Did I make a mistake telling her this???

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

So, I just got back from Australia last September. I was there for a year and a half. Since returning to my country I have been visiting this bar (with dance floor) with my female cousin who comes along with her two friends. One of the friends is a Tom Boy.

We meet once every week on a Saturday and spend a lot of time together. It's been 7 months now since I've known them. The past three weeks I have been getting intimate with my cousin's friend (Not the Tom Boy). We kissed a few times (but she holds back after she bites and pulls my lips) on the dance floor and we conversate regularly.

THEN THIS HAPPENED:

This recent Saturday (13th April) the same thing happened on the dance floor but towards the end of the night when the bar was close to being empty she gave me a comfortable kiss (with no hesitation) and we went for a drive. It was dawn by then 5:00 am in the morning. I parked my car in a secluded area and started French kissing her passionately and also went to second base. I sucked her tits and we both seemed to have a good time. I tried to take off her trousers but she told me not to and that she has to go home. She also pointed out that it was bright already. Nevertheless we continued kissing passionately again and after a while she asked me to drive her to the bar where she parked her car. While we were passionately making out the second time I told her:

"I will make love to you next week" and she responded "no". It wasn't a violent "no". It was a "no" you hear in the heat of passion.

I drove her to her car next to the bar and before she exited my car we made out and again I went to second base (Sucked her tits)

Do you think I made a mistake by telling her about making love to her next week?

What do you think I should expect when we meet again this Saturday? Should I pretend nothing happened? Act normal? Or get more comfortable around her but be patient for the physical aspects much later in the night.

What should I do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

[highSpeed]

So, I just got back from Australia last September. I was there for a year and a half. Since returning to my country I have been visiting this bar (with dance floor) with my female cousin who comes along with her two friends. One of the friends is a Tom Boy.

We meet once every week on a Saturday and spend a lot of time together. It's been 7 months now since I've known them. The past three weeks I have been getting intimate with my cousin's friend (Not the Tom Boy). We kissed a few times (but she holds back after she bites and pulls my lips) on the dance floor and we conversate regularly.

THEN THIS HAPPENED:

This recent Saturday (13th April) the same thing happened on the dance floor but towards the end of the night when the bar was close to being empty she gave me a comfortable kiss (with no hesitation) and we went for a drive. It was dawn by then 5:00 am in the morning. I parked my car in a secluded area and started French kissing her passionately and also went to second base. I sucked her tits and we both seemed to have a good time. I tried to take off her trousers but she told me not to and that she has to go home. She also pointed out that it was bright already. Nevertheless we continued kissing passionately again and after a while she asked me to drive her to the bar where she parked her car. While we were passionately making out the second time I told her:

"I will make love to you next week" and she responded "no". It wasn't a violent "no". It was a "no" you hear in the heat of passion.

I drove her to her car next to the bar and before she exited my car we made out and again I went to second base (Sucked her tits)

Do you think I made a mistake by telling her about making love to her next week?

What do you think I should expect when we meet again this Saturday? Should I pretend nothing happened? Act normal? Or get more comfortable around her but be patient for the physical aspects much later in the night.

What should I do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Seems like you got your answer don't you think? I might make one more attempt, invite her back to your place, proceed to bang and if she stops you, you're not getting any of that. You know though, set the mood, lights, movie, little wine (lot of it to get her inhibitions down) and go for it.

Not to be negative but I'm thinking it's not even going to get there, she's not coming back to your place. You could try setting something up at hers if she passes on yours but I'm thinking this is not a layup for you.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Seems like you got your answer don't you think? I might make one more attempt, invite her back to your place, proceed to bang and if she stops you, you're not getting any of that. You know though, set the mood, lights, movie, little wine (lot of it to get her inhibitions down) and go for it.

Not to be negative but I'm thinking it's not even going to get there, she's not coming back to your place. You could try setting something up at hers if she passes on yours but I'm thinking this is not a layup for you.

