Can't Deal with GFs kid

[Robert28]

Hell I’ve met single moms that had a kid/kids I liked and they were still too much trouble to date. Single moms exist to extrapolate your time and resources that you could be using on women that haven’t made bad life decisions and won’t put you second.

 

[Robert28]

She's an investment consultant for a private firm. She's highly intelligent which is why I posted this here. It's not your typical single mom.

What’s the story with her becoming a single mom? Was she married?

 

[jaymbrs]

What’s the story with her becoming a single mom? Was she married?

Yea married and divorced. Ex became a pain killer addict after suffering an injury. Created a hostile environment at home. But I know, I know. "That's just 1 side of it, etc etc".

 

[Robert28]

Yea married and divorced. Ex became a pain killer addict after suffering an injury. Created a hostile environment at home. But I know, I know. "That's just 1 side of it, etc etc".

I guess “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” meant nothing to her.

 

[Alvafe]

Ha. Wouldn't exactly call a woman who makes well over $100k, $750k house as "saving her" but okay. I'm not your typical 32 year old dating a rundown mom because I can't do better. Way off buddy.

so what? sugar mommy thing?

No one is raising anyone else's kid. The dad is still in the picture. I'm just the boyfriend. I already made it clear to my girl that I won't be playing stepdad to her kid. Especially after seeing this kid's true colors. It took a little bit of time for her to get comfortable enough around me to starting acting out of line.

yes keep saying that, maybe one day you will belive, if that was true you wouldn't come here to complain asking for advice, too bad the advice here was not what you wanted, next time ask a female if you doing right they will tell you what you want to hear

 

[Alvafe]

I guess “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” meant nothing to her.

its not always the case?

 

[jaymbrs]

so what? sugar mommy thing?



yes keep saying that, maybe one day you will belive, if that was true you wouldn't come here to complain asking for advice, too bad the advice here was not what you wanted, next time ask a female if you doing right they will tell you what you want to hear

There's a difference between giving advice and making remarks. Just like what you're doing.

 

[Alvafe]

There's a difference between giving advice and making remarks. Just like what you're doing.

I just read rational male today, I recomend you read it too, also if you don't want to heard what people are saying then leave, i'm sure there is some forums who will praise you for dating a single mom, and call you a hero, here? we will call that a fools errant because that is what it is

 

[jaymbrs]

I just read rational male today, I recomend you read it too, also if you don't want to heard what people are saying then leave, i'm sure there is some forums who will praise you for dating a single mom, and call you a hero, here? we will call that a fools errant because that is what it is

I forget half the guys on here can't even get women. So you're probably right. Wrong place to post for advice on making it work with a woman.

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

Ha. Wouldn't exactly call a woman who makes well over $100k, $750k house as "saving her" but okay. I'm not your typical 32 year old dating a rundown mom because I can't do better. Way off buddy.

Even worst, so you're her wife.


You don't get the core concept here. read the rationale male

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

I forget half the guys on here can't even get women. So you're probably right. Wrong place to post for advice on making it work with a woman.

In best cases 20% of the males get the 80% of the sex. You are parenting the kids of a guy that got sex with you gf probably with no effort. And you are one of those guys that can't get a woman, as you mentioned above

ALPHA IS HOW ALPHA DOES

you should unplug yourself

 

[Black Widow Void]

Don't feel too bad. It could be worse.
Judging from some the response you're getting here, you could be involved around a child possessing similar and far worse behavioral / mentality problems.

Ask yourself what your goal is. Is she potential long-term relationships material? If she defended you while the child was being disrespectful, that's a good sign.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

(presumably) She's an only child.
The family unit she believed in has crumbled.
The man (her father) she believed in gives false hope of visits and lets her down.

Have there been many men between you and her husband?
If so, did she once believe in one of them, only to have them also disappear?
Is the woman quick to introduce a new man to the daughter before anything serious develops? That's a red flag btw.
If so, the daughter may not view you as someone that will be consistently around.
Factoring in all (or some of) the above, you are also in competition with the daughter. It sounds like this 11 year old has no foundation other than her mother. And you will be viewed as someone that could divert some of the mother's focus and attention.

In view of the above, you're not going to receive an overnight miracle. You're the adult and she's a child (and also one with what appears some lacking of positive foundation). If the mother is worth the investment, and with your understanding of the above, you'll eventually see some signs of progress, but it will be gradual and not without some fall-backs as well.

