Did I pursue enough or a lost cause to begin with?

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Did I pursue this girl all the way. This an arguement me and a friend are having. I was in the supermarket and the cashier girl was being nice to me asking me questions on my relationship status etc. and in the end told me to remember her name see her again.

I wasnt sure if she was flirting with me at that time but the second time around she said I should invite her to my house for some ice cream as she was ringing the one i bought(I live at home so a booty call wouldnt be in the cards there and it wasnt said that way)


This time I asked around for advice and was told to go for the number close.(Thursday) I did and on Sunday l called her up but got the machine and hunged up the phone, but she had caller ID and my brother picked it up so I had to take the call.

Talking with her she was being receptive though there was another chick in the background and she bought when we were going out on our date. I give her one of two days we could do it and she says she had to check what her shift would be first and she will call me.


Fast foward 4 days (Thurday) I called her and say's she forgot to call me and she got suspended at work (sure ) and monday she havesome free time I tell her I'll call on sunday to see if im open,but she starts mentioning that her stomach was hurting and she was feeling sick. So I get off the phone. On Sunday I called and told her I can do it and tell her the time and place and she's telling me to call her back tomorrow.


At that point I felt I was being played by her since the only time she wanted to go out/mentioned it was when the other girl she was next to could hear us talking ( showing off to her the other girl "She got another guy wanting to go out with me...etc) and just flirting and didnt think Ill ask her out, and, three mainly, if she got suspended then WE COULDVE GONE OUT!

So I assumed she was playing games and havent seen/called her cause I ditched the number and no call from her as well. My friend telling me was a test i failed big time . Which of us is right?

 

[Ever onward]

I'm getting sleepy so sorry if my advice isn't great.

Flakyness is a HUGE test that women will put men through. Call her on it. Next time you call her say to her "Let's get together for (insert date idea here), and if she starts to give you the runaround again INTERUPT HER and say "STOP, I'm doing such and such tonight (date idea again) and your welcome to come along, you gonna be there yes or no?"

If she flakes again, tear up her number and say NEXT

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Ever onward
I'm getting sleepy so sorry if my advice isn't great.

Flakyness is a HUGE test that women will put men through. Call her on it. Next time you call her say to her "Let's get together for (insert date idea here), and if she starts to give you the runaround again INTERUPT HER and say "STOP, I'm doing such and such tonight (date idea again) and your welcome to come along, you gonna be there yes or no?"

If she flakes again, tear up her number and say NEXT

BAD ADVICE!!! This girl is NOT INTERESTED and that should be extremely obivious!! She's dictating the agenda and that's not good for you. Everytime you call her is when she tells you to. She was/is probably physically attracted to you, but your not being a challenge to her and she got bored by it because she knew she had your by the ballz. When she said call me tomorrow, you shouldn't have called. This would have intrigued her if she had ANY interest in you.

This girl sounds flakey, she seems like she has already starting lying to you (suspended from work and yet no time..LOL yeah right) and she's being disrespectful. True DJ's always know when to abandon ship, so WALK THE PLANK and keep your pride.

If she happens to call, tell her that her schedule is crazy and its making it ridiculous for you to even try to get together. Then tell her you don't want to waste your time...CLICK



PIMP

 

[Craig Reeves]

OK, here we go...

I understand your situation. I think every guy has dealt with flakyness from a woman, and it's definitely something that can make guys feel very insecure and often times weak and neglected.

The best way to deal with flakyness is to force the woman not to impose it. For example, when I ask for a girl's number, I will THEN ask her, "OK, now what are the chances of you actually answering this number? 'Cause I don't do messages." If she gives you some kind of flack, hand the number back to her and say, "not interested". Simple as that.

Date request. Same thing.

You call her up and talk for a bit, at the close of the conversation, you say something like, "Hey listen, I'm going to be (doing something) at around (some time), you should come along. If she gives you flack, again, slam the door on the oppurtunity altogether. Interrupt her and say, "Nevermind, don't come then."

Now that THAT is said....let's get to YOUR situation...

Whether this girl was flirting or NOT should not have mattered to you. Remember, YOUR the one doing the selecting, NOT her. If you wanted this girl's phone number, you should have asked for it. I swear that so many people wouldn't have so many problems with women if they'd just learn to go after what THEY want instead of what SHE wants. Don't ever let a girl's interest level determine whether or not you make a move, because you will never know what her interest level is until you DO make a move.

Now let's get to when you called her up. Women will VERY OFTEN try this little game: "OK, let me see what my schedule is like and I'll call you back." This is a little trick that women learn to quickly and easily gain control of the situation and ultimately allow her time to decide what to do with you. DON'T ALLOW HER TO DO IT. Here's what you should have done:

Her: OK, let me check to see what my schedule is like and I'll call you back.

You: If you're not sure if you can do it, then I'm not interested. Take it or leave it.

That's what you should have done. You cannot allow women to flake on you...you just can't do it. You need to convey to her that you can be EASILY lost. If a girl says something like, "Well I have (this) at this time". You say something like "Well, you better give me some other time you can do it or don't expect me to ever offer you my time anymore."

