Dealing with challenges from other men...

[FM 3321]

One of my good friends is a pretty loud and outspoken guy and over the weekend we were at a get together and I was noticing interactions and things like that. I noticed that in a loud joking way he'd tell people "shut the fukk up." For example this guy was trying to tell a joke and my frined responded mid sentence, "shut the fukk up." Now I don't remember how people responded exactlpy but some laughted or diffused it in another way.

I was thinking, OK, if I was here with my girl, I started talking and he or someone else said "shut the fukk up" and I don't know how to take it, it makes me look like the lesser person.

Also the other thing I noticed was that we were all sitting on couches and this so called beta male took my frineds seat when he got up to get something. Upon my frined returning he told the guy, "up, up.....get out of my seat." The other guy tried to resist but failed and again I was thinking....hmm, what if I was in that situation? How would I respond to a challenge like that?

I would think to say to my frined "Hey, can you not act like that towards me if I'm around other people?" because it's just part of his personality to jokingly put people down.

This is something I'd like to work on for myself so if you guys have any ideas or input I'd appreciate it.

 

[C00L]

sounds like a hater. people like this are just douchebags.

If someone told me to stfu while i was speaking id tell them to stfu or get *****slapped then continue on.

if i steal someone seat and they ask for it back ill give them some sh1t and give it back because im a nice guy but if someone tests and makes it a serious thing i will knock their ****ing block off

 

[MacDiddy]

does this "friend" get any Pu$$y?

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
does this "friend" get any Pu$$y?

Yeah, he's married.

 

[MacDiddy]

Well then, he's using the security of his marriage to be an AMOG..

Standard AMOG tactics would apply... could be some consequences for the dynamics of your friendship..

 

[Bill]

You can be an alpha male without being an complete uncivilized arsehole; it'll work for him until the day he meets a more uncivilized/violent arsehole than him.

Those people only learn their with a nice kick in the balls. Seriously.
Peace.

-Bill

 

[Dr Box]

Tell him to pull his F#$%ing head in.
He is not getting pu$$y he is married there is a difference, If someone tried to outer alpha me by telling me to stfu he would cop verbal abuse for the rest of the time he was around, and evey time he started to talk I would cut him off.

As far as the chair thing goes if your that weak willed that you will give him back his chair then that is your issue.

 

[englishman]

Its a tough one, your at a party enjoying yourself and some d!ck wants to be an as$hole about nothing.......so what do u do? in the past I would have smacked them in the head, In fact it used to bug me so much if I didnt say something back that I would be knotted up for days about it....... I guess you just gotta say something, but it doesnt always have to put him down and cause a fight....... even something like "hey bill come on man, why cut me off in the middle of a sentence? that way hes gotta answer u, as opposed to "hey Bill, u STFU....in which case it just escalates sh1t..... one thing ive figured as ive got older is, just cause someone has waved a red rag in your face, dont mean you have to respond to them in the way that leads you were you dont want to go........its not cowardice, its more street smarts.....

 

[MacDiddy]

I started nexting some of my undesirable so called "Friends" a while ago since I've developed an intolerance to disrespect and since my time is money anyway.

I'll only attend functions when I see that it has value both in a social and economic sense. Otherwise its not worth my time.

I keep a small circle of guy friends that I'm comfortable with and I'm happy with that. I've had ahole friends call me up to hang but I just snub'em since people never change. They eventually get the message and I've only served to reduce the drama in my life...

 

[Create Reality]

Your friend sounds like a pompous jerk. I bet you never smile at him. So, smile at him. Know why? It will throw him off. He will think something is different even though nothing but your face has changed. When he thinks differently this will cause him to change his behavior and he might...

A) Ignore you the rest of the time.
B) Start acting more respectable.
C) Exhibit more anger.

..Or maybe the smile will have no effect. If you really wanna screw with him (to get him to be a nice guy ) try to get a few good buddies to do this smiling with you. When a few people start coming up and smiling and acting genuinely nice to him, he will know something is up, and it will subconsciously elicit fear from him, because he is no longer in control of his surroundings. And this is how you subdue a jerk.

Do not confuse jerk with an AMOG, they are two very different people.

 

[BrotherAP]

The least angry is the most in control

When in a social setting, you are giving others the gift of your presence.

If one man is rude to you, ignore him

If the entire group is being rude, leave

Do not tolerate this behavior

He tells you "Shut the fvck up" and you don't know how to respond

So act like he didn't say anything

Make him repeat himself

Then, instead of aknowledging him, be dismissive

Say "Hey, Frank, would you mind getting me a _____" (so he'd have to leave and to do it)

It's difficult to describe how to act around rude people who try to make themselves look better by heckling you

But you should always remain civil, and unaffected by there heckling

Be annoyed, maybe slightly angered, but only so far as is necessary to correct the behavior

Get the other people around to agree with you.

Show them that he's being pig headed

Just don't attack him on his level. That's assuming equality.


BrotherAP

 

[LionOne]

My rules for dealing with the AMOG-situations:

First rule: if you stay in the same frame the AMOG started then you are about to loose. This means you assume a new meaning for the situation. So, learn couple good frames you use against AMOGS and become prolific with them.

Second rule: be playful, don't take it seriously or you loose.

Third rule: AMOG-situations are man versus man WITH the audience. Make youself look cool and calibrate according to the audience about how you want to make the other guy to look like.

If I'd get so rudely interrupted by "shut the fukk up" I'd say eg. "(laugh) DAMN you are so uptight tonite MATE! relaaaaaaax man and go have some more beeer" Then continue whatever I were saying. If he interrupts again with some excuse then I'd hold up my hand in a way which tells "Stop" and shake my head in disapproval while saying like "HOLD on honey, we will talk about YOU in a moment". Then I'd continue my story. Point is YOU don't tolerate bad behavior even when others do. This is reality control. If there are girls around as an audience then it's even better.

In the other scenario, if others see you as beta they expect you to behave that way also. Beta with no tools to handle these situations cannot do anything. YOU can. So, tell eg. "heyyy honeyy, won't you sit on my lap, pleeaaase. what, no? damn b1tch, u disappointed me, AGAIN!" etc. go on with your OWN frame..

Well, if you are a cool guy in the first place other guys won't give sh1t like that. When they do, they test you at the same time (subconsciously) to see if they can have control over you. Throwing sh1t, even when masked friendly, indicates lack of respect. You earn your respect by not taking any sh1t and turning it back by reframing it while maintaining your playful attitude.

 

[FM 3321]

That was a good analysis LionOne. It is man vs. man WITH audience.

 

[DJ4Real]

The key is to not over-react. When another male comes over to "cut you off," be calm about his disrespects and say something ****y and funny, like "damn, it's hot over here. Is the heat on? Oh no wait, that guy opened his mouth, that's what it is. Let's move before his breath gives us a "free" tan."

 

[dipset_mafia]

alpha alpha

ditto