"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Conversation with my daughter this morning...

Warrior74

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She was watching Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and in this particular episode one fo the twins says to the other "you need to be more like me, more of a bad boy and less of a wimp" to which the nerdy wimpy twin replied, "I think girls appreciate a man who is in touch with his feelings and is not afraid to cry". I asked my daughter would she like a man who was like that. She said, "No! He's weak!" I said, do you like the bad boy then? She said, no he's stupid. LOL outta the mouths of babes. Of course she tells me boys are yucky but then five minutes later tells me how her friends have "boyfriends". Daddy ain't stupid.

Later, I was watching a program and a diamond commercial came on.

Her: Oooh diamonds.
Me: Why do you like diamonds?
Her: Cause they are pretty.
Me: So what else makes them special?
Her: They are worth a lot of money?
Me: So why should a man give you diamonds?
Her: Because he loves me?
Me: What is more important? The diamond or the love?
Her: The love.
Me: So if he gave you a small/cheap diamond does that means he loves you less?
Her: Not if that's all he can afford.
Me: Interesting....

Then we had a short conversation about Debeirs (she knows what a monopoly is, because we've talked about the power company as a monopoly before, and we play Monopoly on a regular basis). So now she realizes that diamonds are an over priced commodity because of a Monopoly. I told her love and people who care for you are more important than things. 9 years old. Good grief, I got my work cut out for me.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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zekko

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I asked my daughter would she like a man who was like that. She said, "No! He's weak!" I said, do you like the bad boy then? She said, no he's stupid. LOL outta the mouths of babes.
Sounds like your daughter is very insightful.
I like that she rejected both the stereotypes.
 

backbreaker

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sounds like a good one you got there.


my concerns with my sister are coming to futuritian. she's a tad bit overweight for her size. it's not my mom. my mom is a food nazi. it's her other side of her family, it's kfc, taco bell galore. she's like 5'3, 120 pounds, 10 years old. she' snot FAT, but she's not skinny either.
anyway there is this boy at school she likes and she was telling me how he won't play with her anymore and she dont' think he likes her. mom told her that it's his loss (bs). I cooked that night, something healthy. when it hurts bad enough she will ask me.
 

Warrior74

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backbreaker said:
sounds like a good one you got there.


my concerns with my sister are coming to futuritian. she's a tad bit overweight for her size. it's not my mom. my mom is a food nazi. it's her other side of her family, it's kfc, taco bell galore. she's like 5'3, 120 pounds, 10 years old. she' snot FAT, but she's not skinny either.
anyway there is this boy at school she likes and she was telling me how he won't play with her anymore and she dont' think he likes her. mom told her that it's his loss (bs). I cooked that night, something healthy. when it hurts bad enough she will ask me.

I hear you. My daughter is a little overweight, her mother doesn't cook and when she does it isn't healthy and then I have to be the food nazi on the weekend. Me and her mother's mother have been teaching her about nutrition but not preaching about her weight or food. So she knows she's not eating healthy at home. We just don't want her to develop a complex about food. I tell her if she goes outside to play every day and eat good food she will have nothing to worry about.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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amoka

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Warrior, can your daughter wait for my son? I am sure they'll be good couple.
 
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