With credits given to Alpha Male Smilodon, I'd just like people on this board to understand this technique a little bit more.
Its hard to think up solutions when we're too worried about how its going to affect us. When we give advice to other people.. its easier because we won't be the ones taking the fall. We don't have to handle the rejections/losses/humiliation/negativeness caused by a bad choice.
That factor alone keeps us from thinking up possible and most of the time good solutions to our problems.
Now.. an effective way to use this technique is to first:
Relax.
Now that you've done with your whining.. start thinking about your problem. Whats bothering you in the first place? Can you do something about it? Is it serious? Would it affect you in any way?
Secondly.. open up Wordpad or you could do it the oldschool style and write it down on a piece of paper. Write down what you're feeling. You could also follow Alpha Male Smilodon's suggestion and write up an imaginary post you'd put up on SoSuave. Make it detailed.
After spewing out all your feelings.. put it aside. Save it (if you're using the computer and a software) or just put it somewhere else (paper and pen). Have a drink.. take a bath.. exercise.. take a walk.
After around 1 hour or for as long as you can afford.. (the longer the better, its important you take time off from your problem before going on) find that writing and read it. Now take it as some dude whose AFCness makes N Sync's songs seem romeo-like.
Be straight. Be emotionless. Flame him if you have to. Write it down again. Give him (you) suggestions, and voila! You've thought up your own solution from 3rd person perspective.
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i'd rather die than give you control
Its hard to think up solutions when we're too worried about how its going to affect us. When we give advice to other people.. its easier because we won't be the ones taking the fall. We don't have to handle the rejections/losses/humiliation/negativeness caused by a bad choice.
That factor alone keeps us from thinking up possible and most of the time good solutions to our problems.
Now.. an effective way to use this technique is to first:
Relax.
Now that you've done with your whining.. start thinking about your problem. Whats bothering you in the first place? Can you do something about it? Is it serious? Would it affect you in any way?
Secondly.. open up Wordpad or you could do it the oldschool style and write it down on a piece of paper. Write down what you're feeling. You could also follow Alpha Male Smilodon's suggestion and write up an imaginary post you'd put up on SoSuave. Make it detailed.
After spewing out all your feelings.. put it aside. Save it (if you're using the computer and a software) or just put it somewhere else (paper and pen). Have a drink.. take a bath.. exercise.. take a walk.
After around 1 hour or for as long as you can afford.. (the longer the better, its important you take time off from your problem before going on) find that writing and read it. Now take it as some dude whose AFCness makes N Sync's songs seem romeo-like.
Be straight. Be emotionless. Flame him if you have to. Write it down again. Give him (you) suggestions, and voila! You've thought up your own solution from 3rd person perspective.
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i'd rather die than give you control