jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
Something men of true value never think about is their family, or the family they come from.
I don't know about other countries traditions, but families, here in Italy, always gather for dinner together.
We're talking about families, father and mother, with their grown up children, in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, married or engaged, and some with grandchildren.
This means they see each other at least three times a week to eat together. Maybe their children come home late from work, so it's customary for them to have dinner at their mother's house, and their wives come too.
Clearly, these families excel at creating a warm, social atmosphere. Everyone is together, which is great for mental health. But on the other hand, this is acting like "big kids", who eat two or three times a week at their mother's place.
The hardest part is that they themselves don't realize the toxic behaviors within their family, but they value that social warmth everyone here felt in social presence.
Well, this is typical of Italian families, but I must say Americans are very different in this respect.
That's why the term "mama's boys" is often used for Italian men; I understand why now.
So the compromise would be:
a) Being with your family three times a week, enjoying human warmth but absorbing some family toxicity, but knowing that spending time with other people would be healthier.
b) Being alone, or with your girlfriend or wife, seeing your family only twice a month, maintaining independence but missing that human warmth.
At the end of the day, it's about understanding that when the day ends, you all want to spend a moment together, and usually, everyone is close by (maximum 10 minutes by car) and meets up for dinner, and then everyone goes home.
There are certainly negative aspects, but how positive is it in the long run to know you have the human warmth of your family for this? Even if there is toxicity, many are willing to sacrifice themselves for it.
I'm pretty sure anyone of us have gone trought this so I'm pretty curious about your experience and why you've chosen or not to comrpomise.
I don't know about other countries traditions, but families, here in Italy, always gather for dinner together.
We're talking about families, father and mother, with their grown up children, in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, married or engaged, and some with grandchildren.
This means they see each other at least three times a week to eat together. Maybe their children come home late from work, so it's customary for them to have dinner at their mother's house, and their wives come too.
Clearly, these families excel at creating a warm, social atmosphere. Everyone is together, which is great for mental health. But on the other hand, this is acting like "big kids", who eat two or three times a week at their mother's place.
The hardest part is that they themselves don't realize the toxic behaviors within their family, but they value that social warmth everyone here felt in social presence.
Well, this is typical of Italian families, but I must say Americans are very different in this respect.
That's why the term "mama's boys" is often used for Italian men; I understand why now.
So the compromise would be:
a) Being with your family three times a week, enjoying human warmth but absorbing some family toxicity, but knowing that spending time with other people would be healthier.
b) Being alone, or with your girlfriend or wife, seeing your family only twice a month, maintaining independence but missing that human warmth.
At the end of the day, it's about understanding that when the day ends, you all want to spend a moment together, and usually, everyone is close by (maximum 10 minutes by car) and meets up for dinner, and then everyone goes home.
There are certainly negative aspects, but how positive is it in the long run to know you have the human warmth of your family for this? Even if there is toxicity, many are willing to sacrifice themselves for it.
I'm pretty sure anyone of us have gone trought this so I'm pretty curious about your experience and why you've chosen or not to comrpomise.