"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Can anyone explain to me why old flames always return?

drixsa

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I do not get it i really do not.

every girl at one point or another always comes back, or tries to start things up again, or starts IM'ing you online then calling.

why can't they just go away forever?

why do women do this?

somebody give me a good answer.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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tobby

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I'm not a lady's man, but I have a lot of older sisters so I know alot about girls. Usually old flames come during the in-between boyfriend stage. When they have no boyfriend or other girls to hang out with, they call up their exes to try and hang out abit and have a "boyfriend" while they're searching for another one.
 

drZaius09

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It's very simple, its the same reason why they do anything at all--Attention! From the closest and most easily manipulated male source... and that my friend, is you. Usually it amounts to nothing more than a mindf#ck ball-tease, where you provide the ego boost and she provides the sexual frustration. It will continue until you fall to the back of the line (i.e., there are more recent exes she can exploit/that are easier to exploit), or until you start ignoring all her efforts to communicate entirely.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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They come back because of their inner need to prove to themselves that they are still desirable. Heavens forbid you don't fall for their attempts at reconciliation, or even plain friendship. If you show no interest, it hits their psyche and self esteem pretty hard.
 

PeeGee

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my ex did that to her prior ex once -- sent the guy an email with a 'we haven't talked in years let's catch up' type of thing.

Is it that hard to pretend or at least just say outright that you have no clue who she is?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by PeeGee
Is it that hard to pretend or at least just say outright that you have no clue who she is?
Why pretend that you don't know her? Why not just turn her down?
 

aftershock

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They contact you for the reasons above, but there is a possibility that they want to use you for some sympathetic ex-sex.

I put exes in the box marked "Waste". I don't ever put them in the one that says "Recycling".
 

DreamyChick

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I have a question why do guys go back to their exes after 3 or 4 times when they say they have learned it won't work?
 

DreamyChick

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Figures why work for it when you dont have to eh?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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comminback

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I'm with drixsa, booty call.

Just be sure that you use protection AND pull out! (unless she swallows :D )

You don't want that ***** preggo, and always remember, she is an ex for a reason!!!

Comminback!
 

escobar04

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what a coincidence and a perfect topic for me

I have a question

so I open my myspace and there's a messege ( not from an ex, but froma chick that LJBF'ed me like 4 months ago and we haven't talked since then)

I decided not to reply for now

what do you advise for me to do

keep in mind, she isn't an ex
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by DreamyChick
I have a question why do guys go back to their exes after 3 or 4 times when they say they have learned it won't work?
Either an attempt to prove something to themselves or superinflated feelings of hope.
 

Porky

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I don't know.

I was under the impression that once it's over, it's over. that's it.
 

MrS

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Frncisco has the answers to this thread, mate.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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