"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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BPD self diagnosis

GADavid

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SS seems to be obsessed with personal growth and BPD issues. Here's a new one y'all might have some advice on: I was the BPD in my relationship. Pretty much everything it entails was/is me spot on. I recognize this and want to be the opposite.

I have always been "sensitive", wear my heart on my sleeve, and over analyze things to the extreme. Things that shouldn't have offended me irrationally hurt me deeply. Anything less than perfect would cause an emotional tailspin instead of just saying, "that sucks, I need to stop worrying and do xxxxxx instead."

Advice?

The game plan is to be mindful of negative thoughts, get busy, no more drinking, work out, and eat better. Fake it til I make it and man up...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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SgtSplacker

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#1 A man must have control over his emotions.
#2 For the sake of your mental health you must control your random thought patterns.
#3 Meditate to control random thought patterns.

Your brain is a muscle, it is flesh just like any other. It gets accustomed to doing the same things over and over again just like any other flesh. Your brain is also wired to think negative thoughts to keep you alive in times when we had to worry about predators.

Basically dude if you let yourself dwell on negativity, you will continue to dwell on negativity because you are used to it. So stop doing that.
 

papawapa

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Get yourself into DBT or schema therapy. You have to rewire your brain. Thise are the only two things that will work.
 

GADavid

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SgtSplacker said:
#1 A man must have control over his emotions.
#2 For the sake of your mental health you must control your random thought patterns.
#3 Meditate to control random thought patterns.

Your brain is a muscle, it is flesh just like any other. It gets accustomed to doing the same things over and over again just like any other flesh. Your brain is also wired to think negative thoughts to keep you alive in times when we had to worry about predators.

Basically dude if you let yourself dwell on negativity, you will continue to dwell on negativity because you are used to it. So stop doing that.
I keep seeing that meditation is part of therapies and supposedly helps more than most can imagine. I'll give it a shot. 1 and 2 I understand; it's just how to get there and maintain it that is difficult.

Perhaps I am skeptical about therapy. I am fully aware of my issues and not repressing any ****ty parts of my childhood. I've read and implemented the coping strategies, it's just an ongoing battle within myself. I don't always hate myself, i love myself ever though
 

SgtSplacker

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GADavid said:
I keep seeing that meditation is part of therapies and supposedly helps more than most can imagine. I'll give it a shot. 1 and 2 I understand; it's just how to get there and maintain it that is difficult.

Perhaps I am skeptical about therapy. I am fully aware of my issues and not repressing any ****ty parts of my childhood. I've read and implemented the coping strategies, it's just an ongoing battle within myself. I don't always hate myself, i love myself ever though
You will get used to it eventually, you just can't quit. You have to make new habits.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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GADavid

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I understand it is 99% breaking old patterns. The fact that I was so desperate for attention is horrifying. Really
 

Pimp-sicle

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GADavid said:
SS seems to be obsessed with personal growth and BPD issues. Here's a new one y'all might have some advice on: I was the BPD in my relationship. Pretty much everything it entails was/is me spot on. I recognize this and want to be the opposite.

I have always been "sensitive", wear my heart on my sleeve, and over analyze things to the extreme. Things that shouldn't have offended me irrationally hurt me deeply. Anything less than perfect would cause an emotional tailspin instead of just saying, "that sucks, I need to stop worrying and do xxxxxx instead."

Advice?

The game plan is to be mindful of negative thoughts, get busy, no more drinking, work out, and eat better. Fake it til I make it and man up...



This hardly qualifies as a BPD diagnosis.


1) Your not qualified to diagnosis yourself; although being self aware is huge & extremely rare for a true BPD male or female

2) One of the hallmark signs of BPD is being in pure denial that you have any serious issues



Furthermore, at this point you haven't given enough examples of specific things you do or have done that would qualify as BPD behavior. And even then, all of us at times do things that are BPDish.

It has become a catch all phrase on SS and I'm not denying there are many people out there who are afflicted by this (a lot more than people think, especially because they rarely are diagnosed properly or realized the extent of their issue); however its become the norm here to Google BPD traits and say "oh the girl I was dating had this" or in your case "I fit this to a T."


My guess is you don't have BPD, but likely some normal insecurities and instabilities as you are growing up and maturing.











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