did i do the right thing?

[big weezy]

i picked up this girl in a bar on fri but i got the number too quickly as not enough rapport was built. as she was smoking outside with her friend me and my wing left and said our goodbyes, that's when i number closed. she kino'd me at the beginning of the interaction touching my arm.

i was planning on a date the same day yesterday so 2 days after i got the number i called her (i felt i needed to build rapport as a text wouldn't be sufficient and she'd prob have forgot about me by then) i called and she sounded really ill, i asked if she just woke up, she said she had a bad cold and asked how i was and how my weekend was. im useless on the phone so my main objectives was to not be on the phone longer than 10mins and try to arrange a date time. i said i was gona suggest we got together that day but cos she was sick that wasnt gona happen.

as she was ill this threw a spanner in the works and also found out she works part time at a department store. 3 days study, 3 days working. she gets her schedule for work on the 1st of march and given that was last week she hasn't been in work since so couldn't give me a firm time when she's free. i mentioned getting together on wednesday but then i said:

'you know what, i'll call in you in a few days when you're better and you're more sure of your schedule, hope you feel better'

did i do the right thing?

and should i wait a bit longer before i recontact? i felt like i was too eager and keen on the phone and too available.

 

[big weezy]

women who work in department stores work odd hours like if i try to arrange an evening date they could be at work. if i dont contact her for a week or till the weekend will she have forgotten about me by then?

 

[Jariel]

Yeah, I think it was wise.

I have been seeing a girl recently and we'd originally arranged a date for last week. However, she was moving house and even though she said she'd try to find time I could see she was stressed and thought I'd give her space. I barely heard from her that week, then the following weekend she text me asking if I was free to meet up. We chatted on the phone and she apologised she'd not been in touch and thanked me for giving her space.

I know there's this belief among PUAs that you must move fast, close, get laid before the clock runs out and you end up in the friendzone or she'll meet some other guy blah blah, but in my opinion that is really awful conditioning that shows desperation. Sometimes you have to know when to take a step back and give a girl her own space.

I would wait a bit longer and if she doesn't contact you, just drop her a text in about 5 days "Hey <name>, you fancy meeting up one of the nights this week?"

 

[big weezy]

so do you think i should wait longer than 3 days before i recontact to set up the date?

i was planning to do it today (i called on sunday) to set up for tomorrow or Friday.

my only concern is that cos it was not the greatest of phone calls her IL might not be as high for me as it was, if it was.. i dont want her to forget about me and im aware you're suppose to contact every 3 days to keep yourself in her mind but i need to be aware that cos i came across as quite keen or available maybe waiting a couple days more would be better..? then again i dont really want to set up a date for this weekend as it looks as if i have no other options (i dont, but that is beside the point)

 

[big weezy]

well i waited till today to suggest a time to meet, i text her at lunch time today. i was originally going to send it wednesday night but i was stressed out about some medical stuff and didnt want to send it yesterday as i had a bad feeling.

i dont know if it' backfired but no response yet. i texted her for us to get together this weekend at the place i mentioned, i offered tomorrow or sunday at 4. tbh the original phone call on sunday may have reduced any IL, im useless on the phone as i get nervous regardless of who i talk to. i think i have a phone phobia.

did i wait too long do you think? 5 days seems like a long time not to contact her in some shape or form esp for such a brief pick up attempt. not enough rapport built.

 

[Jariel]

I think you have to stop looking at it as something you did or didn't do. Sometimes girls just aren't interested for one reason or another...or they have other options they're pursuing.

To be honest, if she was interested I would've expected her to text you within those 5 days, especially as it was you who made last contact.

As for the phone. A lot of people are bad on the phone and although I wouldn't call myself bad and I don't get nervous, it can be difficult sometimes when you're put on the spot like that. I tend to avoid the phone myself unless there's a few things to discuss, plans to make etc.

You've left the ball in her court now, so to speak. Best thing you can do now is pursue other women and let her come to you if she's interested.