dark mood...(Last thread)

[dark.spirit]

This website only gave me trouble...

Last year I wrote a few things on this forum and I end regreting it deeply...


I was interested in a girl and I wrote about it...

I know I could have asked advice to my father but I think his brain has the size of a wallnut...besides, Im not interested in having long conversations with him...(we dont get along very well ).

This was what happened to me: someone find out what I wrote on this forum and now almost all the town where I live knows about it

Im very popular on this bloody place because I used to run all the time and sometimes I get very nervous...

Its not easy to control this nervous energy and because
sometimes I cant do it they think Im crazy!

What went wrong is that she too find out the things I wrote and now she thinks Im a player...

To make things better I wrote a few stupid things about fighting and now sometimes it seems like some of them want to have a piece of you to see how good you are at fighting!

I know nothing about fighting...I only like martial arts and I read about it because I like art...and martial arts are an art in itself: an art expressed in movement, movement this that happens to be made with fighting moves

The other reason for my interest in martial arts is because guys stronger than me seem to have inclination to allways pick on me for no reason at all! I think they are all cowards... they only pick on me because Im skinny and smaller and they know Im not as strong as they are: It gives me no choice but to learn how to defend myself...I dont want to fight but I dont want to get beaten either...

If they are going to beat me up I have to be prepared to do something about it. I must defend myself...still I prefer to run away than to fight... fighting is for stupid people...

Now Im feeling humiliated, but deep inside I know that I deserve it: I wrote something about girls having no chance with me but the truth is that at the time I didnt even deserved a chance with them. And I think they were never interested on me.They were just being nice. Its truth that thei're not my type, but Im not thei're type either...(I was just trying to boost my own ego)

In the end I was the cause of everything bad that happened to me. Sometimes I still hear people making coments and laughing of me whenever I go! Even in the streets! I would like to hide myself in a hole for a long time...I wonder how long its going to take to the end off it...

And even worst... I think she is not interested...she looked hard at me once because I invade her personal space, forcing eye contact!

By coincidence they find out another thread that I wrote about it in other website, sometime ago...humiliating!

I always learn things the hard way...



IM VERY ANGRY WITH MYSELF !!!


I didnt want to came here anymore but I had to write this last thread:

I expect you have learnt something with my experience. Learning tricks are not the way to go.

The first word that I wrote was the beggining of a nightmare...
The last word is going to be the end of it...



PS: (I lost the girl...)





____________________________________________________

Sometimes you have to go down...to go up...(Dark Paul)

 

[WORKEROUTER]

you know what you need?

ballz

 

[MetalFortress]

5 cents says this thread is a joke...

 

[squirrels]

Dude, shut up. If all you learned here is "tricks," then your time here was a waste anyway and you're better off leaving.

If you had learned ANYTHING on here, it's that you DON'T run from your troubles, you DON'T hide from embarassment, and you DON'T cower in shame. EVER.

You wanna talk about embarassment? LOL...back in my Freshman year of high school I had a crush on this girl, and just having hit puberty, and being the horny bastard I was, I sat down one night and wrote a 17-page erotic story about her (and her sister). I showed it to one or two of my closest friends, the people I thought I could TRUST. I was wrong. The next day it was in print circulating throughout the entire school.

What on Earth should I do?

I stood up and essentially said, "F'in RIGHT I did it." I wasn't proud of it, and still am not to this day, but I'm not a slave to my f*cking pride.

RUN away? No, you WALK away. With your head held high. You look at the jerks and think, "they're loud and obnoxious and angry, I don't want to be like them," but you took the other extreme, you're weak and sensitive and quiet. You think this makes you humble and worldly and brilliant? Hell NO! You're just as foolishly proud as everyone else. Only you've chosen to die in ice instead of fire.

Find some BALANCE in your life. Take control of your goddam emotions and leave the whining to children.

I'll make it simple for you. If you truly believe the words of one or one thousand men have any power to create or change a definition of WHO YOU ARE, then you AREN'T ready for a woman.

And yeah, I lost the girl too. Big deal. "Ooh I lost the girl, what a nightmare, what a star-crossed tragedy!"

If you're anything like I was back then, you've probably been told by no small number of people that "you have no life" or to "get a life." Did you ever stop to think, amidst your foolish pride, that getting a life MIGHT JUST BE A GOOD IDEA and not the blind insult your ego convinced you it was?

Whether you ever post here again or not, I don't care, but it's time to stand up and start acting like a man.

 

[simplyme]

I think, you brought up a big point. People should think twice before they post a story, that makes it obvious, who they are.
I also think, there should be a rule, that nobody is allowed, to use personal data of other people (for example, the real name of the girl he is after) on this board.
Anyway, the less you care about what people think, the less such a thing can hit your reputation. I bet, you become self conscious at least for one second everytime the thing is mentioned. That is the main problem, I think.

 

[Borgia]

Everybody makes mistakes, a sign of the man is how he deals with them


- the choice is yours, how do you want to feel about yourself?