"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Dilemma - got it down to two girls but still undecided

gav

Master Don Juan
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Alright guys, got myself into a bit of a situation and need some general advice

Started (re)seeing a girl about a month ago (7 dates total - including a couple of dates from back in May as well) - this girl is the ex of a very good mate, although he's kl with it; but she's also the ex of another mate although he only recently found out about it but doesn't know that she cheated on him with me back in May - this really should be the fvcking warning lights right there!

I didn't really want things to last, esp because she wasn't all that dirty, but i've shagged her a couple of times now and it was unexpectedly good, although I don't want an LTR to start.

Meanwhile, in the last month, I've dated 1 other girl and kissed (fairly serious kissing that is) two others (both friends). Decided not to take any of that further, except for one of the girls who I have now asked out to a formal night out next Friday. I'm very close with her friends and if they find out that I'm still seeing the other girl, I'm fvcked.

Therefore, I've got to make a choice, and it's not that easy because I can't just blow this formal thing off completely with the second girl.

At the weekend there with the first girl things sort of got out of hand in the morning, and we're now exchanging christmas presents, which I don't want. Although if I break things off with her, I'll be sort of fvcking up things with another lot of my mates.

General advice:

(from what I recall from this site I should be thinking the following:

- use instinct re what I want
- if I'm going to break things off with one of the girls, just do it using some bullshyt wording like i don't want a long term

I wish I was a Mormon :(

Any help pls? Anyone been in a similar situation? Particularly, do you think it's a good idea to say to the first girl that I don't want a long term thing, so let's cool it off, but maybe start things back up next year? I really wish I could say let's be fvck buddies but she'd probably chew my **** off if I said that

Cheers

Gav
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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loving

Senior Don Juan
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Follow your bliss
Happy to tell you this mate but no one on this forum can answer your question.

You gotta honestly ask yourself which is best for your situation. That might even be both, then you gotta ask if you wanna see if they're open to a mixed (love triangle) relationship, or continue to go one behind the others back.

Just follow your bliss.
 

gav

Master Don Juan
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Update:

This afternoon I broke up with the girl I've been seeing the longest. Skirted around a proper explanation by saying I don't want a long term thing just now.

She obviously asked if there is someone else, to which I replied no, I don't want an ltr just now, but in any case there's no spark - although it was pretty difficult to do because she looked stunning and I had a hardon before I came out with the explanation

Question:

Would it have been more hurtful to have told her that I went out on the Friday night and had 3 girls that I had to say no to? - therefore I'm pissed off and want to end this?

I don't think saying this would have helped things and anyway, the result is that we're still friends and will probably end up shagging each other next year on a night out if we're both single

Other good news is that instead of choosing between 4 girls, I only have to choose between 2 - on Friday one of the 4 found out I had cheated on another one, called me a d!ck and isn't speaking any more lol

Have a good Christmas guys x
 
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