The ace up the sleeve for any single guy looking to get some action on the weekend. When all else fails, this will succeed. But, it never does. Inevitably what happens is a hangover and a phone number from a girl you'll never see again. You swear the interaction went well. You made her laugh, she seemed into you and she willingly gave you her number.
The reality is you were just another guy she didn't know who was trying to get into her pants. You weren't clever and probably weren't as funny as you thought, which is evident by the fact she didn't respond to your text two days later. If all getting laid required was a witty line in a crowded bar on a Saturday night, guys across the land would be scoring more than James Bond. But this isn't a movie, and you're not James Bond.
The one attribute men are told they must possess is confidence. But nobody really defines what confidence is, or how to apply this in the night life, or with women in general. Confidence is a very broad word that overlaps in many categories in relating to women. It's how you carry yourself. It's what you say, or didn't say. How you did, or didn't do something. Your body language, voice inflection, style, mentality, decisiveness, defensiveness, choices, actions, reactions, etc. That word can't be confined and contained or pinned down. Confidence is almost an enigma. There isn't a magical formula that you can follow to have every interaction with women turn out in your favor. It's just not that simple.
There are however, things you can do to greatly boost your odds, if you understand on a fundamental level how to socialize and convey value the correct way, which is in stark contrast to how guys have been told in the past.
The vast majority of women have no problems meeting men. No big surprise there. But re-read that sentence again. Let it sink in. Read it a couple times if you have to. Once you understand that, you are on the road to realizing the path you must take in order to succeed with women. They don't need to sit in bars on the weekends to meet guys, which is supported by the fact that almost every establishment is sausage fest central during that time.
When you walked your horny self into a bar or club on the weekend looking for a hookup, you failed. Before you even opened your mouth. Before you even stepped foot in the joint. You skipped all the necessary steps that are required before getting into a woman's pants. So, what went wrong?
First of all, women want to hook up with guys that they KNOW. Show me a guy that doesn't get women, and I'll show you a guy that doesn't know any women. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The guy who is succeeding with women is walking into a bar with a woman he ALREADY KNOWS. He isn't skipping steps, he isn't cutting corners. He understands at a core level how to properly socialize and court women in a way that works to his advantage.
When a woman knows you, they trust you. When they trust you, they are much less likely to flake. When they are less likely to flake, they are more likely to go back to your place. Do you see where I'm going with this? Their guard is down, they're comfortable, they're safe. They know you're not some nutcase (and if you are, hopefully you've disguised it).
The goal here is penetrate a woman. Literally and figuratively. You have to get to KNOW a woman:
1.) Open
2.) Conversate
3.) Trust
4.) Open
5.) Conversate
6.) Trust
7.) Open
8.) Conversate
9.) Trust
10.) BANG
These ten steps take place over the course of many interactions. Notice banging is at the end. It's not in the beginning, or the middle. It's at the END. It's the culmination on how you've interacted with her based on the approach that was taken with a final goal in mind. It's how men have banged friends, girlfriends, fiances, wives, mistresses, etc. They weren't aware of it, but that was the structure and directive on a subconscious level.
If you KNOW a woman, you have a chance of SLEEPING with a woman. The problem is most men don't make it to step #3. Usually, this is because they've tried to follow it with step #10. And as I mentioned, there's no cutting corners with women. If you want to bang chicks, especially hot ones, you have to put the effort in. There's no free lunch.
Most women who are dating men, have met them through work, school, friends, etc. In other words, through a progressive series of conversations and interactions that led them to courtship.
Now that this has been established, what approach should be taken? Instead of being the stranger they don't know, you want to become the fun guy they do know. Again, Rome wasn't built in a day. You can't establish and convey your trustworthiness in a five minute conversation. But, you can use that interaction to set up another interaction, which will get you closer to step #10. You rinse and repeat these steps until you get there. And that's going to vary in duration, depending on the girl's personality. Basically, you want to keep the fish on the line!
The bar can be used effectively, if utilized correctly. It's just a different setting in which to do it. You want to separate yourself from the random horny guy looking for a piece of action, to a cool guy who goes with the flow and isn't sweating women.
You want to avoid looking desperate. And this goes way beyond what words are chosen during a conversation. "Desperation", much like the aforementioned "confidence", applies very broadly. Showing up on a weekend at 10 p.m. to your local watering hole doesn't convey confidence. It shows desperation. Your words and anything after is futile. You are basically communicating to a woman that you had no plans, you are lonely, and as a last ditch effort are showing up and hoping to get lucky surrounded in a sea of other men in the very same situation. There's nothing intriguing or appealing to a woman under those circumstances.
