Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Changing your reputation

Sting

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2001
Messages
652
Reaction score
9
Came across a posting in the Discussion forum on rebuilding a damaged reputation. While difficult, it's not impossible. I did a quick web search to see if someone had written on the issue (to save me the trouble), and came across the following, which although not exactly addressing the issue, may nonetheless prove helpful for those here trying to change their reputations for the better.

Without further ado:

Changing Your Reputation
Things You Can Try

I know that changing your rep may sound frivolous, even silly, to those who could care less what others think of them. But there are people out there who had a bad string of luck and maybe need some help getting other people to give them "a second chance to make a first impression". There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your reputation, as long as you know that there are no guarantees your new rep will be any better. If you sacrifice good friends for the sake of some invites to "cool" parties, you may be a big LOSER in the end. Any change you make to yourself in the name of reputation should never include exchanging old friends for new ones, or doing things you know are wrong or hurtful. It may happen that you get a new crowd, but you should never sacrifice old friends in doing this. Don't "burn any bridges", don't turn on old pals to impress new ones, and never turn into a nasty gossip hound. Nobody really likes people who build their life by destroying the reps of others. No matter what changes you make to yourself in the name of a "better" social life, never let your quest turn you into something you are not. Always be true to your inner voice and your sense of right and wrong. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it! No reputation in the world is worth losing what it is that makes you "you".

Exercise: find a sport you like and do it as much as possible. Get in to shape or get in to better shape.

Change your hair style, hair color or both.

Get a new "look". Find a new way of dressing, one that better reflects the person you want to be. This doesn't have to be expensive, you can find really cool clothes in thrift shops or consignment stores. Having a cool look is about personal style, not designer labels.

Find a "signature scent", one that is not too overwhelming but that people will identify with you. Use it sparingly, just enough for them to wonder where that great smell is coming from.

Smile.

Stay true to your hobbies and interests and be proud of them, make them "cool" to others just because you say they are!

Grab a cup of confidence! Even if you are Jell-O™ inside, never let 'em see you sweat on the outside.

Care about other people - for real.

Conform, just a little, to the "positive social norms" of the groups you want to be a part of. Ignore or avoid the "negative social norms".

Here's the hard part: have some close friends or family tell you what they really love about you, and what they could live without. Tell them to be truthful and not worry about hurting your feelings. Listen to what they say and take it to heart, this is how others see you. Make a promise to strengthen your good points and eliminate (or at least tame) your bad ones.

Smile some more.

Swallow your shyness and try to be outgoing. Easier said than done for sure. Start easy by smiling at people who catch your eye in the hallway. Wave at friends from across the hall. Try to say "hi" to one new person everyday.

Change your study habits. Being a better student can help your confidence and positively influence how others see you.
Join a school club, committee or team. Get to know people who share your interests.
Own up to any truths about your "bad rep" and tell people you have really changed and just want a chance to prove it. Then really prove it!

------------------
It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...

[This message has been edited by Sting (edited 05-12-2002).]
 

Anubi

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 23, 2002
Messages
131
Reaction score
0
nice post.

this is the task i'm faced with now... to let the chicks in my school know that i'm not that unconfident afc i used to be.
 

TBR

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2002
Messages
62
Reaction score
0
Location
Germany
This is a great post. I am not fast with praising articles, but this one is really good. I am going to work with this one.

Thanks Sting!
 

Sting

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2001
Messages
652
Reaction score
9
The responses to this thread are starting to give credit where it's *not* due.


I'll admit that I had already thought of many of the suggestions before I found the foregoing article on the web, but I must again emphasize that *I* didn't write it.

Then again, it doesn't make the advice any less valid does it?

------------------
It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...
 

Page

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2001
Messages
2,010
Reaction score
1
Age
40
Location
Long Beach, CA.
Useful advice, yet it's useful only in some situations.


At school, if you're a DJ for too long, your success rate will drop b/c chicks get used to you and your effectiveness and mysteriousness starts to disintegrate. Remember the saying "The pool has been pissed in"? Well, in this case, "The pool has become stagnant".

That's why I rarely date chicks at school. If I can be a DJ when I first meet a new chick, things usually turn out better. If i've bee naround a chick for a long time before I start to Dj her, it's way more difficult.
 

IntermediateDonJuaner

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2001
Messages
933
Reaction score
1
Good post,Sting.

This is also one of my problems. I have had a bad reputation before as an AFC but I am no longer the old Intermediate. Unfortunately, I just do not know how to prove to everyone around me that I am now a DJ.

That's sad! I wish there will be more future articles about this topic in the time to come.

Good luck to all DJs
 
Top