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www.happierabroad.com/Advice_Asian_Men.htm
Brutal Truth Dating Advice to Asian American Men (by my consultant)
It is no secret now that Asian men in America have
problems dating. There have been several programs on
TV already describing the fact that as an Asian man,
you have harder time finding a mate than your
Caucasian, African-American or Hispanic counterparts.
There have been articles in magazines and newspapers
addressing the same problem and describing its causes
(and effects). Few such programs or articles, however,
offer solutions to such men, and many still find
themselves lonely and bitter, although sometimes
pitied. However, more often than not, they simply end
up lonesome and dateless.
The deal seems to be this: Many Caucasian women in the
US do not find Asian American men manly enough to
consider them dating material. Many Asian women also
prefer Caucasian men, and the ones who prefer Asian
men, are apparently not enough to go around.
The US media often portrays Asian men as dorky
buffoons, skinny and freaky martial arts experts,
mathematics nerds, clumsy immigrants with mangled
English of the ‘flied lice’ variety”, noodle shop
cooks or laundry managers, and not as being as
powerful and confident as White or African American
males, or as romantic as Hispanic men. Plus,
throughout the history of the US, Asian countries were
enemies whose males were to be killed on the
battlefield, and whose women were to be taken home to
mom as war brides after their men lie dead in the
jungle or at the bottom of the sea.
In other cases, Asian countries were often suppliers
of poor workers or indigent immigrants of all kinds to
provide cheap labors in developed, most often
Caucasian countries. Also, in the past, Asian
Americans, period, were victims of serious
discrimination coming from the government, a practice
which has since been abolished but whose residues
still haunt Asian men even today as they are not seen
as fully American by the US society. None of the above
has helped to create an image of a virile and
dependable Asian male, a potentially desirable mate
for American women to date and marry.
With the great improvements in Civil Rights, and the
general feeling of guilt coming from mainstream
population groups (whoever they may be) the situation
of the Asian minority has improved significantly, for
sure. The pejorative word “Oriental” has been stricken
down from printed materials and is avoided in daily
speech. The proud term “Asian American” has been born.
Asian men are in the government and politics, they run
successful businesses, they are achievers in the field
of science and technology, law and medicine However,
as far as American women of all colors seeing an Asian
American man as a preferred dating and marriage
partner goes, the state of affairs still leaves a lot
to be desired. In short, if you are an Asian man in
America, citizen or not, native-born or not, fluent in
English or not, rich or poor, you will have problems
dating ladies there.
Those Asian men, who feel that they are being
discriminated against on the US love market, resort to
several ways of dealing with the problem:
1) Ignoring it and playing the numbers game. If one
goes through enough dating ads, attends enough parties
and invites enough women out, there will be a number
of women who will want to date, and possibly have a
serious relationship with you. The men who go down the
path of copious dating and selection will disregard
any flak that comes their way in the process, and come
out winners in the end. That is a good strategy except
that it is not very likely that one could end up with
a high quality female partner in the end if one stops
his search too early. If one still continues dating,
ignores numerous rejections, and sieves through any
unreliable partners that appear in the process, one
will end up with a prize- a good and honest woman to
be one’s companion in life. But boy, it is going to
take a really long time, believe me!
It is a rather daunting course of action, and is
not suitable for every Asian man, especially not for
those who come from a background that emphasizes
modesty and non-aggressiveness.
2) Developing a complex and hatred of American men of
other races, particularly those of the Caucasian race,
and writing articles and posts on the Internet
newsgroups and bulletin boards complaining about lack
of dates and the prejudice against Asian American men.
Interviews with commiserating media and videos on
youtube.com also become a vent for the frustrations of
such men. The hope is that the US society will change
and they will suddenly become accepted and welcomed as
romantic companions and more. This approach, while a
good therapy for one’s psychological state, is still
not very effective in procuring potential dates any
time in the near future. In the end, one is either
angry and militaristically racist, and supported only
by other frustrated Asian men, or one is felt sorry
for. In both cases, one still often remains dateless.
