"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Conversational skills lacking

PapiChulo

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All this is gonna take years to fix as the other posters have suggested. For me, it was 4 years of university that did the trick. It's about developing public speaking skills, use of humor and managing the anxiety which = confidence.


It's just like the case with fear- you have to do what makes you anxious, then it will get better.

Learn to use humor- watch standup comedy or the funny people you know and see how those guys create humor. That way you are in control .

Second, educated yourself so you can offer advice and insight - puts you in control as well.

Be observant of whats going on around, note interesting, ironic, crazy things you come across.


Be bald and maybe a bit "naughty", take risk!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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realtalk

Don Juan
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War Against Betaism said:
Care to explain yourself?

Facts:

- He has social anxiety

- CBT is a proven method to beating social anxiety

- Acting overly intrigued in what someone says really is a demonstration of lower value (i.e. the guy that laughs too much at your jokes)

- If you only tell someone to listen, they are not adding anything of value to a conversation



What part of my post didn't ring true to you?
 

War Against Betaism

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realtalk said:
- Acting overly intrigued in what someone says really is a demonstration of lower value (i.e. the guy that laughs too much at your jokes)
Yeah, OVERLY, if you're acting like a complete approval seeking chump that laughs like a hyena at everything the other person is saying. Laughter is the number one way to build rapport. Just because you've provided an extreme case of a way to approach conversation, does not mean you have to completely avoid it.

realtalk said:
- If you only tell someone to listen, they are not adding anything of value to a conversation
Real talk, you seriously act there is absolutely no flexibility in this approach to conversation. It's not like you're 100% asking questions all the time while you let the other person blabble their mouth away.
 

PapiChulo

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I am with realtalk on this one.
 
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