"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Bowling dates and the likes, seems boring to go with just 2?

Kev07

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2006
Messages
1,706
Reaction score
9
Location
Bay Area, California, Currently in SoCal (UCR)
i've been bowling before, i enjoy it a lot. it's so much fun and it gets so competitive.

however, i usually go with a group of people, ranging from 4-10 people at a time. it is really fun, because i like to be the center of attention and i can keep everyone laughing.

i just keep thinking that dates could get really boring if it's just her and i, especially on dates like bowling/minigolf/whatever.

what's your experience on this? i'm considering double dates for these kind of things, but i don't really know.:box:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

ExploringOne

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2007
Messages
163
Reaction score
0
Location
Mars.
For a first date, you might want something different. Me personally, I prefer something simple first, like "Hey let's meet at that starbucks..."

Have plans to go from there though. Basically, if you're getting to a point that it's getting boring, it means you're not communicating enough. Though I will say this, most people just don't know how to use this amazing thing called silence.

Anyway, first active date, do something like an amusement park (six flags) or if you're on more of a budget, then dave&busters.

It all comes down to how much comfort you managed to etablish during the initial meeting. Sometimes the best date is just to meet somewhere, anywhere, and wander around talking.

Basically, do whatever you feel comfortable with.

If you think bowling is going to be boring for you, with just the date, then it probably will. Don't fall victim to self fullfilling prophecies.
 

Bonhomme

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2002
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
16
Location
Land of the Ruins
I'm not a big fan of coffee dates, especially for first dates, where they tend to degenerate into question & answer sessions (yaawwwnnn~~~). If you're a really good storyteller and/or you think she might have a lot of interesting stuff to talk about, a coffee date might work.

But, looking at my own stats, I don't recall ever having a coffee date lead to any sort of sexual involvement. Usually not even a second date. But a very high percentage of my "do something together" dates: concert dates, movie dates, walks in the woods, etc., have ended up in bed.

Why not go bowling if you both enjoy it?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Guys really need to consider the benefit of not needing an entourage to keep things lively. What do you plan to do when she wants to spend time alone? What are the chances that she'll only want sex and then quietly turn over and go to sleep every time it's just the two of you?
 

woods

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 2, 2007
Messages
305
Reaction score
3
Age
50
I've never used bowling as a first date, but I've had tons of fun with just me and my girl. Half of the experience is looking at each others asses.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Kev07

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2006
Messages
1,706
Reaction score
9
Location
Bay Area, California, Currently in SoCal (UCR)
It's not really a first date, this girl just keeps asking me when we'll hang out after i came with her to a mall once.

I think she enjoyed it but, crikeys, i was bored out of my mind. that's why i'm trying to think of some action dates.

i'm sure i could keep a cofee date going well, i'm a good story teller and i'm funnier overall, but i watn something with ACTION. that is it. It's jsut that from my past experience bowling/pool/minigolf/ whatever when i go with a group of friends, it just seems like it would be REALLY boring if there wasn't a group.

I like being the center of attention :woo:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Kev07 said:
It's not really a first date, this girl just keeps asking me when we'll hang out after i came with her to a mall once.

I think she enjoyed it but, crikeys, i was bored out of my mind. that's why i'm trying to think of some action dates.

i'm sure i could keep a cofee date going well, i'm a good story teller and i'm funnier overall, but i watn something with ACTION. that is it. It's jsut that from my past experience bowling/pool/minigolf/ whatever when i go with a group of friends, it just seems like it would be REALLY boring if there wasn't a group.

I like being the center of attention :woo:
It's understandable that you would want to do something where it shows you int the best light but too often guys focus SO much on what they are comfortable doing on a date (which more times shifts the focus on something other than the woman), that the woman eventually looses interest because she feels as if she is just tagging along.

Talk to the girl and see how she feels about going bowling or whatever. If you're lucky she already enjoys it. The thing you have to remember is that you don't want to hang out with her just as friends so don't treat her as just a friend when you go out.
 
Top