Desire more than sex?

[Sobliminal]

After reading many of these post, what determines an Alpha can be a bit misconstrued, myself? I've simplified the definition down to "Someone who knows what they want, and knows how to get it." With that being said it does seem as if it is a bit more of a PUA community, assuming all men's goals are simply sex. But here is where my problem lies; what if you desire more than sex? To put this into more practical terms, I know how to get the girl I want to have sex with me, that's not my issue in the slightest. What I want, is the girl I want to desire to be with me. In terms of a female she is rather Alpha, extremely ambitious, well educated, and has more desire to play permiscuous and chase her goals than to be tied down in a relationship. I played her game for far too long before I learned and decided to "flip the script", and now sex is being thrown at me with more desire than I can handle. With all that being said, sex is the least of my worries entirely, what I truly desire is a relationship, to develop my life with this woman as a companion. ONEitis aside, it is my own desire, and I'm at wits end at how to show this to a woman without coming off as beta. To refute her sexual attempts because my own desire is to make something more out of our relationship. I'm just unsure how to approach this, and any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

 

[Zion]

You don't force a great relationship much like you don't force a great friendship. Things either converge there naturally, or they don't.
She may be a high quality woman, but she's not unique in any way shape or form.

And yes, an "alpha" does go for what he wants. You want a relationship, so go get one. But don't rationalize doing it with her.

 

[Sobliminal]

You don't force a great relationship much like you don't force a great friendship. Things either converge there naturally, or they don't.
She may be a high quality woman, but she's not unique in any way shape or form.

And yes, an "alpha" does go for what he wants. You want a relationship, so go get one. But don't rationalize doing it with her.

That's where I struggle, I've tried many flavors and varieties of women, but to claim a woman isn't unique is like claiming You or I are not unique. Simply put, they're like snowflakes, and rationalizing with the evidence of DNA and enviromental factors, everyone is different. It's not the problem with forcing the relationship, compatibility is rather alarming between us two, the problem lies with creating the desire to add me on her list of future objectives.

 

[Zion]

That's where I struggle, I've tried many flavors and varieties of women, but to claim a woman isn't unique is like claiming You or I are not unique. Simply put, they're like snowflakes, and rationalizing with the evidence of DNA and enviromental factors, everyone is different. It's not the problem with forcing the relationship, compatibility is rather alarming between us two, the problem lies with creating the desire to add me on her list of future objectives.

If you wanna make that analogy then yes, they're like snowflakes, but none of them is a special one. We may be unique on a biological scale, but when you want a woman in your life you don't look for DNA traits, you look for character traits, physical traits, etc. Those are not unique.

You may be compatible on small or even medium scale aspects, but if you want a relationship and she doesn't, that's pretty much a deal breaker. Like I said, you can't force a healthy relationship.

 

[MOTU]

. It's not the problem with forcing the relationship, compatibility is rather alarming between us two, the problem lies with creating the desire to add me on her list of future objectives.

Athol Kay is fond of saying "you can't negotiate desire". That's not to say you can't make your self more - or less- desirable. But ultimately, her desire to stay with you long term needs to come from within her.

I understand wanting a real relationship. That's my preferred state too. I don't mind being alone - but I also value the intimacy that comes from a solid LTR.

But don't let her smell that sh!t on you. She needs to feel like she is caving the tiger, winning a prize. As Pook says, no one understands the bird that flies freely into the cage.

 

[odysseus005]

So, she is throwing herself at you sexually and you are denying her?

 

[AttackFormation]

If she's initiating sex with you then you are already in a budding relationship in her view and it's just a matter of time until she tries to formalise it.