So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I was sitting at my neighbors last night, trying to figure out what to do. The calgary stamped just started last night, so we decided to go there to try and pick up some women, because as the saying goes 'if you can't get laid during stampede, you're either not trying or gay.'
My neighbours are both very shy, but only one of the 2 came with and another friend. We hop the train to the saddledome, and find out that it's 12$ per person... we decided to go to a bar instead.
So we're walking up the strip of clubs, and every one of them has a line out the door. Finally we see a club with no line. I walk up and show my out of province ID. The bouncer didn't recognize it.
Him: This looks like a fake, do you have another ID?
Me: No, because I've never needed another ID.
Him: Well, I can't let you in.
Me: Get a black light, or one of your counterfeit detectors and take a look.
Him: We don't have one of those.
Me: *Reached into my pocket and pulled out a wad of about 500$ in 20's and flashed in front of his face.* You just cost your boss a big spending customer, dumbass.
We walked to the next club, and got in within 5 min. As we're waiting in line, this MAD hottie (8-9.5) asks if she can cut. "Oh, so you think that because you got blonde hair and blue eyes that you can cut in line..."
Her: Oh I wouldn't do that...
Me: not to me at least. *smiling*
Once we were inside, I made about 10-15 different approaches... I was getting barely any reactions, while at the same time trying to coax my friend into approaching himself, beause "We ARE going home with a woman each!"
So, the end of the night rolls around... we're both no further than when we walked in. We get ushered out by one of the bouncers, who got pissed off at me for chatting up the beer tub girl.
Then, we get outside... we were standing by the entrance. Against the wall was this cute girl (7in the face 5 in the body) surrounded by 4 other guys. As I was talking with my friend, I did NOT stop the eye contact... for like 5 min we locked eyes. Then right as I was about to turn around she motions for me to talk to her.
We were talking, while she was trying to find her friend. Who was also getting hit on by these 2 losers. She whispered to me to help get rid of those guys.
Just then, 6 dudes walk past, and started calling the two losers on. We just kept walking as they got beat down.... I felt just a little bad, but they did my work for me.
It just so happened that we were waiting for the same train. Eventually, we made it to where they parked the car... it was stolen.
So, we offered to bring them over to our place which was the next stop. On the way there, I grabbed the girls hand, and gave her a kiss... I knew I was in.
We sat down in my neighbours, listened to music for a little while, then they both went to sleep. That's when me and the girl started kissing, I told her that I was going to sleep in my bed... I took her hand went next door, and chalk one up for the bad guys.
My neighbours are both very shy, but only one of the 2 came with and another friend. We hop the train to the saddledome, and find out that it's 12$ per person... we decided to go to a bar instead.
So we're walking up the strip of clubs, and every one of them has a line out the door. Finally we see a club with no line. I walk up and show my out of province ID. The bouncer didn't recognize it.
Him: This looks like a fake, do you have another ID?
Me: No, because I've never needed another ID.
Him: Well, I can't let you in.
Me: Get a black light, or one of your counterfeit detectors and take a look.
Him: We don't have one of those.
Me: *Reached into my pocket and pulled out a wad of about 500$ in 20's and flashed in front of his face.* You just cost your boss a big spending customer, dumbass.
We walked to the next club, and got in within 5 min. As we're waiting in line, this MAD hottie (8-9.5) asks if she can cut. "Oh, so you think that because you got blonde hair and blue eyes that you can cut in line..."
Her: Oh I wouldn't do that...
Me: not to me at least. *smiling*
Once we were inside, I made about 10-15 different approaches... I was getting barely any reactions, while at the same time trying to coax my friend into approaching himself, beause "We ARE going home with a woman each!"
So, the end of the night rolls around... we're both no further than when we walked in. We get ushered out by one of the bouncers, who got pissed off at me for chatting up the beer tub girl.
Then, we get outside... we were standing by the entrance. Against the wall was this cute girl (7in the face 5 in the body) surrounded by 4 other guys. As I was talking with my friend, I did NOT stop the eye contact... for like 5 min we locked eyes. Then right as I was about to turn around she motions for me to talk to her.
We were talking, while she was trying to find her friend. Who was also getting hit on by these 2 losers. She whispered to me to help get rid of those guys.
Just then, 6 dudes walk past, and started calling the two losers on. We just kept walking as they got beat down.... I felt just a little bad, but they did my work for me.
It just so happened that we were waiting for the same train. Eventually, we made it to where they parked the car... it was stolen.
So, we offered to bring them over to our place which was the next stop. On the way there, I grabbed the girls hand, and gave her a kiss... I knew I was in.
We sat down in my neighbours, listened to music for a little while, then they both went to sleep. That's when me and the girl started kissing, I told her that I was going to sleep in my bed... I took her hand went next door, and chalk one up for the bad guys.