I mean, how bad can it be? From your perspective what might have gone through her head? What could she be thinking about? It's not such a major turn-off is it? I didn't press the situation after I said it once. And we were both pissed drunk. I mean if that were the case then every small mistake a woman makes would turn a man-off as well.

 

[highSpeed]

I mean, how bad can it be? From your perspective what might have gone through her head? What could she be thinking about? It's not such a major turn-off is it? I didn't press the situation after I said it once. And we were both pissed drunk.

Sounds like she's just not into the bang. I wasn't there but no doesn't seem like a great response when you tell her you're going to hammer her. Just saying. Maybe you're right, maybe she was in the heat of the moment and that was an innocuous comment but it seems like a hell yea would be a better comment than no when you say that.

 

[samspade]

It's not a big deal. It wasn't the smoothest line, but it could have been a lot worse, too. Just proceed as normal, like you never said it.

Look at it this way: Of course she was going to say "no." She's not going to schedule sex with you for next week. That is just about the last way a woman wants to proceed with intimacy. And if she said "yes," she knows it's a green light for you to escalate more in that moment, when she probably wanted to go home and sleep, or at least go home so as not to appear too eager. The "no" could also mean "not gonna happen," but since you were sucking her tits, I think there's a pretty good chance it WILL happen.

Just forget you said it. If she happens to bring it up (like as a shyt test) just smile and say, "when did I say that? I remember my mouth being full most the night."

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

"when did I say that? I remember my mouth being full most the night."

Haha. That's witty. I will keep that in mind

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Sounds like she's just not into the bang. I wasn't there but no doesn't seem like a great response when you tell her you're going to hammer her. Just saying. Maybe you're right, maybe she was in the heat of the moment and that was an innocuous comment but it seems like a hell yea would be a better comment than no when you say that.

Could that be LMR (Last Minute Resistance)? She was obviously gonna say 'no' to take away the blame for 'Sex' if it did happen and also not to make her feel like a 'slut'. I mean, if she were turned-off by me we wouldn't have made out twice after that 'statement'. Once immediately after and once just before she exited my car.

 

[highSpeed]

Ok, let's see who is right then. Invite her back to your place for a netflix and chill type of night. See if she goes for it. If she doesn't, if she doesn't counter with another time/place to bang, then it's probably done. Do that and report back how it went. All of us will see what that no really meant then.

 

[samspade]

@highSpeed could be right, but you just won't know until you see her again. Don't let it discourage you. Look at it this way, you got to her boobs and got her in your car, you're making progress. Agree with the Netflix and Chill invitation, something different with more isolation.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Ok, let's see who is right then. Invite her back to your place for a netflix and chill type of night. See if she goes for it. If she doesn't, if she doesn't counter with another time/place to bang, then it's probably done. Do that and report back how it went. All of us will see what that no really meant then.

So according to your 'experience' and 'perception', you are telling me that one 'statement' completely killed off my chances of getting laid with her?

 

[highSpeed]

So according to your 'experience' and 'perception', you are telling me that one 'statement' completely killed off my chances of getting laid with her?

My experience, since you put it in quotes, my experience often tells me that if it doesn't happen in the moment, it's less likely to actually happen. If she wanted to, if she was really ready in that moment, she'd have put out like a motherf*cker. Everything else is just an excuse. Perhaps, for whatever reason, she wanted to and if you were back at her/your place? Probably would have scored. But maybe not. Either way, once the moment is over, it's less likely to happen.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

My experience, since you put it in quotes, my experience often tells me that if it doesn't happen in the moment, it's less likely to actually happen. If she wanted to, if she was really ready in that moment, she'd have put out like a motherf*cker. Everything else is just an excuse. Perhaps, for whatever reason, she wanted to and if you were back at her/your place? Probably would have scored. But maybe not. Either way, once the moment is over, it's less likely to happen.