 

[ubercat]

Mate been there more than once.. won't go back.

 

[Robert28]

We aren’t saying it isn’t easy to get sucked in and realize you’re in a tough spot when you have no clue how you got there. What we are saying is it doesn’t get better from here cause we’ve all been there.

 

[greatsnake]

Run!!! At best, pump and dump......

Single moms are looking for a daddy to their children. The actual relationship with the woman goes second or even third if you’re lucky..... Check out the text that my former **** buddy (single mom) sent me during a conversation we had after she got into a relationship. Don’t tell me she wants to bang this guy —- he’s just a tool...

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

Run!!! At best, pump and dump......

Single moms are looking for a daddy to their children. The actual relationship with the woman goes second or even third if you’re lucky..... Check out the text that my former **** buddy (single mom) sent me during a conversation we had after she got into a relationship. Don’t tell me she wants to bang this guy —- he’s just a tool...

And in the meanwhile she was dating this guy you two were still banging?

 

[Spaz]

How many times we have spoken on here not to even consider fvcking a single mom much less date em?

OP you're been here long enough to avoid being in this sort of shiethole, you should be ashamed of ur conduct or rather ur inability to get single childless women.

Only ever consider dating single mommies when u r a fat, bald, over 70 and perhaps dying from over exposure to radiation material.

 

[Bokanovsky]

My question to some of you more experienced, is it right to end it with my GF because of her daughter?

Yes. This is not your child. You have no obligations to her or her mother and you have no obligation to deal with someone else's problems.
End of story.

 

[2Rocky]

In short, Moms and kids are a package deal. Can't part them out.

Isn't that what we want in our Long term partners? A devoted mother?

So if you don't want to have a "fixer upper family" don't get emotionally involved with single moms. And be up front with her about that.

Personal anecdote: I have my minor children roughly 50% of the time. I DID NOT want to raise someone else's child, but I wanted a woman who would be a kind and nurturing influence when my daughter was with me. Thus, women with kids younger than mine were automatically eliminated from contention beyond casual acquaintance. As were the childless women in my target age range.

There is nothing wrong with setting a boundary early in a "relationship", but you gotta be in for the whole package, or don't bother. But if you are going to end it because of her child, you need to accept that you can't/won't deal with the situation, not that the situation has changed.

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP, there's quite a bit of bad advice in this thread so let me give you some substantive guidance:

I'm older than most on the this board, 45+, so can speak from experience.

Most of the guys in this thread and on SS are younger to have much single mom experience and many are just too far down the red pill rabbit hole. That being said, there's NOTHING wrong with DATING a single mom. But, you need to keep in mind a few considerations:

Truths--based on personal experience:
- You'll NEVER be #1, her kid will, no matter how disrespectful the kid is to you. You'll probably be in 5th or 6th place: 1, her kid, 2, her job, 3, her needs, 4, parents/relatives, 5, the ex, then maybe you. Can you deal with it?
- Most of the time the ex is still in the picture
- They date like anyone else and the hot ones have throngs of men after them as much as single women
- Single mom's availability is a lot more limited
- They don't have time for BS and "games" that young men play because they don't have a lot of time to invest
-Many do really like sex because once again, they're not out every weekend and just don't have the time

Mostly Myths—"All single moms are”:
-Looking for a provider
-Want a daddy for their kid
-Are on drugs, addicts, etc.
-Losers

I think you need to decide if the whole dynamic is right for you, her kid or not. Maybe you should consider seeing her only when the kid is with the dad or recommend she get a sitter and you two go out or go to your place. Try to minimize the kid's involvement and/or your visits to her house.

I've banged quite a few hot mom's BUT I knew they mostly weren't LTR/gf material because I don't like being in 5th or 6th place, but that's just me.

I do have a date with a single mom on Sunday. Front row, club level at a MLB game. She's Kenyan and hot as a super model. 21 years younger than me. Smart and responsible too. She’s working two jobs as an x-ray tech and taking online classes. She's NOT all the BS mythological single mom crap some spout on this site. Will I marry or LTR her? 100% NO. Will I have a good time on Sunday seeing my favorite MLB team and having food and drinks and laughs with her and maybe f*uck her? Yes. So what's the big problem with that? Nothing.

Go out and have fun but keep it all in perspective and keep yourself and your needs #1--always.

Good luck.

~Dash~