Historically, there's been two categories: Day game, and night game. Gentlemen, I'm going to introduce a third member to this trifecta: "After work game." You're not trying to overly impress with your words. Your confidence and value is portrayed through the setting. You're Mr. Cool. Another day in the books.
A much better option is showing up during the week for happy hour at your local Tex-Mex restaurant. This swings the social value back in your favor. For starters, women love sh!tty after work bar and grills, and sipping on a ****tail at 5 p.m. is perfectly acceptable, because it usually indicates you have a JOB, and are unwinding after a long day. No woman is going to feel pressured that you're trying to sleep with her, unless you get schnockered for 6 hours and snipe the stragglers at 11 p.m., which would completely ruin the social value you had established. On the off chance you are unemployed, grab that white oxford button-up, but loosen the collar so it looks like you accomplished a lot throughout the course of the day, and decided to take your disgruntlement out on that lime margarita, much to your boss's chagrin. It makes you look important.
Body language: Check your phone sparingly. It comes across as nervous fidgeting. Keep your texts to a MINIMUM. Don't be the guy that isn't sure of himself and has to bury himself in his phone to act like he's preoccupied because he isn't comfortable in his own skin. A much better alternative is to be ON the phone with someone. It shows you know people and have friends, which is a good thing. I would also hope it conveys you are somewhat articulate, unless you have a bad speech impediment. In that case, texting may be the better alternative.
Don't be afraid to take up some space. Remember, it's been a long day and you're rewarding yourself with a ****tail. Feel free to put both hands up behind your head, interlacing your fingers. This is dominant posture. Don't scan the room to see who's watching you do it, that's low value.
Conversation: You should primarily be conversing with the bartender. This person has the most social value of any person in the place. If anyone wants a drink, it goes through them. They know the majority of their clientele (specifically the women you're eventually trying to pick up). Being able to hold a decent conversation with bartenders is crucial, because you are associating yourself with people who have value, and in turn creating value for yourself. They are hired because they're outgoing, talkative, and charming. If you can keep pace with them, you're doing something right.
Demeanor: Open. Friendly. Don't forget to smile.
TIP: Go to Google Maps and hit up the bars within a mile radius of the local hospitals. You'll thank me when you realize it's the hot spot where all the cute single nurses do their day drinking.
There's a lot more to cover...
The reality is you were just another guy she didn't know who was trying to get into her pants. You weren't clever and probably weren't as funny as you thought, which is evident by the fact she didn't respond to your text two days later. If all getting laid required was a witty line in a crowded bar on a Saturday night, guys across the land would be scoring more than James Bond. But this isn't a movie, and you're not James Bond.
The one attribute men are told they must possess is confidence. But nobody really defines what confidence is, or how to apply this in the night life, or with women in general. Confidence is a very broad word that overlaps in many categories in relating to women. It's how you carry yourself. It's what you say, or didn't say. How you did, or didn't do something. Your body language, voice inflection, style, mentality, decisiveness, defensiveness, choices, actions, reactions, etc. That word can't be confined and contained or pinned down. Confidence is almost an enigma. There isn't a magical formula that you can follow to have every interaction with women turn out in your favor. It's just not that simple.
There are however, things you can do to greatly boost your odds, if you understand on a fundamental level how to socialize and convey value the correct way, which is in stark contrast to how guys have been told in the past.
The vast majority of women have no problems meeting men. No big surprise there. But re-read that sentence again. Let it sink in. Read it a couple times if you have to. Once you understand that, you are on the road to realizing the path you must take in order to succeed with women. They don't need to sit in bars on the weekends to meet guys, which is supported by the fact that almost every establishment is sausage fest central during that time.
When you walked your horny self into a bar or club on the weekend looking for a hookup, you failed. Before you even opened your mouth. Before you even stepped foot in the joint. You skipped all the necessary steps that are required before getting into a woman's pants. So, what went wrong?
First of all, women want to hook up with guys that they KNOW. Show me a guy that doesn't get women, and I'll show you a guy that doesn't know any women. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The guy who is succeeding with women is walking into a bar with a woman he ALREADY KNOWS. He isn't skipping steps, he isn't cutting corners. He understands at a core level how to properly socialize and court women in a way that works to his advantage.
When a woman knows you, they trust you. When they trust you, they are much less likely to flake. When they are less likely to flake, they are more likely to go back to your place. Do you see where I'm going with this? Their guard is down, they're comfortable, they're safe. They know you're not some nutcase (and if you are, hopefully you've disguised it).
