Desperation

[gravityeyelids]

I normally don't make posts like this, but i'm getting fed up. I dont know if it's the weather, or my laziness, or me being desperate or what. But i'm stuck in this dry spell and i'm getting really sick of it.

I'm an attractive man and i know so, and everyone around me perceives me as such, i'm confident in basically every aspect of gaming, from opening and getting the number, up until banging the girl and keeping her interested. But i'm not gettting any results.

I go out like 3 times a week, meet girls, pull an average of 3-4 numbers a weekend, and nothing is panning out. I'm opening girls, and i know theyre interested, at least at the time. I would go for the same night lay if i could, but i havent had the logistics,etc to pull that off, except for this very mediocre looking chick i met at the bar a few weeks ago and then resented the fact that i went home with her.

I know I can pull 8's and 9's. I've done it in the past. My last girlfriend was beautiful. But im having terrible results. I can consistently get 6's and 7's interested, pull their number, probably hang out with them. (to me, a HB7 is meh, and not even really worth it. Some may have different scales. the point is these girls are sub-par, and i feel like it is destructive to my reputation to even be seen with mediocre girls). I'm at a party school and your social proof and who you're seen with is everything.

My roommates dont drink. I'm in grad school, and all the people that i used to party with have graduated. I've been trying to go out, and honestly i get just as many phone numbers from dudes, because i'm trying to build a new social circle because I have FVCKING NO ONE to go out and meet girls with. But i text like 8-10 people on an average weeknight, and maybe 1 or 2 of them has decent plans that i can come along with. And even then, they are usually going to the bars, which i fvcking hate compared to house parties. All the girls are closed off, and even if i number pull, they dont remember me the next day or day after when i try to follow up with them..

I know i sound like a whiny b!tch. But seriously. My game is not weak. I'm attractive, dress well, intelligent, tan, in great shape, interesting, i know how to flirt and talk to them. I just feel stuck. I have no one to go out with, let alone a group of cool people that will give me social proof. The girls im meeting dont know anyone i'm friends with so for all they know i'm just some random creep. Much of college game is built on social proof, and if a girl cant talk to her social group/guy friends and check up on you, she will straight up ignore you and wont even give you a chance. I know for a fact that i can bag these chicks if i can get a fvcking day 2 with them, but i cant even get the chance to prove how great of a guy i am. And for whatever reason i'm having a terrrible time of progressing into single night lays.

I'm p!ssed off because i can tell that my desperation is interfering with my game and girls can sense it on me that i'm not getting any action. Its a vicious cycle, and it comes in bursts. When you're getting laid, it's easy because girls can smell it on you that you are loved by the girls and they want to get on you. When you're not, girls can tell you're desperate.

I'm really trying not to be outcome dependent and trying to rationalize that "don't worry, its about improving yourself rather than getting laid" or "it's winter and its cold and sh!tty and everyone is depressed, once it's spring, you and everyone else will be so pumped that it'll be easy". stuff like that. but i'm getting extremely lonely and fvcking p!ssed off. none of these girls are giving me the time of day.

That being said. I dont do much of any day game at all. I guess my rationale is this: the mystery method and much of the other pickup material is great. BUT it is based on the idea that you are in a large, anonymous city, where you dont know many people. In my mind, if i were to start cold approaching girls and trying to pick them up during the day, college is such a social environment, and everyone is a friend of a friend, that word would get around eventually and i would be labelled as a creep. In addition, girls dont trust "randoms" and in college are much more likely to hook up with a guy that has mutual friends with them.

Honestly, i'm just rambling and i need to get this off my chest because this is the only place i can do so. If you want to either ignore me or call me a fvcking pvssy or whatever, i competely understand. I'm just pissed because my friends and co-workers see me talking to these girls and getting phone numbers and calling me a player and stuff when i'm probably more celibate than they are. I NEED HELP FROM YOU GUYS.

I CAN TAKE THE HARD LOVE. Tell me to suck it up if thats what i need. Just please give me some constructive advice. Should i be attempting more cold approaches in places like coffee shops or TJMaxx or whatever? How can I turn these number from my nights out at the bar and parties into legitimate dates and fvcks? Like i said, the most difficult part of it all is that i have no friends to go out and party with and wing me. They either dont drink or have graduated and moved on. I've been trying to meet new people but it's hard.

