"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Different Levels of Shyness?

Frank2500

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
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Age
48
Greetings folks, I was just curious. I hear people say that there are different levels of shyness and I'm trying to analyze what sort of personality I have. Very many people describe me as introverted, reserved and shy. When I'm in social situations with people who are much older than me (I'm 34), who come across as a lot more extroverted and who I'm not yet used to personally or don't know very well, I tend to find it quite difficult to hold lengthy conversations with them. I often just fade away without much to say...while the others just keep talking and talking. Some of them incorrectly assume that it implies I'm not very sociable or even perhaps that I don't enjoy their company because I don't talk as much in their presence.


However, on the job, I do whatever it takes to be efficient and carry out my responsibilities. If I'm asked to be the host of a social gathering of employees, I do my best to be effective and to do an excellent job even though public speaking isn't my favorite activity. When it comes to going for anything I want, the shyness seems to take a back seat.


Such was the case when I ran for a student government position in high school and had to campaign in classrooms and make a major speech in front of the school. Very few people had high expectations because they perceived me as a very quiet man. Some former classmates even pleaded with me not to embarrass them before I took the stage to speak in front of the school. But when I did, I took everyone by surprise and the applause I received was so tremendous that I knew I would probably win if the votes were tallied correctly and by God's grace I did.




Also, when it comes to approaching a woman I feel attracted to, the shyness also seems to take a backseat. I've dated several, really good-looking women whom a lot of my male friends and acquaintances found quite surprising because of what they thought they knew of my personality. They tended to assume perhaps I wouldn't be able to handle them because I come across as very reserved. Furthermore, when it comes to any sort of stage performance, if it is something I really like to do and for which an audience would evaluate me, I often do an excellent job. So what sort of shyness or personality might this be, then?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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