Now let's talk about Thursday. You made many many mistakes here. If you were going to call her Thursday, you should have said something like, "Well, you didn't call me, so I'm not going to waste my time anymore unless you figure out some kind of way to make it up to me." You should NOT have allowed her to flake on you even more.

You should not have told this girl that you would call her back the next day, you should have made it a done deal RIGHT THEN. This girl was planning on flaking out on you again.

The reason why you want to "cut the flake" is to get a clearer picture of her interest level. If she's interested, she will clean up her act. If she's not, she'll just come up front and will be more likely to tell you she's not interested and you can move on.

 

[Ever onward]

BAD ADVICE!!! This girl is NOT INTERESTED and that should be extremely obivious!! She's dictating the agenda and that's not good for you. Everytime you call her is when she tells you to. She was/is probably physically attracted to you, but your not being a challenge to her and she got bored by it because she knew she had your by the ballz. When she said call me tomorrow, you shouldn't have called. This would have intrigued her if she had ANY interest in you.

Hey I told the man I was sleepy lol. My point was he should definetly put his foot down and call her on her BS. You have to keep these broads in check and don't let em get away with murder.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by Craig Reeves
OK, here we go...

I understand your situation. I think every guy has dealt with flakyness from a woman, and it's definitely something that can make guys feel very insecure and often times weak and neglected.

The best way to deal with flakyness is to force the woman not to impose it. For example, when I ask for a girl's number, I will THEN ask her, "OK, now what are the chances of you actually answering this number? 'Cause I don't do messages." If she gives you some kind of flack, hand the number back to her and say, "not interested". Simple as that.

Date request. Same thing.

You call her up and talk for a bit, at the close of the conversation, you say something like, "Hey listen, I'm going to be (doing something) at around (some time), you should come along. If she gives you flack, again, slam the door on the oppurtunity altogether. Interrupt her and say, "Nevermind, don't come then."

Now that THAT is said....let's get to YOUR situation...

Whether this girl was flirting or NOT should not have mattered to you. Remember, YOUR the one doing the selecting, NOT her. If you wanted this girl's phone number, you should have asked for it. I swear that so many people wouldn't have so many problems with women if they'd just learn to go after what THEY want instead of what SHE wants. Don't ever let a girl's interest level determine whether or not you make a move, because you will never know what her interest level is until you DO make a move.

Now let's get to when you called her up. Women will VERY OFTEN try this little game: "OK, let me see what my schedule is like and I'll call you back." This is a little trick that women learn to quickly and easily gain control of the situation and ultimately allow her time to decide what to do with you. DON'T ALLOW HER TO DO IT. Here's what you should have done:

Her: OK, let me check to see what my schedule is like and I'll call you back.

You: If you're not sure if you can do it, then I'm not interested. Take it or leave it.

That's what you should have done. You cannot allow women to flake on you...you just can't do it. You need to convey to her that you can be EASILY lost. If a girl says something like, "Well I have (this) at this time". You say something like "Well, you better give me some other time you can do it or don't expect me to ever offer you my time anymore."

Now let's talk about Thursday. You made many many mistakes here. If you were going to call her Thursday, you should have said something like, "Well, you didn't call me, so I'm not going to waste my time anymore unless you figure out some kind of way to make it up to me." You should NOT have allowed her to flake on you even more.

You should not have told this girl that you would call her back the next day, you should have made it a done deal RIGHT THEN. This girl was planning on flaking out on you again.

The reason why you want to "cut the flake" is to get a clearer picture of her interest level. If she's interested, she will clean up her act. If she's not, she'll just come up front and will be more likely to tell you she's not interested and you can move on.

Excellent advice.

My 0.02, first mistake: She said she will call you back, therefore said no. I know what you think, it seems like a legitimate excuse, but if it's not a "yes" - it's a no. The only excuses acceptable is if there is a wedding or a death in the family. That was test #1 that you failed.

You should have said, you're not sure? Oh well, too bad. I'll talk to you some other time. Click

Then you call her a week later and ask her out again. If it's anything but a yes - throw the number away.


She forgot to call you? Second indicator. She got suspended at work? You should of asked her about it. How did you get suspended and 'forgot' to call. It's not like you were busy. Give her **** about it. This is test number 2. She wants to know if she can give you the run around. You need to put her back in her place. That's what she wants.

Call back on Sunday? No. YOU decide to call back on YOUR TERMS. That's final. Test #3. Testing your spine. You should of said, I'll call you some other time. Call back a week later and read my comments of test #1 again.


Just to let you know. I think you did the right thing pursuing, but you did it in the wrong way. Your friend was right, but if it is any consolation. I think that she had a warm interest at first, but it wasn't high enough. Since you didn't put her back in her place, she lost interest in you.

You know, it seems like it is so calculated when I told her what she is doing, chances are she's not even thinking like that. 'Ooooh, I can make him run around for me, I'm lowering my interest level'. No, it's because of all those little things that her interest level dropped. Now you have a low interest girl on your hands.