"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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break is here... how long should i wait?

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
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hey everyone. i am a student who is currently on winter break. a girl i know (we are casual friends, but i'm not in the friend zone by any means) just came home from a school a day or two ago.

she won't be home for long (her break is short), but during the time period i plan on asking her if she wants to hang out, a date basically. if i asked her out in the next day or so, would it be too soon? i don't want to come across as needy, desperate or bored, so i am thinking about waiting to ask her out after christmas. i kind of want to give her some time to be home and then hopefully suprise her a little bit.

there really isn't much momentum going into this, so i dont think i have much to lose by waiting. only that she might be busy in the coming weeks and not be able to reschedule, but she's made time for me in the past, so i think if she's still interested she'll find time regardless.

are my instincts on taking it a littler slower and waiting a week correct? or should i try to move in immediaitely?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
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oh, and before anyone says "do what you want, on your terms" i agree it should be on my terms, i just want to know how long i should wait so i don't seem desperate.
 

L B

Master Don Juan
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Time is not your challenge here, your over analyzing of the situation is. I used to do the same thing in the beginning as well. I would be findings reasons why my action today would not work. When I have the balls to do it, it's too late.

Looks like you are playing the "I heard you're in town" game. You can do that right now, why wait? Set up a date with her. The longer you wait, the more she will have on her schedule.

And why do you think you seem desperate? I never go by the wait a few days to call. I have plenty of success calling whenever I get a chance. I don't wait. It's all about how you present yourself.
 
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