DJ Delima, please help, men and women

[jawbn5]

I've been reading these posts and articles in the sosuave.com site. They do help and I figure I'm a semi-DJ, but recently my DJ'ness took a hit. Can anyone help?

I met this nice girl a couple of weeks ago and we have gone out a few times. We haven't done anything major, just making out on the couch. Things seem to be going well, but last night she really got me upset. We were sitting and talking and she remarked how she was excited that she was going to get to make new friends and go out on more dates. My response was "Whahht?!" I wasn't kurt, harsh or confrontational, it was just a, "what". And she asked "Would that make you mad, if I went out on dates with other guys? Just her asking me this question made me mad. I pussed and out and answered "I don't know." When, yes it would upset me. Now I know we are just starting out and I don't think she see's us a totally exclusive (obviously), but I'm not going to put myself in a position to be a women's number 2 guy. I really didn't want to be the first one to bring up that the two of us should be a steady exclusive couple (read this in one of the articles). I think it may have been a test, weather I was one to get really jealous (which I don't, I would just break off the relationship).

Q: Why would she bring this up?

Q: Does anyone have experience with getting asking this same question?

Q: And, how do I reply. Should I tell her the next time I see her that, yes I would not like it if you are going out on dates with other guys, (I think this may make me out to be the controlling a-hole), or wait and see if she brings it up again, and tell I really like taking you out and to tell you the truth I'm not going to like it if your go out on a date with a different guy.

Oh yeah, everything seemed cool at the end of the evening, we had long kisses goodnight.

I don't take everything written on sosuave to be gosple either, I just do what I feel best fits me. So I guess I'm asking how the hell I treat this situation.

BTW: What the hell does AFC stand for? Thanks.

 

[So Many Ways]

You should have said, "great! I'm seeing other girls. Maybe we can double date" or something along those lines. What she did was a classic sh!t test. She was testing your composure.

 

[Slickster]

It may be a cunning ploy designed to make you reveal your feelings. You did, which may hurt your chances. Don't bring it up again. Play it cool.

Keep in mind if she is truly interested she won't be dating other guys.

Protect yourself.

 

[WaterTiger]

Yep! It was a shyt test. She wants you to be jealous to make her feel "wanted". The "let's double date" answer was great, so is:

Yeah, I think we should see other people because I'm not sure if you're going to be enough woman for me.

Sure, I'm dating other women! In fact...there's this little blond with this SMOKIN' body I'm seeing tomorrow....

The point of it is, not to act like loosing her scares you. You lived without her before you met, you'll live after she's gone. She's one of many, not one of a kind. If she wants to be the one of a kind...she has to prove it to you.

 

[jawbn5]

Thanks for the help. We are getting together tomorrow, (Wed). I don't foresee any problems, I do think it was a stupid little test. I like what someone said "...keep in mind, if she is really interested she wouldn't date other people." Sorry I can't remember who you are. I may (this is a big maybe) bring that up to her if she says she is interested but still talks about dating other people. But it would probably be down the road quite a bit.

WaterTiger, your reply was great, I sent you a pm, hope you got it. I agree with all that you said.

Thanks to all.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Don't you mean dilemna?

 

[sustainable007]

Pursue other women

I think she is putting the writing on the wall by what she said...A woman that was into you wouldnt do that....Heres what I would do:

1. Dont bring it up again unless she brings it up...

2. If she brings it up again I have the feeling that she is setting you up for a LJBF...in that case I would tell her that you have plenty of friends and that you dont need anymore...Then I would next her....

3. Now you are in a fortunate situation cause this girl has shown you her hand...So I suggest that even if that conversation doesnt come up again, I would flirt with and Phuck as many beautiful women as possible even if you are dating this girl cause I am seeing red lights, and you might as well look out for your own interests cause no one else is going to my friend....

4. I guess its kinda like that movie "The Recruit" your mantra should be "trust no one and nothing is as it seems"....

 

[decades]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
Yep! It was a shyt test. She wants you to be jealous to make her feel "wanted". The "let's double date" answer was great, so is:

Yeah, I think we should see other people because I'm not sure if you're going to be enough woman for me.

Sure, I'm dating other women! In fact...there's this little blond with this SMOKIN' body I'm seeing tomorrow....

The point of it is, not to act like loosing her scares you. You lived without her before you met, you'll live after she's gone. She's one of many, not one of a kind. If she wants to be the one of a kind...she has to prove it to you.

these are quite funny but the reason men won't or don't use them to answer this question is they don't want to BLOW UP the present opportunity. I think it has the potential to immediately cool her down enough to end the evening. Depends on whether she really wanted you to say "no I don't want you to do that." The snappy answer is too often a casualty to expedience.

 

[princelydeeds]

I may have simply said, "good, have fun," or "what you do when your not around me is none of my business." I would only use these responses if she asks you directly about her seeing someone else.

Honestly, I probably wouldn't have said anything. Always judge a chick by her actions, never by her words. How does she treat you? Does she act like you are her number one priority? If she acts like you are number one, its a sh!t test ignore her. If she acts like she only cares a little then shes being honest, ignore her still.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It sounds like a bottle check. She's feeling out your self-confidence to ascertain if she's made a good call by getting intimate with you. 2 weeks in and gone out a few times, how many times is a few? What's the circumstances of these dates? How did you meet her? What did you do? I need more info.

If she's implying non-exclusivity, your response should always be agreeance. This is the litmus test for confidence - never let her think that she is your only source of intimacy. Women are more competitive than men, they just express this competition in more subtle ways. She's expecting you to pick up on this.

Remember, in any relationship, the one with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

play it cool and the next time you start making out with her, pull out a big roll of reynolds wrap and start covering her whole body with it. When she asks what the fvck are you doing, just tell her you don't wanna catch anything since she is non-exclusive. If that doesn't get a reaction, pull out a can of lysol and spray her down.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
play it cool and the next time you start making out with her, pull out a big roll of reynolds wrap and start covering her whole body with it. When she asks what the fvck are you doing, just tell her you don't wanna catch anything since she is non-exclusive. If that doesn't get a reaction, pull out a can of lysol and spray her down.

Boy I hope your joking!

Please don't over react. Relax think your way through the situation. You know how she is don't fall in love with her.

 

[AlwaysLearning]

1. Don't see her too often, no more than once a week. The more you see her, the more emotionally attached you will get. If she does end up dating other people, you will be fvcked up for a long while. These first few weeks you can feel her out.

2. Date other people. Look at how this b1tch talks to you. Telling you she's going to date other people. What the fvck! Don't put all your eggs in one basket dude. Read Pooks post on "15 Lessons", the part about the pictures of the women on the wall. You'll get what I'm saying.

3. If she keeps saying shiit like this that gets you all anxious and worried, NEXT her. "How to Tell When a Relationship is Over" in the "Book of Shuma Gora".

-AL

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Re: Pursue other women

Originally posted by sustainable007
I think she is putting the writing on the wall by what she said...A woman that was into you wouldnt do that....Heres what I would do:

1. Dont bring it up again unless she brings it up...

2. If she brings it up again I have the feeling that she is setting you up for a LJBF...

Ding, ding, ding!!!! We have a winnner!!! An interested (LTR) woman wouldn't even think like this or at least be afraid that she will offend and lose you!!

From your response, she now knows that you desire her as a LTR more than she desires you - you showed your hand!!!

Just don't be a bytch and let her dictate the agenda hereupon!!!!!!