im 21, just started 'dating' my coworker who ive been working with for about a year now, she just turned 21 few months ago, we hooked up about a month and a half ago, for the past year ive been single, and loving it, but seriously thinkin about having a girlfriend again, and shes definitely the girlfriend type material, but im confused about the situation in that i dont know what exactly is it that she wants from me. There have been no complaints, sex is great, everytime we get down and she loves it. We go out have fun on the weekends, spend a lot of time together during week, but she hasnt let me know what it is that shes looking for or wants.. im not sure if i should bring it up because it might show too much interest, and i should just wait till she brings it up or what.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Confused about my current situation
- Thread starter Ricolas87
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
WC2
Master Don Juan
No, you shouldn't be the one making the move towards being more serious.
If the sex is great and you're having a good time then what's the problem? I realize that you may want to 'lock' her down so she's not seeing other dudes, but she'll do that accordingly whether you're in a relationship with her or not.
If she hasn't attempted to lock you down at the moment, it's probably because you're too easily available. She's content because at the moment you're not seeing other women.
If I were you I'd just be content with how things are now and free yourself a little bit from her. See other women, cut down the time you chill with her (if necessary) and see what happens.
If the sex is great and you're having a good time then what's the problem? I realize that you may want to 'lock' her down so she's not seeing other dudes, but she'll do that accordingly whether you're in a relationship with her or not.
If she hasn't attempted to lock you down at the moment, it's probably because you're too easily available. She's content because at the moment you're not seeing other women.
If I were you I'd just be content with how things are now and free yourself a little bit from her. See other women, cut down the time you chill with her (if necessary) and see what happens.
yeah thats what I was thinking I should do, continue talking to some other girls I was seeing before I hooked up with her, I think I am just spending too much time thinking about it when it shouldn't be even an issue to me, I think whats happening is I am starting to like her more than id like to right now. But yeah thanks for the advice, now that i think of it I definitely need to cut down the amount of time i spend with her, because I do make myself too available. Usually i dont ever have problems like this, but I dunno, guess theres always that one chick that confuses u a bit.
WC2
Master Don Juan
Just remember that the one who CARES the most and WANTS the other one the most is always the one with the least power.Ricolas87 said:yeah thats what I was thinking I should do, continue talking to some other girls I was seeing before I hooked up with her, I think I am just spending too much time thinking about it when it shouldn't be even an issue to me, I think whats happening is I am starting to like her more than id like to right now. But yeah thanks for the advice, now that i think of it I definitely need to cut down the amount of time i spend with her, because I do make myself too available. Usually i dont ever have problems like this, but I dunno, guess theres always that one chick that confuses u a bit.
You can love a girl sexually without having to care about her sentimentally all the time. Let her be the sentimental one who wants you and chases you.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Walking Anomaly
Senior Don Juan
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Yea...This is pretty much just reiterating wat WC2 said...but basically dont be afraid to TALK with the girl about getting into an exclusive relationship with her. Just make sure that if it does come up that SHE is the one who brings it up. Dont be the first to talk about it. Just spend time with her and have a good time...show her how much fun she can have when shes with you, and how little fun she has when ur not around lol.
Its not an exclusive relationship until it is mutually agreed by you both, but again make sure she brings it up and however you deal with it make sure you are congruent to that intention.
~WA
Its not an exclusive relationship until it is mutually agreed by you both, but again make sure she brings it up and however you deal with it make sure you are congruent to that intention.
~WA
yeah thats the thing, i want her to bring **** up, i just kinda feel like i dont know whats on her mind cause she knows how i was before we got together, and she knows that id sleep around and not give a f***, but when i decide that i wanna see wassup with a girl as far as a relationship goes i do not cheat. I just dont want her to get the wrong idea about me and think that since I was that way before that im just gonna play her.