Thank you for your respone

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

My experience, since you put it in quotes, my experience often tells me that if it doesn't happen in the moment, it's less likely to actually happen. If she wanted to, if she was really ready in that moment, she'd have put out like a motherf*cker. Everything else is just an excuse. Perhaps, for whatever reason, she wanted to and if you were back at her/your place? Probably would have scored. But maybe not. Either way, once the moment is over, it's less likely to happen.

Would your response be any different if I told you a few factors that might alter the perception of the situation:

1) She's married with a 3 year old daughter
2) She knows I am married
3) We are from a conservative Asian country
4) It was daylight

The reason I kept these details out was to get a straight forward answer without the influences from these factors (Except for the daylight part)

 

[highSpeed]

Would your response be any different if I told you a few factors that might alter the perception of the situation:

1) She's married with a 3 year old daughter
2) She knows I am married
3) We are from a conservative Asian country
4) It was daylight

The reason I kept these details out was to get a straight forward answer without the influences from these factors (Except for the daylight part)

Possibly, if I were you, I would have at least pushed for a *******. If she gave that out, gave you a kiss on the cheek after you blew your load in her mouth and you dropped her off, I'd say you're in, literally. At this moment though, you've still lost some momentum. Remember, the same thing still applies in any event, if it doesn't happen in the moment, it's less likely to happen. Women get cold feet about this sh*t all the time. They think better of things after the moment has passed. At least with the *******, you've broken down her defenses to some degree.

At this point, getting something setup asap for her place (since you're married or a hotel at least) is your best bet to stop her from getting cold feet.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

1) The first play happened as soon as I parked my car. I was seated in the drivers seat (obviously) and she on the passenger side. I turned over and escalated to make-out. (2nd base)

2) Next I opened my door and crossed over to her side. Opened the door and was basically on top of her in the passenger seat. That's when I opened my "big mouth". (2nd base).

3) After a minute or two there I proceeded to return to the drivers seat. Once I got inside we made out again to 2nd base.

4) I drove her to her car and before she exited my car we made out one more time (2nd base)

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Possibly, if I were you, I would have at least pushed for a *******. If she gave that out, gave you a kiss on the cheek after you blew your load in her mouth and you dropped her off, I'd say you're in, literally. At this moment though, you've still lost some momentum. Remember, the same thing still applies in any event, if it doesn't happen in the moment, it's less likely to happen. Women get cold feet about this sh*t all the time. They think better of things after the moment has passed. At least with the *******, you've broken down her defenses to some degree.

At this point, getting something setup asap for her place (since you're married or a hotel at least) is your best bet to stop her from getting cold feet.

I agree with you about losing momentum and hence my worry. I just hope she dosen't get cold feet and turn ice cold. I don't want that **** to happen. This literally sucks because she's been on my mind since then. She's taken a lot of mental space and it's screwing my thought process. Been doing some cardio (Joggin) lately but it's just temporary relief. This s**t comes right back.

 

[highSpeed]

I agree with you about losing momentum and hence my worry. I just hope she dosen't get cold feet and turn ice cold. I don't want that **** to happen. This literally sucks because she's been on my mind since then. She's taken a lot of mental space and it's screwing my thought process. Been doing some cardio (Joggin) lately but it's just temporary relief. This s**t comes right back.

Time for another one. Sorry your marriage is so sh*tty that you have to look to the side to get enjoyment. Not a good way to go through a marriage.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Time for another one. Sorry your marriage is so sh*tty that you have to look to the side to get enjoyment. Not a good way to go through a marriage.

Just trying to have a little fun outside of it

 

[samspade]

Just try again. It's her job to reject you, and she hasn't done that yet.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Just try again. It's her job to reject you, and she hasn't done that yet.

Thanks for your support. It's not like I will tell her everything I told you guys nor reveal it in any shape or form. I guess that's where it pays to be anonymous. You can afford to expose your vulnerability without damaging your shield.