Can anyone proofread my letter?

[ROOKIE OF THE YEAR]

I want this letter to be effective as possible. English is my second language, so please don't mind.

January 5, 2009,

My neighbors and I are very disturbed because there are whole bunch of people outside our homes who are consistently out of control. These people would loiter, play loud music outdoor, make noises (screaming, shouting, yelling), play cards, graffiti, litter, throw objects, and pound on the electric circuit boxes. Making matter worse, they seemed to not mind their own business. For example, sometimes when my family watches TV, the people outside would make even louder noises as if they are proving a point. They would go on making all sorts of ruckus whether it’s daytime or nighttime.

Many of the neighbors are too scared to call security because we are threatened by these people. Few of us had already complained to the security officers and the management center. However, no results took place. We even told the people outside to stop. Not only they didn’t listen, but these people would purposely pursue their negative actions even further.

We are living in an unsafe and unmerciful environment for way too long. My neighbors and I believe we have the rights to live in a peaceful and quiet home of Kukui Gardens. We are looking forward to a resolution of these problems as soon as possible.

 

[Drewskie]

The letter does need work, however, who are you sending it to? The landlord of the building? The police? If so, the grammar is'nt that important. The purpose is to inform them of the bothersome neighbors, and the letter does that well. If the landlords care at all, they will do something about the situation at hand.

However:
My neighbors and I are very disturbed over something that has been happening around our homes/building. There are one or more groups of people that constantlt loiter in front of the homes and when doing so they make loud noise and music, litter and grafitti our properties, throw objects, and vandalize property. They seem to target their disruptive acttvities directly at our neighborhood, like making extra loud noise when they know we are watching television, both during the day and through the night.

Many of the neighbors are afraid to call security because they have been threatened by these individuals. Some of the neighbors have complained to security, but nothing has been done to stop the behavior. When we have asked them personally to leave, they did not listen and even escalated their destructive behavior.
We feel that we have been dealing with this issue for much too long and would like it resolved immediately. We do not feel safe in out K..... garden community and are hoping this will be addressed and handled as soon as possible. thank you.

 

[The Bat]

January 5, 2009,

My neighbors and I are very disturbed because there are whole bunch of people outside our homes who are consistently out of control. These people would loiter, play loud music outdoor, make noises (screaming, shouting, yelling), play cards, graffiti, litter, throw objects, and pound on the electric circuit boxes. Making matter worse, they seemed to not mind their own business. For example, sometimes when my family watches TV, the people outside would make even louder noises as if they are proving a point. They would go on making all sorts of ruckus whether it’s daytime or nighttime.

Many of the neighbors are too scared to call security because we are threatened by these people. Few of us had already complained to the security officers and the management center. However, no results took place. We even told the people outside to stop. Not only they didn’t listen, but these people would purposely pursue their negative actions even further.

We are living in an unsafe and unmerciful environment for way too long. My neighbors and I believe we have the rights to live in a peaceful and quiet home of Kukui Gardens. We are looking forward to a resolution of these problems as soon as possible.

My family and the neighbors are being inconvenienced and disturbed due to a group of certain individuals loitering outside our homes. They play very loud music, scream, shout, yell, and play various board games that eventually leads to more screaming, shouting, and yelling. They also graffiti, litter, vandalize, and damage properties such as electric circuit boxes. They are very abrasive and intimidating in their behaviors. For example, when my family is relaxing and watching television, these individuals start shouting and screaming to mock my family's recreational activity.

We are afraid to call security since we have been threatened by these individuals. There were some complaints made to the security officers and the management; however the problems remain unresolved. When we asked these individuals to leave, not only they refused, they escalated their rude behaviors.

Kukui Gardens had been a very peaceful and respectful neighborhood. However, these individuals are tarnishing that reputation. We look forward to getting this problem resolved in a timely manner and thank you for your efforts.

 

[Drewskie]

Damn, that's a good letter right there. Hopefully he uses yours. English major?