Confidence is completely gone. Can I salvage this situation?

[Sleek]

I've never been in a relationship before or even kiss a girl before until I found this site. I've been reading the materials on this site and it has landed me a girl that truly like me for who I am but I reverted back to my old afc self and I lost her. Her attraction level for me in the beginning was very high and now I'm not really sure where her attraction level is. I actually almost banged her in my room but she felt very uncomfortable and I stop when I encounter LMR. I still live at home with my parents, I'm 26 I was struggling to get by going college but I just graduated from college and I'm moving out in 2 weeks. I found a job that pays me 42,000$ a year. I have to say I'm very afraid of moving out and living by myself.

I've been dating this girl for a couple months, shes 21, she's an HB9, everytime I go out with her someone is always complimenting how beautiful she is and how lucky I am. I finally got the nerves to tell her how i really felt. I think I suffocated her by telling her how much I like her and how much I care about her. I told her that she makes me feel complete and shes very special. She told me she likes me and shes attracted to me but shes not looking for a serious relationship. She said let's just be friends, which I agree to. We still make out, hold hands, no sex and go on dates.

I kept telling her the same things and she told me to stop it and chill out. She said I like her to much and she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I told her I know she likes me and she said she likes me as a friend only, this time around. She said friends shouldn't be touching each other because friends don't feel on each other. I really like this girl and want to know if i can salvage this situation. I messed up by letting her know how much I like her too early and being too mushy.

I'm still inexperience with dealing with these situations. Do I appear desperate? Am I pushing her away from me? I wish I can regain that confidence I had at the beginning, when I was in control and she was chasing me. Where I didnt' seem predictable and I was mysterious. Is there any hope for this situation at all? I don't want to give up. My confidence level is at an all time low. Is one final move I can pull to win her back....

 

[snoopy6]

Sleek, I am at the same situation and dont know what to do,Please let me know if u you find any solution.

 

[gherald]

move on guys...

stop wasting your precious time on a girl that has LJBF you...

you'll regain your confidence back when you find another girl to replace her...

 

[Maxtro]

Do I appear desperate? Am I pushing her away from me?

Yes.

You kept pushing and pushing her. IMO you should cut contact with her for a while and focus on other girls.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

dudes a lame

I think you are more worried about being alone. Its time to man up! I think that moving out has you jarred and scared. If i were you i would just try and relax. this situation can be saved, just be cool and relaxed around her. i think the best way to fix this is to do fun things with her, that give you a reason to touch and let her get used to her. Don't get mushy. *****Update*****Wait she is 21, son why you want a child when you could date a woman? Of course she don't want anything serious she is right in the middle of her college years, she ain't tryin to be settled. If i weren't so lazy i would go back an erase everything i just said to you befor *Don't get mushy*. she should be drooling over you, not the other way around!

 

[DavenJuan]

Sleek...

You already know the answers to your questions because you posted them. You know you appear desperate, however at the time you didnt care what you looked like because you know that bottom line was you wanted her.

unfortunately you have to have more self control. There are a couple things ...

You are putting all you eggs in one basket. read up on rollos Plate theory. if you havent already. I think you also are looking at the fact that you havent been with anyone and putting too much pressure on yourself and making it seem that she is the only one for you which is not the case.

You did push her away with your clingyness and emotional breakdowns about how much you lke her .

There is no mystery, there is no chase. She has one in her eyes. what reason does she have to stick around and be bored?

Bottom line is your 26, same age as me. there is no shortage of women out there than you can meet. And everyone of them are lucky to even be in your presence. you have to believe that.

 

[LAWYER]

Just go back to the basic... && and learn from this experience

 

[snoopy6]

DavenJuan,
I have the same problem like Sleek but I am 36, and she is 36 too, but I feel like it , she seems ignoring me , or acting cool. We've not talked since Sunday and I didnt call her. Sometimes I want to call her, but my bodies tell me not to do it. What do you thing guys?

thanks

 

[DavenJuan]

originally posted by snoopy6
I have the same problem like Sleek but I am 36, and she is 36 too, but I feel like it , she seems ignoring me , or acting cool. We've not talked since Sunday and I didnt call her. Sometimes I want to call her, but my bodies tell me not to do it. What do you thing guys?

does she just wann be friends? if so there could be tons of reasons why? gotta give some background. In the OP case, he was to pushy and to emotional. A girl doesnt want a girl she wants a man... ( no offense)

Instead of thinking what you have to offer her, think about what she can offer you. Why she deserves to be with YOU. WHEN you get that mentality down, then the rest will fall into place. its her loss that she doesnt wanna stick around

 

[AfRoSwiss-Disiac]

DavenJuan,
I have the same problem like Sleek but I am 36, and she is 36 too, but I feel like it , she seems ignoring me , or acting cool. We've not talked since Sunday and I didnt call her. Sometimes I want to call her, but my bodies tell me not to do it. What do you thing guys?

thanks

Listen to your gut!!
Do not call her!
play some "keep away" and find another women and see if this one comes back around

 

[snoopy6]

her background

does she just wann be friends? if so there could be tons of reasons why? gotta give some background. In the OP case, he was to pushy and to emotional. A girl doesnt want a girl she wants a man... ( no offense)

Instead of thinking what you have to offer her, think about what she can offer you. Why she deserves to be with YOU. WHEN you get that mentality down, then the rest will fall into place. its her loss that she doesnt wanna stick around

To be honest with u, she's been married for 10 years and she just got divorced 2.5 years ago, but not it in nice way. when she came back from her trip, her ex left her.(by the way I met her last Dec.) I asked her why he left you without any note, at beginning she told me ,he couldn't catch up with me, I am so ambitions but he wasn't so he left. But after knowing her better, i found out she has short temper and she want to be center and dominate and criticize,not in nice way, everything that she does not like or agree it.
and recently sometimes she said that i was my fault that he left.
Any way, to be honest at the beginning she told me I am not looking for marriage or relation ,just friendship, but the point is she said but act differently , gradually she started have feeling and we kissed and ... few times
but if something happened, like failing in her exam, she got mad and start say: we're just friend and i have to focus on my study , i dont want to have relationship I wanna be free lab lab lab... BUT when I told her ,ok, u go and I go after my life too and I don't call u anymore, then she asked my to stay and not leave her. but recently she is acting cool it seems we didn't have anything before and not calling me since Sunday. I think probably she met new friends or guys and now she has more guys around her, so she don't need or care me anymore. Specially her ex-boyfriends ,when she was 22, moved here 2 months ago.and I know the guy is divorced too and he is still in love with her. When she told me he is going move to our city, she told me I am not gonna hang out with that guy,the pas is past. but when she had argue on last 2 Monday and she was pissed because her exam again, then she said again, "we are just friend , i wanna be free, i wanna see my old friend (means ex-boyfriend) ..."
Here was my story and I am not happy at all, I feel, she played with me. She kept me and didn't let me go when I asked to go, and now because she has other propels around, she is telling me we have to go after our life. IT IS NOT FAIR. I feel,I have been used