3) Bringing a female partner from the Old Country.
For some reason, this approach is seen as un-cool by a
big number of Asian American men. They see it as a
step back, and feel that a woman from the Old Country
will become a burden on the already Americanized
husband, what with her old-fashioned customs and
behavior which will interfere with the further
acceptance of the couple and their children into the
American society. Only very traditional, mature in
age, or religious Asian men seem to opt for that
route; not the majority of the Asian male population
of the country.
4) Finally, there has recently been a trend among US
citizens of Asian extraction to date internationally.
One can call this trend Romantic
Multi-Nationalization. What happens is that after
having discovered the US love market to be of
unsatisfactory performance in the area of providing
them with dating opportunities, such men have decided
to cross oceans and date in other countries. They have
finally had the courage to claim a very important
truth: It is not their fault that the US society has
such stereotypes of them. It is not their fault that
Hollywood often portrays them as emasculated persons
who are not worthy of being admired by the opposite
sex. It is really the fault of the modern (and past)
US culture and the media which reflects it. Also,
since the Hollywood culture has infused its
stereotypes into many other countries making things
harder for Asian men all over the English-speaking
world, one needs to find a culture in which such
stereotypes have not yet spoiled things for Asian men.
The trend of Asian Americans traveling to other
nations in search of romantic opportunities is growing
as they are now discovering huge areas on Earth where
they are seen for what most of them truly are:
diligent, intelligent, honest and dependable Americans
with excellent work and business ethics, a great deal
of talent, gentleman-ness, decency and a sense of
responsibility that should make any female proud.
Also, in many countries the stereotypes of Asian men
are very positive to begin with. They are seen as
smart, sexy, brave, adventurous and as excellent
providers, too. They are not viewed as poor
immigrants running noodle shops, but as progressive
and confident modern Alfa-males. Yes, it is true. Go
to such places and see for yourself.
Brutal Truth Dating Advice to Asian American Men (by my consultant)
It is no secret now that Asian men in America have
problems dating. There have been several programs on
TV already describing the fact that as an Asian man,
you have harder time finding a mate than your
Caucasian, African-American or Hispanic counterparts.
There have been articles in magazines and newspapers
addressing the same problem and describing its causes
(and effects). Few such programs or articles, however,
offer solutions to such men, and many still find
themselves lonely and bitter, although sometimes
pitied. However, more often than not, they simply end
up lonesome and dateless.
The deal seems to be this: Many Caucasian women in the
US do not find Asian American men manly enough to
consider them dating material. Many Asian women also
prefer Caucasian men, and the ones who prefer Asian
men, are apparently not enough to go around.
The US media often portrays Asian men as dorky
buffoons, skinny and freaky martial arts experts,
mathematics nerds, clumsy immigrants with mangled
English of the ‘flied lice’ variety”, noodle shop
cooks or laundry managers, and not as being as
powerful and confident as White or African American
males, or as romantic as Hispanic men. Plus,
throughout the history of the US, Asian countries were
enemies whose males were to be killed on the
battlefield, and whose women were to be taken home to
mom as war brides after their men lie dead in the
jungle or at the bottom of the sea.
In other cases, Asian countries were often suppliers
of poor workers or indigent immigrants of all kinds to
provide cheap labors in developed, most often
Caucasian countries. Also, in the past, Asian
Americans, period, were victims of serious
discrimination coming from the government, a practice
which has since been abolished but whose residues
still haunt Asian men even today as they are not seen
as fully American by the US society. None of the above
has helped to create an image of a virile and
dependable Asian male, a potentially desirable mate
for American women to date and marry.
With the great improvements in Civil Rights, and the
general feeling of guilt coming from mainstream
population groups (whoever they may be) the situation
of the Asian minority has improved significantly, for
sure. The pejorative word “Oriental” has been stricken
down from printed materials and is avoided in daily
speech. The proud term “Asian American” has been born.
