Damn the ethics question

[Ricky]

What would you do in this situation?

One relationship is floundering after a few years, but you haven't pulled the plug on it, as you have mixed feelings about it.

1) You are presented with several other opportunities of women to date.

Do you go for some of the other opportunities? Knowing full well that your current relationship may fail?

Sometimes I feel like I'm letting other good opportunities pass and am fighting a losing battle with my current gf.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

That's what I was going through the last 2 years of my 5 year relationship.

I wouldn't change anything that I did, however, I am glad that it's finally over and I can date any girl I want.

I did cheat a couple times over the year, and that just made me wanna do it more.

She was older than me and I like younger girls, so it boiled down to doing what *I* want and getting what *I* want out of life.

 

[Omega]

Your the only one that can awnser that question man. Do you want to date around or do you want to continue you on?

 

[WaterTiger]

Are YOU trying to make the relationship better?
Is SHE trying to make the realtionship better?
Can you see the realtionship still being a positive thing 5 years from now?

If you answered "no" to any of these questions then you need to break up.

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
Are YOU trying to make the relationship better?
Is SHE trying to make the realtionship better?
Can you see the realtionship still being a positive thing 5 years from now?

If you answered "no" to any of these questions then you need to break up.

Both WaterTiger and R3n3gad3 are right. You haven't provided enough information for us to give you advice on whether or not to break up. You are the only one that knows the answer.

A relationship is something that needs to be worked on from both sides. What is it that makes you have mixed emotions? Have you talked to her about it?
Or is the feeling that you are letting other opportunities slip by stronger? Then maybe you aren't ready to settle for one girl just yet.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Ricky
What would you do in this situation?

One relationship is floundering after a few years, but you haven't pulled the plug on it, as you have mixed feelings about it.

1) You are presented with several other opportunities of women to date.

Do you go for some of the other opportunities? Knowing full well that your current relationship may fail?

Sometimes I feel like I'm letting other good opportunities pass and am fighting a losing battle with my current gf.

Buddy, I feel for you. I was kinda going through this from December onwards.

I tried getting back together with her last December, but it ended up being me doing all the legwork, me giving all the effort. She might as well said out loud, "I want you to kiss my arse and take my crap otherwise there is no hope for us."

She did go so far as to say that she wanted to be wooed. Then I thought to myself, "What, exactly, has this woman done for me in the last year and a half that would actually make me want to woo her?

I don't have the answer, but I'll tell you one thing, the opportunities got too good to pass up for me, and you only live once, as they say. So why deny yourself on account of a woman you have a crap relationship with?

I'm being selfish for the first time in my life and I'm loving it. But, I have to admit, I struggle with my conscience from time to time. Then I tell myself, bottom line is, this woman isn't giving me what I need. 7 years I've been with her. On and off. Currently off.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm playing a woman's game, and that is - not letting go of one vine until I get ahold of another.

I realise this site teaches us to play the game, but how in the hell have I started playing the same games that women do?

 

[WaterTiger]

Re: Re: Damn the ethics question

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
"What, exactly, has this woman done for me in the last year and a half that would actually make me want to woo her?

AHHHHHHHHH! There's the $280,000 dollar question! A relationship is a partnership. Just because she's sleeping with you doesn't mean YOU have to do all the work. Does she "woo" you back? Does she at least act grateful and appreciate your efforts? Or does she act like it's "expected"?

If she isn't making it fun for you to go that extra step....then why are you still with her?

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm playing a woman's game, and that is - not letting go of one vine until I get ahold of another.

I realise this site teaches us to play the game, but how in the hell have I started playing the same games that women do?

There's WISDOM in that game! It means you don't go without!

(Personally, I think it's a neanderthal hold over/genetic memory thing. Women once depended on men for survival. As the skeletons tell us, it was a RARE neanderthal that lived to a ripe old age...like 35. So taking care of your man was a very good thing...and flirting with the big hairy guy two caves down wasn't a bad idea either. If your man got stomped by a woolly mammoth, then you had another guy to bring home a side of bacon.)

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Re: Re: Re: Damn the ethics question

Originally posted by WaterTiger
AHHHHHHHHH! There's the $280,000 dollar question! A relationship is a partnership. Just because she's sleeping with you doesn't mean YOU have to do all the work. Does she "woo" you back? Does she at least act grateful and appreciate your efforts? Or does she act like it's "expected"?I

At this point, I'm currently seeing someone else. But the spectre of this relationship still remains. Basically because I guess I'm hoping that sweet girl I started out with will reappear one day.

As for the wooing situation. No, she does nothing and expects me to do all the legwork. For her, the relationship must be a oneway street with the traffic going in her direction. Hence why I'm seeing someone else at the moment. If I ain't getting sex there, then I'll get it elsewhere, right?

It took me awhile to figure this all out, and this site helped me. Unfortunately, I'm still having a tough time coming to terms with the fact that the person I was with was not as originally advertised.

She changed to the point that I barely recognise her anymore, and I'm starting to think that she's a master manipulator. A startling revelation, to be honest. Not to mention disappointing, because I truly thought the world of this person. Probably my mistake right there - I put her on a pedastal. Not that I didn't make my share of boneheaded mistakes - being a total supplicating AFC was the worst of them.

But, in the last few months, I've encountered several different women, so that's been fun at least.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by MetalFortress
Don Juanabbe, for an indication of if this sweet girl will return, take a good look at her mother. With her mother like this, manipulative and controlling her dad as you say she is, all those years of observing that has gotten into her head. If her mom was the type who was real sweet to her husband, submissive, etc, I would say she would have a good chance of going back to being like that as well, but not so.

Metalfortress, thanks. You're right of course. Couple that with this person's inability to see any flaw in her own personality, and I'd say the odds of her reverting back are slim to none.

At least I didn't totally waste the year - I've seen other women and I am currently seeing one, so life ain't that bad!

 

[Ricky]

Wow Don Juannabee that has to be incredibly difficult after 7 years.

I have been with this one close to 3 and it is crazy tough.

Best of luck to you.

It is tough knowing a girl who has become your best friend just might not be the best pick for a wife.