Confessions : as life gets better dating got worse..

[Gamisch]

For all my(fr)enemies; have at it. Imma be honest and vulnerable in this one

As I leveled up it seems my dating life got worse. I used to be broke, homeless, (skinny) fat and mentally disturbed.

But despite these factors I ALWAYS was occupied with some woman. Baby mommas left right, feck buddies here and there , women that approach me ect ect. Easy lays all the time.

So I worked on my flaws thinking that an improved version of me would do some.seripus damage..
- learned a new skill and making bank with it
- hitting PRs in the gym
- fixed my living situation
-upgraded my wardrobe significantly
- followed therapy to contain my anger

And what do you know? Lately I've been kinda struggling with the ladies! All I know is instant lust and connection, but my last 3 dates all went south..last woman last week I had some kinda fun connection with, but she ghosted me...my steady feck buddy got a bf now ...

It's seems like women do NOT like this better version of me????

Does anyone ever been through something similar? Seems like life is humbling me now when it comes to dating. Something that used to happen naturally every time so far this year been kinda of a struggle..

 

[CornbreadFed]

It didn't get worse, your dating pool shifted, and you are failing to pivot. As you properly upgrade in life, you will have to soar with higher birds and get off the ground from the turkeys. This notion that high value men are just dating Mcdonald's drugged up line workers is a myth promoted from the ghetto side of the red pill. This might not apply to guys that got rich quick, but it will catch up to them if they do not learn to pivot. In reality, yes your dating pool will be smaller, but you will be dating higher quality women in return.

 

[plumber]

probably your language is changing also. maybe how you talk, but what you talk about for sure.

- followed therapy to contain my anger...
if your still picking from the same pool, this change is not helping. its a good change, but requires a different pool to select from now.

depending on how dramatic is your appearance change you might be attracting higher but your other attributes are still catching up.

first guess is don't worry about it, sometimes things just are not going well only because of chance.

a year from now you going to look back and be laughing when all the hard works start getting the results. I did something like but different than your telling a couple of different times. each time it took months or even couple years to catch up, but when it did; wow...

stay the course.

 

[jhonny9546]

This is very interesting. I’ve noticed the same thing in my own life.
The feelings are exactly what I had anticipated in some of my posts, where I said:
“Women prefer childish and immature men over respectful and mature ones.”

 

[characternote]

“Women prefer childish and immature men over respectful and mature ones.”

lol, I actually probably had my hottest ever spell when I was at my most 'loser-ish' funnily enough! I always put it down to the fact that I was just approaching so much more in those days and so was more likely to get lucky and bang some really hot young girl way out of my league. Pure numbers game. But maybe there's some weird truth in it haha

 

[Gamisch]

It didn't get worse, your dating pool shifted, and you are failing to pivot. As you properly upgrade in life, you will have to soar with higher birds and get off the ground from the turkeys. This notion that high value men are just dating Mcdonald's drugged up line workers is a myth promoted from the ghetto side of the red pill. This might not apply to guys that got rich quick, but it will catch up to them if they do not learn to pivot. In reality, yes your dating pool will be smaller, but you will be dating higher quality women in return.

In my native language there's a saying that roughly translates like" falling between the shore and the ship". That's kinda where I'm at now. These ghetto birds are a no-go, but the higher quality women still don't seem to notice me that much. Oftentimes I wanna fall back to familiar territory, but when I do I immediately regret that decision.

For example: End last year I approached a woman that was checking me out at the grocery store. We meet, we feck, and then she starts telling me about how she likes to fight yadiya, steal, proudly telling me how ghetto she is. She asked for 1 more round but I was like nah gotta go.

It actually felt kinda..embarrassing to associate with a woman like that. Back in the days this might've become my " steady gf". Nowadays I don't wanna be seen with someone like her.

On the other hand: when I do want that easy lay and I go after ghetto-ish women, I ALSO notice that some of these women ( same category as described above) all of a sudden give me an attitude as if they are more worthy than me! Then it becomes more of a game about my ego than anything else.

 

[Gamisch]

This is very interesting. I’ve noticed the same thing in my own life.
The feelings are exactly what I had anticipated in some of my posts, where I said:
“Women prefer childish and immature men over respectful and mature ones.”

Perhaps...

I also should say that my tolerance and thus perseverance is way way way less and lower than it used to be. If a woman doesn't comply, its bey bey. So lately is been more like speed dating, checkig if there's something no, next...

I've been through too much with too many women, and I also overstayed my welcome with some of my long term relationships. my firt baby mom hates me and there's no turning back, even though we shared laughter and pain everything. That staying too long results in a " deep dive" into the chaotic female mind and life were I as a man became the object of her doubts, comparisons with other men, tons of ungratefulness ect. I've learned this the HARD way.

Seems like some women can smell / sense that I won't be that guy (anymore) who believes their bs . Even of a woman is all smiley and cozy I can't shake of the feeling of been there soooo many times before. They all start like that untill their masks fall off eventually and what left is not pretty at all.

Seems like the perfect window to sleep with them is during the stage when they PRETEND to be someone they're not, because once they can't pretend any longer they ( oftentimes angrily) move on.

 

[corrector]

For all my(fr)enemies; have at it. Imma be honest and vulnerable in this one

As I leveled up it seems my dating life got worse. I used to be broke, homeless, (skinny) fat and mentally disturbed.

But despite these factors I ALWAYS was occupied with some woman. Baby mommas left right, feck buddies here and there , women that approach me ect ect. Easy lays all the time.

So I worked on my flaws thinking that an improved version of me would do some.seripus damage..
- learned a new skill and making bank with it
- hitting PRs in the gym
- fixed my living situation
-upgraded my wardrobe significantly
- followed therapy to contain my anger

And what do you know? Lately I've been kinda struggling with the ladies! All I know is instant lust and connection, but my last 3 dates all went south..last woman last week I had some kinda fun connection with, but she ghosted me...my steady feck buddy got a bf now ...

