"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Did I do the right thing?

buffalobill

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Hey everyone. So basically I've been hanging out with this girl that I met in class (at university) but I wasn't really sure where we were at in terms of "just being friends" or something else. Basically, nothing had happened between us.

Last night we were hanging out and she seemed to be giving me lots of IOI, etc. At this point I start wondering if there is potential for being more than just friends. Then she starts telling me about her "boy troubles" with this guy that she's sort of dating but he doesn't know if he wants to be her boyfriend or not (something like that).

I felt really weird about trying to escalate anything after that point... The fact that we're in the same class (a smaller class too) and we have a big project to work on together really complicates things for me. It's not like I'd be able to avoid her if **** went down. In the end I didn't make any move on her.

Did I do the right thing? Or should I have just gone for it with her?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Tyson420

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I had this problem last year, she didn't really talk about it. She just left a relationship, so I started making moves. She was in all my groups in classes and **** like that.

One time she was hurt or something it wasnt serious, I don't remember I went like "Do you want me to kiss it to make it better?" she went like "YES!" I didn't do it. We were in class and I didn't feel like kissing her infront of everybody, but I probably would have ****ed her much earlier if I did.

Wowwww eh. I was still half AFC, and I was surprised that chicks were digging my 'game' that much.

Then her ex started talking to her again, she goes "I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket." I saw that as a greenlight. In the end I got her.

She was HB8, Indo-Guyanese and had a nice body and face.

In your case, no. I would have forgotten about her and found someone else. Her man is clearly #1 on her priority list and you are #2. Don't settle for that **** bro. You did the right thing.

If my HB8 didn't tell me she didn't want to put her eggs in one basket I would have next'd her.
 

buffalobill

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Hey, thanks for the response. I was already planning to take your advice and just move on from this girl. I'm fairly certain we're not going anywhere, so we can just hang out as friends.

The only thing that sort of threw me off was that I've heard that sometimes girls will talk about other guys as a way of trying to attract you?
 

Tyson420

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Usually they do it as a way of telling you "You have no chance."

Other times its a way of telling you have the green light, like I mentioned.
 

Igetit!

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buffalobill said:
The only thing that sort of threw me off was that I've heard that sometimes girls will talk about other guys as a way of trying to attract you?

Where did you hear that from?


That's the first time I've ever heard of that being an IOI.




I suppose if everything else a girl has done to attracted you has failed,she might go this route.



Girls will sometimes mention other guys in an attempt to make you jealous,but as far as an interest tactic,well in my opinion,the jury is still out on that one.



You said that you weren't sure if you two were "just friends" or something more.




That one statement spoke volumes.



It's almost like saying,"I stuck my finger in a light socket,but I'm not sure if I felt any electricity or not".



Uhh...you didn't.



If you're not sure if you two are sexually interested in each other,that means YOU SCREWED UP by failing to make your interest known.




So it's clear. You never asked her out. If you had,you'd know if you two were just friends,or something more.




These "boy troubles" she was telling you about: Were they troubles about guys she's currently dating,or guys she wants to date?



Either way means these other guys are on her mind,and anything romantic or sexual with you is the last thing she's thinking of.



I agree with Tyson420. You did the right thing.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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buffalobill

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Igetit! said:
If you're not sure if you two are sexually interested in each other,that means YOU SCREWED UP by failing to make your interest known.

So it's clear. You never asked her out. If you had,you'd know if you two were just friends,or something more.

These "boy troubles" she was telling you about: Were they troubles about guys she's currently dating,or guys she wants to date?

Either way means these other guys are on her mind,and anything romantic or sexual with you is the last thing she's thinking of.

I agree with Tyson420. You did the right thing.
Ya, I did a bad job of making my interest known to her because, to be honest, I was never entirely sure if I was interested (I dunno if I really want to get involved with a girl that I have to see multiple times a week in class and to work on our project...)

The boy troubles she was talking about was her sort of implying that she would have wanted to date him, but he had done some things to piss her off and now she's not sure about it anymore.
 
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