Can You Friendzone a Friendzone?

[BudaBing]

Background - Theres this woman I've seen around the gym for about 6 months. She's no babe in the looks dept just probably around a 6. Not ugly but moderately attractive.

However, like me, she's super fit. I mean like hot bod super babe fit. She has been working out since she was a kid, gymnastics etc, and now doing gym workouts 5-6 days a week and that is what primarily attracts me. As well as being in her mid 20's age I'd say.

I haven't been actively pursuing her over the last 6 months but I am definitely getting IOI's from her as we occasionally interact.

So I say to myself, "ok I'll get her number".

Some flirty conversation ensues during a recent conversation and I ask her for her phone number. I got the much talked about on sosuave "I have a boyfriend".

Now I'm a black and white type of guy (on decisions). I don't get into the "well maybe she doesn't have a boyfriend maybe she's testing me" etc. If she says she has a boyfriend then I'm done pursuing. That's just me.

One of the reasons, among many reasons, for the "I have a boyfriend" (this one mentioned by Rollo Tomassi on this board) is she is "Proactively LJBF". So I assume I just got LJBF. I'm a little disappointed but no biggie as there's no time invested etc.

Now I thought to myself "ok your comment implies you want to be friends that's cool too" and I said with no particular interest just matter of fact type of tone, while holding out my hand "Still friends"? and shook her hand and then left.

The next time I saw her at the gym she was talking on the phone which she has never done ever at least around me. Odd I thought.

Questions;

1. Did I just unwittingly throw the LJBF back in her face (Friendzone a Friendzone) ?
2. Was her being on the phone for the first time ever her sending the message I actually do have a boyfriend for real or I'm just pretending I have a boyfriend because YOU (that's me) just LJBF'd ME (her) and I am embarrassed and I feel I have lower value so I have to fake I have a boyfriend by pretending to be on the phone with my "boyfriend" ?

Just curious. Thanks.

 

[Uncharted]

No you basically got rejected. If she brought up a BF that early, that's what happened. When you said OK let's still be friends, you were just accepting that rejection.

I've gotten phone numbers and asked out women who I KNEW had boyfriends and they didn't mention them.

 

[playa99]

I've had numbers off girls who have had BF's when it's blatantly obvious there taken.. If i were you i'd take it in your stride and move on to some more hottie's in the gym, indifference could pull her round. Like uncharted said, you did get rejected, move on, not worth the time.

 

[Your_Royal_Flyness]

You're "loitering" over this chick. 6 months is way too long to put your bid in. Most chicks know within 6 mins whether you can get the booty, let along 6 months.

If you have any hope of getting her at this point, the MOST EFFECTIVE way to tip the odds in your favor is to get at one of her homegirls. And keep things real brief or limit interactions with this chick. Its a win/win. Either the friendzoned chick will come around. Or she won't and you got a new chick. Lesson: no more loitering. Just invite a chick to kick it with you. In that 6month timespan, she's probably getting it IN with various dudes. Next time, make sure you're one of them.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she doesn't. Who cares? Either way she's not interested in you. If I were you I'd forget this one and just focus on your workout.

 

[Megaman XIV]

LJBF is a rejection.

IHAB is also a rejection.

Your princess is in another castle. She long rejected you.

And don't believe IOI's all the time either. It's just a way of flirting. Those are the facts.

Get equipped.

 

[DonGorgon]

non of this matters ... fact is if she liked you enough she would still F you with or with ought having a BF.. women cheat on their BFs all the damn time... and they also use having a BF as an excuse to avoid men they dont like FACT

 

[BudaBing]

Well, you know the old saying "better rejection than regret". Still no fun though.

Lessons learned here;

Strike while the iron is hot (if it ever was which I'm pretty sure it was). I didn't though. My bad.

I know she's still secretly in love with me though. J/K

Next.

Whats funny is I haven't seen one guy approach her much less talked to her since I've first seen her at the gym 6 months ago. Fit bod but again only a around a 6 in looks as mentioned above. She must be getting it from guys outside the gym who don't work out I guess.

Thanks for your thoughts and input guys.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

It is amazing that nobody on this board seems to believe that sometimes a girl actually does have a bf and is happy with him. lol

You're all so fuvking pessimistic.

 

[BudaBing]

It is amazing that nobody on this board seems to believe that sometimes a girl actually does have a bf and is happy with him. lol

That's a definite possibility but no matter what the underlying reason once she says IHAB its bad news.

Even if shes actually interested in you but just sh1t testing you it's bad news because then you have a girl who thinks she's a level above you daring to sh1t test you.

No matter how you slice it it's resistance and that's a bad way to start.

Best to move on. Too many women out there to be fighting an uphill battle with just that one.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

That's a definite possibility but no matter what the underlying reason once she says IHAB its bad news.

Even if shes actually interested in you but just sh1t testing you it's bad news because then you have a girl who thinks she's a level above you daring to sh1t test you.

No matter how you slice it it's resistance and that's a bad way to start.

Best to move on. Too many women out there to be fighting an uphill battle with just that one.

Yeah regardless of the issue or interpretation, I totally agree. Ignore and move on for sure. No point in dwelling about the girl, plenty more to meet out there.

 

[Zerro]

It is amazing that nobody on this board seems to believe that sometimes a girl actually does have a bf and is happy with him. lol

You're all so fuvking pessimistic.

Agreed, this board has been a bit over pessimistic and misogynist lately. Be on your guard yes but believing that every woman you meet is a lying cheating ***** must be a depressing way to live.

 

[BudaBing]

Update: Yes she actually did/does have a boyfriend. While at the gym I seen her working out with him and then leaving with him later on.

TillTheEndOfTime was right.

Well least now I'm sure it wasn't 100% my fault because I waited too long to ask for her number.

 

[Uncharted]

It is amazing that nobody on this board seems to believe that sometimes a girl actually does have a bf and is happy with him. lol

I'm sure this happens, but women delay the IHAB to me ALL THE TIME. Especially when they either want attention or are interested in me.

For example, I have a coworker that I know has a crush on me (I don't date coworkers). I specifically overheard her say she was out with her boyfriend on Cinco de Mayo when I walked by her cube (she didn't see me). I saw her an hour later at lunch and asked her what she did on Sunday night (5 de Mayo). Answer: "Nothing much hung out with friends".

No mention of boyfriend!