Can you be too friendly?

[frank05]

I'm a very friendly person (not AFCish, just warm).
I also like to help people and care for them.
However, sometimes I'm getting the impression that some people see you as submissive if you are friendly to them.
Should I act differently to this other people?

 

[Littledude]

Being friendly in the sense of socializing and not being an a**hole is fine. I mean sometimes you want to throw in some jokes about a girl and tease them about it, but just don't be mean to them unless they are to you first. Helping out FRIENDS is ok and giving them advice on stuff is alright, UNLESS you see that person as a girl you want to do stuff with. IF you are planning on DJing some girl, make sure you aren't a psychologist with them.

Just make sure that they know that you are after them. Ask a lot of questions and try to work off of them to be ****y and funny. However, don't concentrate on any of these too much because I tend to overthink things, which end in disaster.

Also, if you sense that a girl is asking for too many favors, especially if it's like physical jobs that you know they can do for themselves, then just say no or say "maybe later". Don't do favors that you konw they can perform, such as taking out lunch trash, or picking up a pencil that fell right in front of her. She does have hands, she can pick it up.

Remember... "Moderation in All Things"

 

[DJDamage]

Only care for your family and the friends who earn your respect. If you start to care for everyone because you have some belief that "we should take care of each other mentality" then drop it because you will be taken advantage of. Be careful not to become a girl's emotional tampon because you care too much.

Its not your job to clean up other people's problems. If you care about people volunteer somewhere and make it part of your life but seperate that when you meet people.

Being friendly is good just make sure that you act according to a given situation. If someone disrespect you badly and you act all friendly, then you will be preceieved as submissive.

 

[Chemistry]

Drop the caring... there's not enough minutes in a day to start worrying about how everyone else is doing, just look out for you, and then extend it to your close family...

Nothing wrong with being warm... just don't mistake it with being submissive, where you attract people because they see a use in you, not because they are intrigued and want to be around you

But definitely, keep friendly... girls walk past you in the hall, smile at them... I mean even the 4s and 5s, don't hold no prejudice

 

[I-am-someone]

Just take this into your mind:

If you help someone and they don't have to do anything to get you to help them, they will consider the help as a friendly gesture, but attach no real value to it.

Helping without demanding something in return is good, as long as it makes you feel better and you're doing it because of that. If you're helping someone with something that you don't really like doing, or something that makes you feel frustrated, make sure you're getting something in return so it's an equal deal, otherwise you'll just be left unhappy and they'll be left emberassed for asking you.

I used to help people out with their schoolwork all the time because it made me feel good. Last week I helped a girl out of her life-long depression (not sure if she's completely out of it, but at least she has a proper direction in her life now), because it made me feel good about myself and because I wanted to see her happy which would in turn make me feel good again.

Today, somebody asked me to fix some computer problems for him, pretending like I was some kind of helpdesk. I told him to fvck off, because I didn't like doing it and nothing was being offered in return. Simple as that, no hard feelings.

Whenever someone asks you for something that they would otherwise have to pay for, tell them your hourly fee for doing it. They'll immediatly realise that you asking that is a fair deal.
Example:
"Could you help me design this logo some time?"
"Sure, I usually charge €15 per hour but I'll make it €10 for you" ...
He's expecting it for free, I'm telling him how it's supposed to work and nobody will ever protest.


Be helpful, but don't ever forget the simple rule:
Always make sure you get something in return.

 

[Scought]

What happened to Karma?

Ill do things because I know good things will be returned to me.
Plus, I like to be dependable. Whether they appreciate it or not, I know what the situation/score is.

 

[Jariel]

Be careful you're not being perceived as a pushover as some b1tches will take advantage. However, there's nothing wrong with being friendly, generous and caring, just as long as it's on your terms and is never done as a means of supplication.

 

[Trance]

Are you like this to girls?

You gotta state your intentions clearly from the start with a girl you're knowing, showing to be a potential lover and not a potential friend if you got interest.

 

[Kidd]

Originally posted by frank05
I'm a very friendly person (not AFCish, just warm).
I also like to help people and care for them.
However, sometimes I'm getting the impression that some people see you as submissive if you are friendly to them.
Should I act differently to this other people?

I am a friendly person too, and yes, people TRY to take advantage. However, I dont let anyone take advantage/walk over me.

You dont have to change to other people. Just have self-respect.