It's seems like women do NOT like this better version of me????

Does anyone ever been through something similar? Seems like life is humbling me now when it comes to dating. Something that used to happen naturally every time so far this year been kinda of a struggle..

Wasn't this the same advice you gave me on other threads and now you are telling us that it's not working for you?

 

[CornbreadFed]

These ghetto birds are a no-go, but the higher quality women still don't seem to notice me that much.

It's going to take an adjustment that might take a while, but I am sure some exhausted high career female needs a boy toy.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Gamish,
" some exhausted high career female needs a boy toy."...Cornbread is right....When it is known,that you come with Brushes and a roller tray,they will be knocking at your door.

 

[zekko]

This is very interesting. I’ve noticed the same thing in my own life.
The feelings are exactly what I had anticipated in some of my posts, where I said:
“Women prefer childish and immature men over respectful and mature ones.”

I disagree with the basic assertion. But it is quite possible as one matures, you become boring. A mature man is not necessarily a boring one, but if he becomes boring, it should be addressed. It may be as simple as trying to have more fun, and be more fun. In any case, I wouldn't want to trade maturity for childishness in order to gain women. Now to be child-like is something else.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Browse and Use the internet and look at more classier venues around your part of town. Maybe you ask Chat GPT? lol. Those ' Hood rats' will suck the living life force out of you eventually, keep doing what your doing brother. Build your wealth, maybe start your own business with a couple of Side hustles and give back to the poor and charity. Stick to your hobbies and passion, keep a good social circle with good friends who encourages you and learn simplicity and balance while your doing those things.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Easy women" stop liking you when your quality of life becomes richer, this is true

 

[jhonny9546]

It actually felt kinda..embarrassing to associate with a woman like that. Back in the days this might've become my " steady gf". Nowadays I don't wanna be seen with someone like her.

So a man has a growth like that, he becomes mature, and knows how to recognize.
By dominating me, if on the other side, women can do the same.
That is, overcome their childhood traumas, of getting with an immature man just because "he's like his father", or whatever.

We men can do it, but them?

child-like is something else

I don't know what you mean by child-like but I have it:
being disrespected for the sake of bigger things, like maintaining a relationship just because the family is well structured or there are advantages like money, etc.
gossiping and acting like teenagers.

 

[Bokanovsky]

There are women who are attracted to moody, angry, volatile men. No question about it. You know all those women who are victims of domestic violence and/or psychological abuse who stay with their men? They are drawn to these men like a moth to a flame. Same reason why some men are attracted to toxic, damaged goods women.

 

[zekko]

I don't know what you mean by child-like but I have it:

Childish means you are immature, your behavior is not appropriate or productive, you're irresponsible, and don't cope well emotionally.

Child-like means you look at the world with a sense of wonder and imagination, with a playful personality.

 

[The Duke]

For all my(fr)enemies; have at it. Imma be honest and vulnerable in this one

As I leveled up it seems my dating life got worse. I used to be broke, homeless, (skinny) fat and mentally disturbed.

But despite these factors I ALWAYS was occupied with some woman. Baby mommas left right, feck buddies here and there , women that approach me ect ect. Easy lays all the time.

So I worked on my flaws thinking that an improved version of me would do some.seripus damage..
- learned a new skill and making bank with it
- hitting PRs in the gym
- fixed my living situation
-upgraded my wardrobe significantly
- followed therapy to contain my anger

And what do you know? Lately I've been kinda struggling with the ladies! All I know is instant lust and connection, but my last 3 dates all went south..last woman last week I had some kinda fun connection with, but she ghosted me...my steady feck buddy got a bf now ...

It's seems like women do NOT like this better version of me????

Does anyone ever been through something similar? Seems like life is humbling me now when it comes to dating. Something that used to happen naturally every time so far this year been kinda of a struggle..

So you had 3 dates that went south and you are questioning yourself? You have zero control over your fuhk buddy settling down with a boyfriend. As long as you did your part on the date, you can't control this girl ghosting you either.

This sounds like you are questioning your internal confidence. Has nothing to do with women not liking you because of your life improvements.

Chasing women is a tough game. One minute you are on top of the world and have more women than you know what to do with. The next they vanish and you are wondering what the hell happened.

Stay focused on YOU and creating a better version. Don't let the bumps in the road alter your course. Keep moving forward, better times are ahead.

 

[Gamisch]

Wasn't this the same advice you gave me on other threads and now you are telling us that it's not working for you?

Correct statement. So far I’m kinda baffled to see less positive results when it comes to dating while literally everything else goes upward and gets better. Hence why I made this thread.

 

[corrector]

Correct statement. So far I’m kinda baffled to see less positive results when it comes to dating while literally everything else goes upward and gets better. Hence why I made this thread.

You might as well use chatgpt then to troubleshoot this. We both have access to the same system. Perhaps there is a bug somewhere.

 

[Gamisch]

You might as well use chatgpt then to troubleshoot this. We both have access to the same system. Perhaps there is a bug somewhere.

At the end of the day I stick by my own advice tho..

It's embarrassing to sit and have drinks with a woman while worrying about the check and having enough money to pay for the drinks. To sit at home with your gf because you're too broke to go out and have fun. I can give you thousands of such examples.

It's like life gave me choice: you either get some ( very problematic) women you cab shaggy now and then, or you become " less visible " but you will be able to provide for you kids / family. (Not saying that you can't have both but it's kinds feels like that TODAY). I pick the second one!

I actually feel better ,stronger and more confident than ever so I can't put my finger on why exactly I'm having worse results than I used to have when I was a watered down version of who I am today...