Date Report (Hardly)

[TekPh0bia]

Synopsis: Girl "winks" at me on some personals site, I reply back, we spend a few hours talking on AIM and eventually set a date to meet. She lives about 40 miles from here, so I agreed to meet her up there. Sad to say, it was the typical cliche'd date; dinner and a movie -- only it was reversed, movie and dinner.

Sitting through the movie (Happy Feet; cute movie), I notice she laughs at the stupidest things. Ok, she laughs at non-funny scenes. No one else was laughing, but she was. Movies aren't the best time to talk.

(Need another glass of wine...)

Since I have a boost leak, I asked to ride with her to the restaurant. Naturally, that's when conversation should take place. She could literally talk for hours and hours. However, there were moments she'd ask a question and I would give an answer. Of course, I didn't elaborate.

At one point, she was talking about how the drive up to WA to see her parents was an enlightening experience...."It gave me a chance to figure out where I want to be...where I want to go." So, I thought, "great, I'll run with that."

I ask her, "So...where do you want to be?" She answers, "surprisingly here [Oregon]...it's taken some getting used to, but I'm liking it." She elaborated more than that, of course. I follow up with, "You know where you want to be....where do you want to go?" She smiled real big, and started to say, "You're...." and then went on about travel, etc. Perhaps she was impressed with my listening skills.

There were awkward moments, because it was obviously my turn to talk...but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to say. She vented her frustration..."I wanted to get you to talk more..." I copped out with, "sorry...i'm a little shy."

Since we sat across from eachother, there was no (atleast I thought) opportunity for kino. I couldn't think of a way to touch her without it being contrived.

We finally leave the restaurant and I notice her tires are low..I tell her, "let's go find a gas station..." She asked, "are you going to put air in my tires? I don't know how..." "Well, I guess I'll have to show you." I *thought* it would be a good kino opportunity...but well...

Because this is a re-occurring sequence for me (not talking..girl losing interest), I spent the drive home with suicidial thoughts. Now, I'm working on polishing off this bottle of wine. Can't it just...END?

In retrospect, I spent too much time thinking, "what would [DJ name] do right now?" Too much thinking is self-destructive in the long-run.

Here's to hoping I don't wake up tomorrow...

 

[SamePendo]

Spin much more plates.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...In retrospect, I spent too much time thinking, "what would [DJ name] do right now?" Too much thinking is self-destructive in the long-run....

You should have talked about why the two of you were interested in one another. What was it about her profile that made you want to go out with her? It was more than just because she sent you a wink, right?

The one good thing is that you didn't spend a bunch of time with emails an IMs. The thing is that when you meet you need to have some idea what you are going to talk about, leaving it up to a movie as the major entertainment of the evening won't benefit you what so ever, you're just avoiding the inevitable.

A woman isn't going to choose to see you for an extended period of time just because you go to a movie, anybody can take her to a movie. Next time make more of an effort to figure out who you are going out with and use the date as an opportunity to get more detail about those things.

 

[Charm]

I really like Francisco^s advice here. He mentions having a gameplan about SOME of the things you two can talk about. There is no need for a script, but making a list of things you are interested in talking about with her before you go out might actually help you. Another way of remebering the list is to make an ABC list.

A: Airplane Trips
B: Borat
C: Christmas
D: Diamonds
E: Etc (LOL)

Talking about why you two are interested in one another is a great conversation piece that keeps things OUT OF Friendzone.

 

[TekPh0bia]

Thanks for the insight, guys.

I was really bummed last night, to be honest. It wasn't her, it was was me.

It seemed like I was asking questions. I would listen to her talk, pick out details and work with them. Perhaps there was too much listening and not enough talking.

Also, the idea of talking about WHY you're interested in them is great. Helps steer things down the road of romance instead of friendship.

I think I'll work on telling myself stories; add some emotion, excitement to conversation

Wonder if she'll let me make it up to her....

Thanks again gents!

 

[Charm]

Dont think about making anything up to her. Just be yourself and go out next time with a positive attitude. REMEMBER TO smile when you talk. This isnt a business meeting.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Talking about why you two are interested in one another is a great conversation piece that keeps things OUT OF Friendzone.

EXACTLY!!! :rockon:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Thanks for the insight, guys.

I was really bummed last night, to be honest. It wasn't her, it was was me...

There's nothing wrong with postponing the meeting if you aren't up to it. Just let them know that you want to be at 100% to show then a good time. If she isn't just looking for a free meal she'll appreciate it.

 

[TekPh0bia]

There's nothing wrong with postponing the meeting if you aren't up to it. Just let them know that you want to be at 100% to show then a good time. If she isn't just looking for a free meal she'll appreciate it.

To clarify, I was bummed AFTER the meeting. I went in feeling good, confident, but when she did 98% of the talking and occassionaly asked me a question, I started to feel alpha.

Just need to socialize more.

 

[Zero Hero]

What you need to do is go on lots and lots of dates. You sound very inexperienced. It's not that you can't hold a conversation. It's that you are nervous. Do some hardcore online dating with myspace, craigslist, and any dating site you can find.

 

[TekPh0bia]

What you need to do is go on lots and lots of dates. You sound very inexperienced. It's not that you can't hold a conversation. It's that you are nervous. Do some hardcore online dating with myspace, craigslist, and any dating site you can find.

I think that sums it up. Granted, I've had relationships, but they've been long-term, so the whole dating thing is kinda new.

Note to self: STOP FVCKIN THINKING SO MUCH!

Seacrest out...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

To clarify, I was bummed AFTER the meeting. I went in feeling good, confident, but when she did 98% of the talking and occassionaly asked me a question, I started to feel alpha.

Just need to socialize more.

Do your homework before the date, understand who you are meeting and what they are interested in. Whatever you do, don't just go out and do the same thing over and over again if it's not working for you. Also, understand that being being Alpha doesn't necessarily mean letting someone else take control of the conversation or the date.

 

[Cod3r]

You just sound boring... no offense, work on that first

Were you even interested in her sexually or anything ?? Sounds to me like you could care less than a fvck about her, when i'm interested in someone I can't stop talking (used to be an obstacle, i'd talk myself right out of my own game) ask yourself whether she was what you want... cuz something is tellin me she just wasn't for you and u were tryna force it...


-Cod3r