"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Did I get brushed off or not?

PapiChulo

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Hey Everyone, it's mys first post hence I ve just stumbled upon this awesome forum - so be gentile.

I ve met a quality woman in my class. She's one of those nice and smart ladies that you find in science classes and she doesn't know how hot she can be with some work. So, I turned my charm up and it feels that I ve built some rapport with her and attraction over the last month, i.e. caught her checking me out a few times, smiling with prolong eye-contact, some unusual friendliness.

I ve asked here out today suggesting that I would like to "get with her and do stuff together" and made a joke - she laughed - then gotten a bit confused trying to think it over - and said the dreaded "busy" thing that she has work and a project going for the whole month of August which seemed sincere - and then she counter-offered to grab a coffee once we come back on campus in September (that's like in 4 weeks). She also said that she "wasn't looking" at the present moment which appeared somewhat serious and maybe a bit bitter (she does bring up the ex-boyfriend thing). I asked for the phone number and she gladly gave it to me. The body language suggested friendliness, openness, and smile and some intrigue at the beginning.

All this was done fairly casually and with confidence ^^^^^

1. Did I just get brushed off or she has at least some attraction for me and I can pay the benefit of the doubt that it's indeed bad timing right now?

2. I get to see her tomorrow and once next week - should I strike 2nd time with a set date? Wouldn't that be simply annoying? Or wait for a week and then call?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PapiChulo

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No replies .....Well, Ill answer my own question.

I pretty much did get brushed off....turns out there is something complicated going with her. I think I am better off with somebody else.
 
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CarlitosWay

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PapiChulo said:
No replies .....Well, Ill answer my own question.

I pretty much did get brushed off....turns out there is something complicated going with her. I think I better with somebody else.
Yeah just keep trying to spin other plates, things happen in some peoples lives we're only human, who knows next week or two she could hit you up out of the blue. If I was in your position I'd keep convos lively and fun with her. Don't act deterred in any way. If anything use her to share some funny/adventurous stories about you and friends whatever, even if you have to exaggerate them a bit, she might come around if not who cares :).
 

PapiChulo

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Great advice. My thoughts were just heading in about the same direction. Thanks for the response.

Now I have to figure out on how to disarm her bichy cok-blocking friend and couple of suck-up douchebags that seem to be drawn to her.
 

NeverFear

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You didnt get brushed off, but you didnt get the go ahead either.

But until you get a YES, youre in the situation of creating more
attraction.

Right now, you have no idea whats really happening with this girl. It
could be she's just out of a long term relationship. It could be that
she's "sort of" dating somebody else, or that she's about to break
up with somebody.

Or more likely, she has SOME attraction for you, but not ENOUGH
yet to buy. Kind of like being in BestBuy and looking at a CD. Youre
on the fence and need a reason to be pushed over the edge.

Right now I'd create an air of mystery/challenge/and fascination from
afar.

Quit pursuing her. Look hot when you go to class. Be masculine. Make funny comments. Give neg hits and then walk away. And above all,
be seen in the company of other women.

Believe me, this woman is looking for a guy that she can chase.

She's wondering if that could be you, but you havnt created ENOUGH
attraction yet for her to decide.

If you chase her, she's going to give you more excuses.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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PapiChulo

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Yeah...I totally agree with the above - it's very reassuring when somebody is able to put into a perspective clearly. Thanks.
 
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