Asian men are in the government and politics, they run
successful businesses, they are achievers in the field
of science and technology, law and medicine However,
as far as American women of all colors seeing an Asian
American man as a preferred dating and marriage
partner goes, the state of affairs still leaves a lot
to be desired. In short, if you are an Asian man in
America, citizen or not, native-born or not, fluent in
English or not, rich or poor, you will have problems
dating ladies there.
Those Asian men, who feel that they are being
discriminated against on the US love market, resort to
several ways of dealing with the problem:
1) Ignoring it and playing the numbers game. If one
goes through enough dating ads, attends enough parties
and invites enough women out, there will be a number
of women who will want to date, and possibly have a
serious relationship with you. The men who go down the
path of copious dating and selection will disregard
any flak that comes their way in the process, and come
out winners in the end. That is a good strategy except
that it is not very likely that one could end up with
a high quality female partner in the end if one stops
his search too early. If one still continues dating,
ignores numerous rejections, and sieves through any
unreliable partners that appear in the process, one
will end up with a prize- a good and honest woman to
be one’s companion in life. But boy, it is going to
take a really long time, believe me!
It is a rather daunting course of action, and is
not suitable for every Asian man, especially not for
those who come from a background that emphasizes
modesty and non-aggressiveness.
2) Developing a complex and hatred of American men of
other races, particularly those of the Caucasian race,
and writing articles and posts on the Internet
newsgroups and bulletin boards complaining about lack
of dates and the prejudice against Asian American men.
Interviews with commiserating media and videos on
youtube.com also become a vent for the frustrations of
such men. The hope is that the US society will change
and they will suddenly become accepted and welcomed as
romantic companions and more. This approach, while a
good therapy for one’s psychological state, is still
not very effective in procuring potential dates any
time in the near future. In the end, one is either
angry and militaristically racist, and supported only
by other frustrated Asian men, or one is felt sorry
for. In both cases, one still often remains dateless.
3) Bringing a female partner from the Old Country.
For some reason, this approach is seen as un-cool by a
big number of Asian American men. They see it as a
step back, and feel that a woman from the Old Country
will become a burden on the already Americanized
husband, what with her old-fashioned customs and
behavior which will interfere with the further
acceptance of the couple and their children into the
American society. Only very traditional, mature in
age, or religious Asian men seem to opt for that
route; not the majority of the Asian male population
of the country.
4) Finally, there has recently been a trend among US
citizens of Asian extraction to date internationally.
One can call this trend Romantic
Multi-Nationalization. What happens is that after
having discovered the US love market to be of
unsatisfactory performance in the area of providing
them with dating opportunities, such men have decided
to cross oceans and date in other countries. They have
finally had the courage to claim a very important
truth: It is not their fault that the US society has
such stereotypes of them. It is not their fault that
Hollywood often portrays them as emasculated persons
who are not worthy of being admired by the opposite
sex. It is really the fault of the modern (and past)
US culture and the media which reflects it. Also,
since the Hollywood culture has infused its
stereotypes into many other countries making things
harder for Asian men all over the English-speaking
world, one needs to find a culture in which such
stereotypes have not yet spoiled things for Asian men.
The trend of Asian Americans traveling to other
nations in search of romantic opportunities is growing
as they are now discovering huge areas on Earth where
they are seen for what most of them truly are:
diligent, intelligent, honest and dependable Americans
with excellent work and business ethics, a great deal
of talent, gentleman-ness, decency and a sense of
responsibility that should make any female proud.
Also, in many countries the stereotypes of Asian men
are very positive to begin with. They are seen as
smart, sexy, brave, adventurous and as excellent
providers, too. They are not viewed as poor
immigrants running noodle shops, but as progressive
and confident modern Alfa-males. Yes, it is true. Go
to such places and see for yourself.
