Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Crazy things you DJ's have done.

face2003

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Let's start another "Hobbie" thread, except, this time lets list the crazy things we have done. Should be pretty cool. I'll start

1.) During lunch at school they play music. Me and my friend start doing some crazy a$$ dance moves. A huge crowd came around us and starting rooting. It was cool :). (done this 3 times)

2.) At the biggest basketball game of the year, I wore a Full-On gorilla suit while my friend wore a HUGE cowboy hat and humungous red glasses. We started the wave and we danced during the half-time show.

3.) Me and my friend snuck into a building and walked around for a while. We almost got caught.

4.) Me and my friend went to school one day and played metal gear solid 2. We were hiding from all the teachers and supervisors. By the end of the day, almost the entire school was looking for us. It was awesome.

5.) I rode my bike around town completely naked at 7:00 PM. It was cool.

6.) I wore a long blonde hair wig, torn jeans, and a holy shirt to school one day and I carried a stereo on my shoulder. I was dancing in the hallways and in the inner-court.

7.) I wore a taco-hat to school one day.

8.) I took my piece of crap car to the movie theaters and reved my engine up a lot and did a huge burn out lol.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Let's see some of your guys'.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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icallug

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my friends and i got chased by some crazy A$$ gangsters one night, we ended up running through 7 backyards, dogded through traffic, and ended up hiding in an old abandoned house for the rest of the night.
 

Supero Masculus

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**** dudes! I'm not even going to try to top any of those things. Just.....to.....craZy......
 

LikRetsam

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face, #5 is hilarious.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Vincent

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Best April Fools Day joke ever:
So i was walking to me and my friends cars during lunch and was trying to think of a gag. My friend noticed that my other friend left the rear window of his bronco open. We then decide we're gonna get in and see if we can push it. We realized we'd prob need to have a key to put it in neutral, so i thought maybe if i put the key in it might work.

Well i put it in, and decided to try and turn it i put it to the on position. my friend looks at me through the window and we're both in shock. I then decide to start it, and slowly it turns over. I look at my friend and think i must be hallucinating. I decide to back it out just to make sure. I drive it around a bit and we decide on something to do with it. We finally decided to park it two rows away so it was just out of view. We went to lunch incredibly excited.

Well after school I was walking out to the cars with him and as we get close he noticed it was gone. We get up close and my friends are like "hey man I thought you were gone" then my friend starts thinking "Maybe I parked it somewhere else" he walks around a bit and is starting to get pissed. he walks over a row of cars, and we thought for sure he would see it.

He didn't and comes back pissed. He decides to call his house and talk to his parents. We knew his mom wouldn't care but she wasn't there and had to talk to his dad. We decide his dad might get upset, we decided to end it.

I go up to him and ask to see his keys and am like "do you think my key would work in your ignition" holding both my key and his up. And this point he starts to realize what’s going on, and we're just dying. So I tell him his cars two rows over, and then yelled APRIL FOOLS, he's still pissed at that time and made a swat at my nuts, man it was HILARIOUS

Hope this is as funny to read as when it happened. It turns out my key can start most 95 and under ford cars. And no you can't have it :p.

Just fyi this happened today :)
 
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deeloo

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the craziest thing i can remember is trying to write a 1000 word essay when i was high.. that was crazy..
 

Luscious

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Laid down on the hood of my friend's '87 Buick last year while he drove it around the school parking lot at a pretty fair speed. Possibly one of the scariest, and most amazing, moments of my life.:)
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Ahh, the memories....

#1. I once went for a four mile run while wearing only a trench coat, a pair of pink bunny slippers and a smile.

#2. I showed up for a date dressed as batman.
She said "wear something tight".

#3. I tied a steak around my neck and planned to run from my friend's neighbor's rottweiler after lacing his water with an illegally obtained prescription drug.
It didn't work, but thats how I got my name!

Kids, never play 'truth or dare' while drunk....

Come to think of it... don't play 'truth or dare' period.
Drunk or otherwise.

I don't drink anymore, if you're wondering.

:D
 
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CaptainMorgan

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i went for a jog 8:00 on halloween night in a thong, headband and tubsocks in the richest and most busy neighborhoods in the city. poor kids.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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face2003

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haha, good ones.

I did a crazy thing today.

I took my radio to school and played Michael Jackson songs while doing the moonwalk in the cafeteria and in the inner court. Fun stuff.
 

Rad

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meh. mine aint nothing that crazy

i proposed to this hot girl with a ring pop. :D. meh i found it funny along with my friends.
 

Sniper2k

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lol...I must be boring then, or too afraid to do anything crazy. I'd recommend everyone just go do crazy sh*t as often as possible, life is about living the way you want, happily. So get the fvck out and party b4 time runs out! woooooooohoooooooooo!
 
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1) Gave 500 dollars to some fat kids because he ate a pie full of maggots and worms..

2) gave 150 to my neighbor for downing a whole bottle of my signature "Hot Sauce From HELL" under 30 seconds...lol..oh man, the look on that f*ckers face.

3)gave 400 dollars to another fat kid for downing a whole birthday cake I stole from a party earlier that day..

4)Smashed a sh*t load of pumpkins with some chicks last year and almost got arrested..

5)stabbed a queer in school with a pen:D

6)downed 17 tall shots of some Heaven Hill vodka in less than 15 minutes last Thursday.

7) trashed my hotel room after a party..nailed pizza to the walls, shot the **** out the lights with a potatoe gun, pissed on the curtains, and burned the bed sheets, and accidentally broke the door...I almost got sued, but settled for 2,000, I think...

8) Slashed some queers tires at school

9)went to school with a long hair wig, an electric guitar with a "portable" amp and got suspended...

10) smashed the **** out of my neighbors old dodge with a 4X4

11) shot my neighbor's windows with my potato gun.

12) beat up my neigbor's dog with my dog.

13) stole my neighbor's benches and chairs he had outside..

14) camped out at an old and haunted ass cemetary..it has moving statue damn it!!

15) had .28 alcohol blood level and lived!

16) shot a film about people getting shot, and the residents of the areas called the cops on us, they thought we were using real guns and sh*t....

17) blew up my neighbor's tent the only time I went camping with him..

18) threw my girlfriend over a cliff and into some water so she aint' dead, but it was refreshing because she had me uber mad..

19) got thrown out a football game for fighting with one of the other team's recievers flippin off the referee...It was the talk of the school for a while...

20) blew up a cow

21).....me and a bunch of friends stomp****ed a friend's boyfriend last week..

22) went to school on acid or shrooms for a week. I felt like a total dumb ass for like two weeks.

23) 2 minute keg stand biiatch!!

24) filmed a documentary about how much me and my friends hate some kid.

25) accidentally shoved my sister off a balcony..scary moment.

26) one night me and a friend drove into a run down part of Harrison, Arkansas(KKK capital of the world from what I've been told), heard a bunch of voices or like some chanting in some woods near a trail, and so we decided to see what was going on and as we suspected KKK ritual or meeting goin on..and we kind of took out as soon as possible..

27) ...I'm charles manson's disciple..:D
 

face2003

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my god man, you are one crazy guy or something....sheesh
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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umm, I'm ok..I know some real rich motherf*ckers though! And they're crazy as hell too......so I take it that you guys wouldn't wanna hang out with me..:(
 

MidwestFreek

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when i was like...11 or 12..used to sneak out and break in car windows just for the hell of it..lately..not so much crazy ****..altho i got to shake ahmann greens hand..he came to our school cuz hes half bros with the cop there
 
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