 

[JoeMarron]

I'd just take a break if I were you. No need to keep going in the state you're in and burn yourself out. Go out with only one objective in mind, to enjoy yourself and help others to enjoy themselves. Chat up everyone you see, just be a friendly cool dude spreading value to others and seeking nothing in return. You'll be able to enjoy yourself more by not actively trying to get laid and women will pick up on that. Also, don't automatically shun the less attractive girls. A cute, feminine, sane HB6-7 can sometimes be better than the hottest chicks. As long as she's not a warpig then you're social proof will be fine. Just being around feminine energy from a chick who's attracted to you should do wonders for your mood. Oh and your quote is wrong. It's "Give me 10 minutes to talk away my ugly face and I'll bed the Queen of France"

 

[gravityeyelids]

I'd just take a break if I were you. No need to keep going in the state you're in and burn yourself out. Go out with only one objective in mind, to enjoy yourself and help others to enjoy themselves. Chat up everyone you see, just be a friendly cool dude spreading value to others and seeking nothing in return. You'll be able to enjoy yourself more by not actively trying to get laid and women will pick up on that. Also, don't automatically shun the less attractive girls. A cute, feminine, sane HB6-7 can sometimes be better than the hottest chicks. As long as she's not a warpig then you're social proof will be fine. Just being around feminine energy from a chick who's attracted to you should do wonders for your mood. Oh and your quote is wrong. It's "Give me 10 minutes to talk away my ugly face and I'll bed the Queen of France"

word. good advice. i just freak out a little bit inside because i'm on a college campus constantly surrounded by ridiculously attractive girls and i feel like every time i dont talk to one, it's a missed opportunity and since i only have like a year and a half in college left, i want to make the most of it. Part of it is that i feel like this weather is really getting to me. It's cold as hell, snowy and it makes you feel so isolated and depressed. I'm not a depressed person in general, but i feel like i get seasonal depression because i live in the northern US and the weather is miserable in the winter. Lately it's been like 8 degrees and it's really bugging me. I wont worry so much tho

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I normally don't make posts like this, but i'm getting fed up. I dont know if it's the weather, or my laziness, or me being desperate or what. But i'm stuck in this dry spell and i'm getting really sick of it.

I'm an attractive man and i know so, and everyone around me perceives me as such, i'm confident in basically every aspect of gaming, from opening and getting the number, up until banging the girl and keeping her interested. But i'm not gettting any results.

I go out like 3 times a week, meet girls, pull an average of 3-4 numbers a weekend, and nothing is panning out. I'm opening girls, and i know theyre interested, at least at the time. I would go for the same night lay if i could, but i havent had the logistics,etc to pull that off, except for this very mediocre looking chick i met at the bar a few weeks ago and then resented the fact that i went home with her.

I know I can pull 8's and 9's. I've done it in the past. My last girlfriend was beautiful. But im having terrible results. I can consistently get 6's and 7's interested, pull their number, probably hang out with them. (to me, a HB7 is meh, and not even really worth it. Some may have different scales. the point is these girls are sub-par, and i feel like it is destructive to my reputation to even be seen with mediocre girls). I'm at a party school and your social proof and who you're seen with is everything.

My roommates dont drink. I'm in grad school, and all the people that i used to party with have graduated. I've been trying to go out, and honestly i get just as many phone numbers from dudes, because i'm trying to build a new social circle because I have FVCKING NO ONE to go out and meet girls with. But i text like 8-10 people on an average weeknight, and maybe 1 or 2 of them has decent plans that i can come along with. And even then, they are usually going to the bars, which i fvcking hate compared to house parties. All the girls are closed off, and even if i number pull, they dont remember me the next day or day after when i try to follow up with them..

I know i sound like a whiny b!tch. But seriously. My game is not weak. I'm attractive, dress well, intelligent, tan, in great shape, interesting, i know how to flirt and talk to them. I just feel stuck. I have no one to go out with, let alone a group of cool people that will give me social proof. The girls im meeting dont know anyone i'm friends with so for all they know i'm just some random creep. Much of college game is built on social proof, and if a girl cant talk to her social group/guy friends and check up on you, she will straight up ignore you and wont even give you a chance. I know for a fact that i can bag these chicks if i can get a fvcking day 2 with them, but i cant even get the chance to prove how great of a guy i am. And for whatever reason i'm having a terrrible time of progressing into single night lays.

I'm p!ssed off because i can tell that my desperation is interfering with my game and girls can sense it on me that i'm not getting any action. Its a vicious cycle, and it comes in bursts. When you're getting laid, it's easy because girls can smell it on you that you are loved by the girls and they want to get on you. When you're not, girls can tell you're desperate.

I'm really trying not to be outcome dependent and trying to rationalize that "don't worry, its about improving yourself rather than getting laid" or "it's winter and its cold and sh!tty and everyone is depressed, once it's spring, you and everyone else will be so pumped that it'll be easy". stuff like that. but i'm getting extremely lonely and fvcking p!ssed off. none of these girls are giving me the time of day.