The goal here is penetrate a woman. Literally and figuratively. You have to get to KNOW a woman:
1.) Open
2.) Conversate
3.) Trust
4.) Open
5.) Conversate
6.) Trust
7.) Open
8.) Conversate
9.) Trust
10.) BANG
These ten steps take place over the course of many interactions. Notice banging is at the end. It's not in the beginning, or the middle. It's at the END. It's the culmination on how you've interacted with her based on the approach that was taken with a final goal in mind. It's how men have banged friends, girlfriends, fiances, wives, mistresses, etc. They weren't aware of it, but that was the structure and directive on a subconscious level.
If you KNOW a woman, you have a chance of SLEEPING with a woman. The problem is most men don't make it to step #3. Usually, this is because they've tried to follow it with step #10. And as I mentioned, there's no cutting corners with women. If you want to bang chicks, especially hot ones, you have to put the effort in. There's no free lunch.
Most women who are dating men, have met them through work, school, friends, etc. In other words, through a progressive series of conversations and interactions that led them to courtship.
Now that this has been established, what approach should be taken? Instead of being the stranger they don't know, you want to become the fun guy they do know. Again, Rome wasn't built in a day. You can't establish and convey your trustworthiness in a five minute conversation. But, you can use that interaction to set up another interaction, which will get you closer to step #10. You rinse and repeat these steps until you get there. And that's going to vary in duration, depending on the girl's personality. Basically, you want to keep the fish on the line!
The bar can be used effectively, if utilized correctly. It's just a different setting in which to do it. You want to separate yourself from the random horny guy looking for a piece of action, to a cool guy who goes with the flow and isn't sweating women.
You want to avoid looking desperate. And this goes way beyond what words are chosen during a conversation. "Desperation", much like the aforementioned "confidence", applies very broadly. Showing up on a weekend at 10 p.m. to your local watering hole doesn't convey confidence. It shows desperation. Your words and anything after is futile. You are basically communicating to a woman that you had no plans, you are lonely, and as a last ditch effort are showing up and hoping to get lucky surrounded in a sea of other men in the very same situation. There's nothing intriguing or appealing to a woman under those circumstances.
Historically, there's been two categories: Day game, and night game. Gentlemen, I'm going to introduce a third member to this trifecta: "After work game." You're not trying to overly impress with your words. Your confidence and value is portrayed through the setting. You're Mr. Cool. Another day in the books.
A much better option is showing up during the week for happy hour at your local Tex-Mex restaurant. This swings the social value back in your favor. For starters, women love sh!tty after work bar and grills, and sipping on a ****tail at 5 p.m. is perfectly acceptable, because it usually indicates you have a JOB, and are unwinding after a long day. No woman is going to feel pressured that you're trying to sleep with her, unless you get schnockered for 6 hours and snipe the stragglers at 11 p.m., which would completely ruin the social value you had established. On the off chance you are unemployed, grab that white oxford button-up, but loosen the collar so it looks like you accomplished a lot throughout the course of the day, and decided to take your disgruntlement out on that lime margarita, much to your boss's chagrin. It makes you look important.
Body language: Check your phone sparingly. It comes across as nervous fidgeting. Keep your texts to a MINIMUM. Don't be the guy that isn't sure of himself and has to bury himself in his phone to act like he's preoccupied because he isn't comfortable in his own skin. A much better alternative is to be ON the phone with someone. It shows you know people and have friends, which is a good thing. I would also hope it conveys you are somewhat articulate, unless you have a bad speech impediment. In that case, texting may be the better alternative.
Don't be afraid to take up some space. Remember, it's been a long day and you're rewarding yourself with a ****tail. Feel free to put both hands up behind your head, interlacing your fingers. This is dominant posture. Don't scan the room to see who's watching you do it, that's low value.
Conversation: You should primarily be conversing with the bartender. This person has the most social value of any person in the place. If anyone wants a drink, it goes through them. They know the majority of their clientele (specifically the women you're eventually trying to pick up). Being able to hold a decent conversation with bartenders is crucial, because you are associating yourself with people who have value, and in turn creating value for yourself. They are hired because they're outgoing, talkative, and charming. If you can keep pace with them, you're doing something right.
Demeanor: Open. Friendly. Don't forget to smile.
TIP: Go to Google Maps and hit up the bars within a mile radius of the local hospitals. You'll thank me when you realize it's the hot spot where all the cute single nurses do their day drinking.
There's a lot more to cover...
