Definition of "chemistry"?

[wysiwyg6000]

I just got back from a 2 hour long coffee date that overall went fluidly, but in the end, I got the blurb of "you're a great guy, but I don't feel like I have chemistry with you." I'm a little confused here, but, if you can engage someone in a 2 hour long conversation that basically had no silence whatsoever, wouldn't that be considered chemistry? Could it be possible she wasn't physically attracted because I'm skinny?

On a side note, I really would like to stay friends with this girl just so I can basically use her to get to some of her friends...any sugguestions on how I could pull something like that off? I just basically feel like she basically told me to go fvck myself and that I never want to see you again.

 

[The TallOne]

She didn't feel the attraction needed... there was no "chemistry", no emotional attraction.

Remember.. women are emotional beings, if they don't FEEL anything, they don't think its right..... and won't pursue anything.

Also, I don't think she told you to GFOAD. She looked to be somewhat honest.. now, ask her next time if you can meet some of her friends.

If she hesitates ,then she isn't a real friend herself, and move on.

 

[Tazman]

"Sexual" chemistry is what I think she was referring to, but as you know, no one usually just comes out and says it. Most people use ambiguous words like "chemistry." I think managing a friendship with her would be a good idea so you can network through her. As long as you don't mind being an emotional tampon, you may be able to pull it off.

 

[wysiwyg6000]

Originally posted by The TallOne
She didn't feel the attraction needed... there was no "chemistry", no emotional attraction.

Remember.. women are emotional beings, if they don't FEEL anything, they don't think its right..... and won't pursue anything.

Also, I don't think she told you to GFOAD. She looked to be somewhat honest.. now, ask her next time if you can meet some of her friends.

If she hesitates ,then she isn't a real friend herself, and move on.

as far as attraction is concerned, what creates it? what could I have done that would've created it? everyone always keeps this vague and I really want to know how to do this because quite frankly I'm getting killed here. This was a (seemingly) great woman and I feel like I had her up until this point, so I must've messed up somewhere. She was obviously interested enough to meet me.

 

[The TallOne]

Originally posted by wysiwyg6000
as far as attraction is concerned, what creates it? what could I have done that would've created it? everyone always keeps this vague and I really want to know how to do this because quite frankly I'm getting killed here. This was a (seemingly) great woman and I feel like I had her up until this point, so I must've messed up somewhere. She was obviously interested enough to meet me.

What creates attraction? Sexual tension.

What creates sexual tension? Flirting for one.... keeping her on her toes, being witty etc.

She could have been interested to meet you, as a friend also. There was obviously no flirting going on..

Girls love to be teased, remember when you were a kid and you teased girls because of cooties and such?

Well, drop the cooties bit.. and tease them on other issues.

Just don't come across as an ass doing it.

 

[tmpgstx]

wysiwyg - did she see you prior to meeting you? Maybe only in a picture? If she had not seen you before meeting you (or at least in person once) then it is likely that there was no physical attraction - nor would there ever be is what she's telling you. Don't take it personally though.

 

[h2o]

it doesn't matter if you talked for 10hrs (only a bigger waste of time)

touch her, tease her, be a flirt. that's how you make connections. long moments of eye contact and smiling. tickle her. stuff like that. get her warmed up to you.

of course, there may not always be chemistry, but these things can help heat things up.

hug her when you first greet her, just get the touch thing going very early on. it's a big one.

 

[Tazman]

From what I've seen and experienced, there's always "some" attraction to begin with if a woman is interested. If she doesn't find you sexually appealing no amount of flirting and charm is going to sway her, unless she feels she has no other options.