"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Critique My Texting

In10se

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Alright so, if you've followed my past threads you know I'm working on my text game...makeouts and numbers are a daily thing, but converting solid numbers into day 2s proves trickier...I have this hottie on the hook and I want to get her out this week...look at our text exchange and tell me what is good/what is bad

Two days after meeting last week:

Me: BE tn? (popular place for that nite of the week)

Her: I can't I have work -_-

Me: Working at Mcdonalds must have a demanding schedule :)

Her: hahhaha yea right

Then I let it cool off and texted her again today 5 days later...I was expecting I let it go cold for too long, but apparently not

Me: Ill take a mcflurry and a big mac... hold the pickles

Her: lmao, I hate you I do not work there!

Me: I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend (yes I took that off some gay PUA forum, but its kinda playful and prompts a response)

Her: haha, what did you do

Me: Went to XXX, the most epic place on Sundays

Her: Neva heard of it!

I waited about 45 min

Me: Huge day drink on XXX in the XXX

She responded very quickly up until I stopped rapid firing back...I feel like I'm getting very positive feedback and obviously want to lead into inviting her out to XXX on Sunday...
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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evansblue

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I'm going to offer some constructive criticism here. I was originally going to respond with "Painful".

Cool it with the forced witty bravado. I have seen this time and time and time again on this forum. This is not a p!ssing contest between you and the girl. You should not be trying to one-up her. How about having a normal conversation?

Insisting she works at McDonald's? Telling her your weekend was better than her weekend? I don't know man. To me, that just comes off as awkward and trying way too hard.

So many guys feel the need to overcompensate with one liners and attempt to force feed humor to the girl. Just go with the flow man, relax. You're doing this because you don't think you're good enough. In your mind you have to do this to build attraction. You have low self-esteem, and girls can spot this a mile away. If something funny comes out of your mouth or in a text, fine. But this clearly is scripted and cheesy.
 

In10se

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Yeah, I mean it was flowing... I tend to disagree I think I was getting pretty positive responses...girls just ignore texts that they don't want to answer...I've seen it constantly with my female friends
 

Voice

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I thought you did pretty good until the whole "my weekend better than your weekend". The mcflurry hold the pickles was pretty funny. I have to agree with evansblue that it seems like you are trying too hard after that.

It's important that this chick already has legitimate interest in you before you start the text banter. If she does than a little playfulness leading up to an invitation to hang out is perfect.

Let us know how it works out with this chick.
 

Aristippus

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Hey In10se,

Ok. First, I just want to say, you have no need to prove anything to anybody. Not to the guys on here or to any woman you meet. When you tell someone "I went to such and such a place. It's the most epic place, etc etc." and also saying "My weekend was better than yours", it comes across as approval-seeking. It comes across as bragging. Like you're trying too hard to impress her.

You don't have to do that! You're probably already a very cool guy. Your trying to impress is covering over your genuine, natural personality. You're working too hard. Trust me. You don't always have to try to find some snappy comeback or say a word to impress her.

Think of it like this. Which is more impressive? If I tell you "I went to such and such. It's the best. It's the greatest." OR if you go with me to this place and you see it for yourself and then tell me "Hey! I really like this place!". Enthusiasm is great! You can be excited about your weekend without coming across as "I did such and such. Look at me. I had more fun than you.". It's like the difference between laughing with someone and laughing at them.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Aristippus

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By the way. I find texting isn't the best way to move things forward. It isn't a good primary source of communicating. To get things going more smoothly, talking, actually hearing the other person's voice is more personal.

Texting is useful in small doses. Like if you're in a loud place and can't talk on the phone. If you're meeting someone out and need to tell them where you are. I'd stick with actually talking and hearing the other person's voice.
 

SamTheHobit

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If she attracted she attracted, doesn't really matter what the fvck you say.

These days I've cooled it with the 'witty lines', but there's lots of ways making the conversation fun without using lines.

Remember you're doing good if it's not scripted.
 

SeymourCake

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I thought it was pretty good. He displayed that he's a fun person by saying his weekend is better than hers and women love people around men who are fun and outgoing.
 

Skalioppe

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You need to text to achieve a goal, whereas yours are just chumpy smalltalk, the kind she'll have with her gay best friend, and which is slowly moving yourself into the friendzone. She appears to be giving IOIs, so following getting a laugh, here's what I would have done...

Her: lmao, I hate you I do not work there!

Me: You need a break from putting cheese slices on beef patties, I've decided I'm going to take you out one evening, how's <day> looking for you?

Confident, Alpha like escalation. If she can't make that day, ask her to name a day. I guarantee she'll agree.

Here's a post a wrote about texting....
 

In10se

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Thanks Skalioppe, appreciate a comment that actually talks about what I can do better...yes I agree after she showed interested wit the "lmao, I hate you" that would've been my que to get the ball rolling...instead of playing court jester...I won't be texting her again anytime soon...she would have to initiate with me.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Mantis Toboggan

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In10se said:
Thanks Skalioppe, appreciate a comment that actually talks about what I can do better...yes I agree after she showed interested wit the "lmao, I hate you" that would've been my que to get the ball rolling...instead of playing court jester...I won't be texting her again anytime soon...she would have to initiate with me.
Exactly. Glad you understand.

I was reading through your text like, "Okay, so when is this guy gonna get to the point?"

Actually my philosophy in real life conversation and text conversation is to leave on a high note. As in, I make a joke, people laugh, and then I shut up. In your case, it's make a joke, make the girl laugh, and then go for the date offer.

No need for a 20-text conversation about nothing, just to set up for a date request 5 days down the road.

i understand the desire to build rapport. And I guess text is a way of doing that. But if you lean to heavily on that electronic rapport, you're gonna end up with an electronic relationship. AKA, a text buddy.
 
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