There's a story about a colleague of mine that intrigues me.
She's 29yo single mom that broke up with the father of her child because he cheated on her. After the breakup she had a 'relationship' with a guy (I think he is about the same age) from the IT department of the company I work for. I know the guy because sometimes he fixes things for me. It's a decent guy, not really nerdy for an IT guy but knowledgeable and genuinely good at what he does. I think he is ok and he should theoretically be able to get some nice girls. I think that on a theoretical level the IT guy would have a higher sexual market value than my colleague. She is nice and feminine but might look a little older than she actually is while he has a decent job in a nice company and doesnt even seem too beta.
I almost had respect for the guy because he seemed to handle the situation well, they didnt have an actual relationship that was publicly announced and I think very few people knew about them being together (I knew about them because she told me in confidence and I also saw them on the streets of my city together in a weekend). If this was the situation and he was still ****ing her then he seemed to know what he was doing. For some time I really thought he did know what he was doing. It all seemed kind of plausible. Just, why not.
After like 4 months however my colleague told me she had broken up with the IT guy and she stressed she hadn't ****ed him. They had been in bed together a couple of times but nothing had happened 'because she couln't bring herself to it'. She told me although he is a very decent guy she couln't feel attraction for him and now actually was trying to get back with her ex, because that was the guy she did feel love for. She also told me that 'because of her bad youth' she probably was ****ed in the head for having such strange preferences (I told her attraction isn't a choice and she shouldn't apologize for what turned her on).
I find this all very interesting. I really wonder why she tried the IT guy in the first place. She's an independant woman and she can do without a guy, so it's not that she needs someone for survival. If you are not attraced to someone and also don't need a man to survive, why bother inviting him at your home.
Another theory - and this seems most plausible to me - is that he just didn't escalate in the way he was expected to. I myself for sure wouldn't sleep in one bed with a girl several times without things happening. It's either be in the same bed and have sex or both sleep in your own bed. Maybe because of this she doesn't see the guy as attractive or a prospect anymore.
What is your take on this? Why do girls try guys they don't have tingles for? Do girls just hope guys eventually get it and do the right thing (escalate, like a man), or do girls sometimes really think relationships can start on the basis of rational judgement (which implicates they don't really get what drives them, something which is not too implausible either).
She's 29yo single mom that broke up with the father of her child because he cheated on her. After the breakup she had a 'relationship' with a guy (I think he is about the same age) from the IT department of the company I work for. I know the guy because sometimes he fixes things for me. It's a decent guy, not really nerdy for an IT guy but knowledgeable and genuinely good at what he does. I think he is ok and he should theoretically be able to get some nice girls. I think that on a theoretical level the IT guy would have a higher sexual market value than my colleague. She is nice and feminine but might look a little older than she actually is while he has a decent job in a nice company and doesnt even seem too beta.
I almost had respect for the guy because he seemed to handle the situation well, they didnt have an actual relationship that was publicly announced and I think very few people knew about them being together (I knew about them because she told me in confidence and I also saw them on the streets of my city together in a weekend). If this was the situation and he was still ****ing her then he seemed to know what he was doing. For some time I really thought he did know what he was doing. It all seemed kind of plausible. Just, why not.
After like 4 months however my colleague told me she had broken up with the IT guy and she stressed she hadn't ****ed him. They had been in bed together a couple of times but nothing had happened 'because she couln't bring herself to it'. She told me although he is a very decent guy she couln't feel attraction for him and now actually was trying to get back with her ex, because that was the guy she did feel love for. She also told me that 'because of her bad youth' she probably was ****ed in the head for having such strange preferences (I told her attraction isn't a choice and she shouldn't apologize for what turned her on).
I find this all very interesting. I really wonder why she tried the IT guy in the first place. She's an independant woman and she can do without a guy, so it's not that she needs someone for survival. If you are not attraced to someone and also don't need a man to survive, why bother inviting him at your home.
Another theory - and this seems most plausible to me - is that he just didn't escalate in the way he was expected to. I myself for sure wouldn't sleep in one bed with a girl several times without things happening. It's either be in the same bed and have sex or both sleep in your own bed. Maybe because of this she doesn't see the guy as attractive or a prospect anymore.
What is your take on this? Why do girls try guys they don't have tingles for? Do girls just hope guys eventually get it and do the right thing (escalate, like a man), or do girls sometimes really think relationships can start on the basis of rational judgement (which implicates they don't really get what drives them, something which is not too implausible either).
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