"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Broke 5 month NC - Feeling Terrible & Guilty – Why am I feeling like this?

Heisenberg

Don Juan
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foreverace87 said:
Hahaha...Heisenberg you are killing me. :)
I hope not literally! Whatever option allows you to move on the fastest, pick that one. No matter the cost. In the future, never try to help out a woman (who is not your wife) with her finances.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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foreverace87

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Heisenberg said:
I hope not literally! Whatever option allows you to move on the fastest, pick that one. No matter the cost. In the future, never try to help out a woman (who is not your wife) with her finances.
She wants me to pay half of her attorney fees (that she claims she used to get away from her ex to be with me)...is that my responsibility?
 

Heisenberg

Don Juan
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foreverace87 said:
She wants me to pay half of her attorney fees (that she claims she used to get away from her ex to be with me)...is that my responsibility?
Why are you asking me? I'm not the judge of right or wrong in the universe. Nor is anybody else on here. It's your life. Nobody is making you do anything. She's not making you do anything - as far as I can tell, she was out of your life until you broke NC.

Now that I've given you that disclaimer and you know that you should do whatever feels right to you regardless of anybody's opinions on here: THOSE ATTORNEY FEES ARE NOT, REPEAT, NOT AT FCKING ALL, your responsibility!

You're doing what I did years ago when I felt guilty after a breakup because a girl left a job/friends behind for me. But you know what I realized? She was a grown up. She made her own choices. She deals with the consequences. And this girl I'm referencing actually told me that. She didn't feel nearly as bad about her life situation post-breakup as I did.

You've driven yourself crazy, forcing this girl's problems on to you. Don't you have your own sh*t to worry about? If not, go challenge yourself somehow. Get a hobby. Build a birdhouse. Whatever.
 

foreverace87

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Heisenberg said:
Why are you asking me? I'm not the judge of right or wrong in the universe. Nor is anybody else on here. It's your life. Nobody is making you do anything. She's not making you do anything - as far as I can tell, she was out of your life until you broke NC.

Now that I've given you that disclaimer and you know that you should do whatever feels right to you regardless of anybody's opinions on here: THOSE ATTORNEY FEES ARE NOT, REPEAT, NOT AT FCKING ALL, your responsibility!

You're doing what I did years ago when I felt guilty after a breakup because a girl left a job/friends behind for me. But you know what I realized? She was a grown up. She made her own choices. She deals with the consequences. And this girl I'm referencing actually told me that. She didn't feel nearly as bad about her life situation post-breakup as I did.

You've driven yourself crazy, forcing this girl's problems on to you. Don't you have your own sh*t to worry about? If not, go challenge yourself somehow. Get a hobby. Build a birdhouse. Whatever.
I needed that advice man cuz I was going crazy when having that conversation with her. I think its time to challenge myself. Why worry about other people's problem. Thanks for your help.
 

foreverace87

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Alright Gents, here is what I have decided. After contemplating on this for several days, I have come to the realization that as men we must take the lead and take control of the situation, and even end the situation in a controlled manner.

This woman wanted me to pay half of her attorney fees that she used in her case against her ex so that she could travel and stay with me. Yes, I loaned her money to buy her a car but she has been paying me back regularly. Initially, there was no way in hell I was going to reimburse her half of the fees. Why? Because after I broke up with her she has hatred towards me, she is bitter and highly disrespectful. Does that phase me? No. But now, I have realized that we as DJs must be the bigger men in a dispute. Yes, going to court was her choice but she did it for me. If I choose to run away, than that's cowardice. I will go ahead and compensate her by deducting that amount from her loan. Life is short, money comes and goes, but your character and conscious will follow you for the rest of your life.

Long live the DJs.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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