Cognitive Psychology

[ALPHAROMEO]

the answer is as always is IN COGNITIVE PSYCHOLGY and in the concept of ALL OR NOTHING THINKING ( check out AARON BECK david burns
when you lose at something you tend to think you re a loser a total loser you may have failed once twice but that doesn t make you a loser

check out LINCOLN HE FAILED AT EVERYTHING MAYOR GOVERNOR SENATOR ) uNtil he became arguably the greatest U S president ever

check out EDISON and the electric bulb on google ( same succession of seemingly SO CALLED failures



THE IMPORTANCE OF WINNING AT ANY COST HAS BEEN GIVEN TOO MUCH EMPHASIS

EXPECTING SUCCESS THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE A GO AT SOMETHING IS COMPLETELY ILLUSIONARY


use my indirect method for approaching women you might screw up at first but you ll eventually pull it off ( check out my other posts )

 

[pipe007]

Martin Selgman is the father of positive psychology
he has built on this ideas that you mentioned, with a lot of research to back it up on learned optimism and learned helplessness.

check out his book. "learned optimism" is about self improvement, but he gives evidence based on research and not just personal opinion.
really great book on cognitive psychology as well

 

[Dukester101]

Alpha-

What you just described is what's known as the "self fulfilling prophecy."

It applies to winning, losing, and any way of thinking.

For example, if your dad constantly puts you down all the time, you're going to think you're a loser... and your actions will reflect that as such, and further reafirm the fact that you are a loser.

However, on the other hand, if all you recieve is positive praise, you will have a positive outlook on life.

The real trick is to think positive, positive, positive. Don't ever tell yourself you CANT do anything. You can do anything you are willing to put your mind to doing. Defeat, in many cases, is self applied.

What people fail to realize is that failure is not failure unless you refuse to build or learn from it. A mistake is not a mistake unless you fail to correct it.

This all effects confidence, which in my opinion, is the main thing for anybody seeking anything in life.