"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Calling all Oxytocin users! (and people with Asperger's Syndrome)

monkeegutz

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Well, in my (few) posts here, Ive commented that I have Asperger's syndrome. I've been doing my homework and figured a few things out...I thought I might share them.

I was researching about the physiological differences between people with AS (asperger's) and normal people when I found that people diagnosed with AS have a very statistically significant decrease in blood oxytocin levels compared with normal people. Read the study abstract found *here* (I'm afraid I can't show the full articles; you have to pay for them).

In addition, two studies *here* and *here* Show that oxytocin both improves social cognition and decreases repetitive motions. However the effect was not necessarily immediate (the studies did not show improvement until the second testing). This shows (in my opinion) that oxytocin is not directly affecting the ability of people with AS to be social, but rather giving us the ability to learn social skills (thus the time necessary before oxytocin caused a measurable effect)

So... I had my dad steal some oxytocin from the anesthesia cart at the hospital (stuffs dirt cheap haha). I give myself .16 units, nasally (mixed into a saline nasal spray at .2U/ml) every morning and evening. The effects (to me) were massive. I can recognize people now (couldn't before), and I have no problem with eye contact or body language, or any of my other characteristic Asperger's Syndrome problems. Cool, huh?

Now, the weird thing is this: Oxytocin has a 3 minute blood half life! The studies I posted above both waited days (or weeks!) before retesting their subjects, but there was still a massive effect despite that. I have no idea why this could be...especially considering that oxytocin does not cross the blood-brain barrier. My best guess is that a metabolite of oxytocin crosses, explaining the length of the effects.

I'm also beginning to suspect that the ability to recognize people also falls under the category of 'social skills'; I recognized successfully someone from a picture who I had certainly not seen since I had gotten on oxytocin. The picture was flashed for but an instant: I would have never, NEVER been able to do that before, and furthermore, it shows that people with Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness: many people with AS also express this trait) can recognize *anyone* they've met before once they learn the 'skill' for recognition.

There is still a clear problem with oxytocin though: The chronic effects of an oxytocin overdose on the brain are completely unknown. I also do not know the duration or minimum effective dosage. I have been searching for the normal blood concentration of oxytocin in a non-AS person, but to no avail.

So, all that being said, I'm putting a call out to anyone who uses (or has used) oxytocin. While it's clear that its effects on people with AS are massive (and well beyond the placebo effect), we still have a lot to learn. Please post your experiences (even if you don't have AS). Include the dosage you used, how often you took it, and the effects it had on you, as well as if you have AS or another autism spectrum disorder. Also please pipe in if you have access to one of the paid medical article databases; they're expensive and I, frankly cant afford them. I would also greatly appreciate it if anyone who knows the normal blood concentration of oxytocin could pipe in.

Thanks everyone!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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CaptainSaveAHo

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nice research, but personally asperger/autism is just a psychologically created personality feature and not a disorder that people think it really is.
 

orly

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This is very interesting.

Is this something that can be prescribed by a doctor?

Off to Google to search I guess.
 

monkeegutz

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CaptainSaveAHo said:
nice research, but personally asperger/autism is just a psychologically created personality feature and not a disorder that people think it really is.
I honestly respect your belief that Asperger's is just a personality trait, and I think it's pretty reasonable too... I worked at becoming socially functional for three years without using oxytocin... But there were certain elements, like the intolerable fear when making eye contact and my complete inability to recognize anyone (and I'm talking about even my parents) that are clearly not parts of my personality but a mental dysfunction. But yes, I think that most of the issues that Asperger's Syndrome people have can be managed without drugs (it just takes longer ;))
 
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