That being said. I dont do much of any day game at all. I guess my rationale is this: the mystery method and much of the other pickup material is great. BUT it is based on the idea that you are in a large, anonymous city, where you dont know many people. In my mind, if i were to start cold approaching girls and trying to pick them up during the day, college is such a social environment, and everyone is a friend of a friend, that word would get around eventually and i would be labelled as a creep. In addition, girls dont trust "randoms" and in college are much more likely to hook up with a guy that has mutual friends with them.

Honestly, i'm just rambling and i need to get this off my chest because this is the only place i can do so. If you want to either ignore me or call me a fvcking pvssy or whatever, i competely understand. I'm just pissed because my friends and co-workers see me talking to these girls and getting phone numbers and calling me a player and stuff when i'm probably more celibate than they are. I NEED HELP FROM YOU GUYS.

I CAN TAKE THE HARD LOVE. Tell me to suck it up if thats what i need. Just please give me some constructive advice. Should i be attempting more cold approaches in places like coffee shops or TJMaxx or whatever? How can I turn these number from my nights out at the bar and parties into legitimate dates and fvcks? Like i said, the most difficult part of it all is that i have no friends to go out and party with and wing me. They either dont drink or have graduated and moved on. I've been trying to meet new people but it's hard.

Be glad you have had a girlfriend before and been laid by a hottie, that should give you validation confidence, I bet you did this before 25

 

[gravityeyelids]

Be glad you have had a girlfriend before and been laid by a hottie, that should give you validation confidence, I bet you did this before 25

Yea i'm 23. and not to play the numbers game but i've slept with probably about 7 girls, most of which were hot, i've fooled around dozens and dozens of times (i had performance anxiety for a while which is why i failed to push for the lay so many times) . That's part of the reason why i'm so frustrated. I'm confident in my seduction and sexual skills. I have the validation to know that if i can get a girl alone and hanging out with me i can seduce her with no problem and get her to have a great time with me. It's almost like trying to get a job. I know i have the qualifications and i'm better than all the applicants; i just can't get my godamn foot in the door.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Yea i'm 23. and not to play the numbers game but i've slept with probably about 7 girls, most of which were hot, i've fooled around dozens and dozens of times. That's part of the reason why i'm so frustrated. I'm confident in my seduction and sexual skills. I have the validation to know that if i can get a girl alone and hanging out with me i can seduce her with no problem and get her to have a great time with me. It's almost like trying to get a job. I know i have the qualifications and i'm better than all the applicants; i just can't get my godamn foot in the door.

Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, unfortunately it hasn't happened to me yet, I've only been with one girl and it was FWB, that's how I lost my virginity at age 25, but she wasn't that good looking but I was getting desperate so I decided to lower my standards

 

[abe0]

You are right about women sensing desperation or getting laid. I think you need to stop trying so hard. Be yourself and take a deep breath.....Abe

 

[DragonBlood]

I dont do much of any day game at all. [...] it is based on the idea that you are in a large, anonymous city, where you dont know many people. In my mind, if i were to start cold approaching girls and trying to pick them up during the day, college is such a social environment, and everyone is a friend of a friend, that word would get around eventually and i would be labelled as a creep. In addition, girls dont trust "randoms" and in college are much more likely to hook up with a guy that has mutual friends with them.

i just freak out a little bit inside because i'm on a college campus constantly surrounded by ridiculously attractive girls and i feel like every time i dont talk to one, it's a missed opportunity and since i only have like a year and a half in college left, i want to make the most of it.

Ok, seeing as Im on a campus for about another two years I definitely feel where your coming from, also I completely agree that college girls focus on guys ALREADY in their social circle. This is a huge disappointment/disadvantage for me as there are so many hot chicks around and they prefer AFCs. Makes you think for sure.


I wish I had an easy answer for you but Im definitely struggling to apply 'DJ day game' to the college scene. But anyway heres my thoughts:

1. First of all there is a clear scarcity mentality driving your thinking. "since i only have like a year and a half in college left, i want to make the most of it." Somewhere along the way you believed that only hot girls can be found while your in college. This isnt true AT ALL. Stop worrying about making the most of college its messing with your head man. Just go around one of the big shopping centers on a busy day and you will probably open your eyes.

2. Next thing, and most obvious, you have to lower your standards. All the top girls already have boyfriends. You need the experience and openings into new social circles. Your past is messing with your game too. Social proof from any girl HB5 or otherwise will still make you vastly more magnetic and less desperate.

3. If we are talking about social circles here, Have you considered joining some of the college clubs or gym?

4. Finally take a look at this thread. Its all about college day game and from my perspective the realities of it. http://sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212276

Seeing as you are from the US and Im pretty sure Smooth is as well you should see far better results than I do on college day game around this time of year. Btw, I totally agree on the reputation thing getting around but I would still like you to do at least 10 cold approaches on campus and then tell me your not getting results.


Best of luck bro, Im feeling your story it really stuck home. College game is no street game that is for sure. But it can be done.