Boot Camp: My Journey

[tripleplay]

So I'm starting this boot camp mainly because of frustration with myself. I've been researching seduction information here and elsewhere for about two months now, but I've made very little progress in actually physically committing to the things I read. I feel I have internalized most of the core DJ beliefs, and I certainly know them on an intellectual level, yet I still have problems getting that confidence to put these things into action.

I still have a dreadful approach fear, and that's the primary reason for doing this boot camp. I'm a good looking, interesting guy, and I believe I've put my AFC beliefs in the past since finding sites like this and learning where I was constantly going wrong. I just need that confidence to push myself over the edge and start approaching and interacting with girls I don't know. I can turn on the DJ skills to great effect with girls I already know, my main concern is my severe lack of approaches since instilling this new mind set.

So I want to put everything into this. That's why I'm here posting, making a commitment to myself and this board. I want you guys to instruct me where you can, push me when I need that push, but most of all don't let me fall off the wagon.

I'm ready to put my AFC nature aside and become the Don Juan I dream of becoming.

(I started the Boot Camp on Saturday, so I'll post the first two days' news before getting to today's report.)

Thanks guys.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 1

So the journey starts here. I have to admit I got nervous reading the course outline. Where I am now seems so far from where I want to be, and where this Boot Camp proclaims it will take me. I'm reminded of the idea of crossing the Abyss and the allegory of Plato's Cave. I'm certainly excited to get this thing going, but apprehension is certainly here lurking at the back of my mind.

I completed the week's reading today. I started the boot camp at 10pm, so no "hi"s or eye contact reports as of yet. Tomorrow night will be a night out, so I expect plenty of opportunity to begin the exercises.

Every journey begins with a single step.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 2

I did a lot of research today. My mind is bogged down with seduction stuff, and I'm worried about paralysis by analysis due to going into an information overload. I'm not a huge proponent of the Speed Seduction stuff - I'd rather just keep things as natural as possible. Still, I completed the last couple of days of Ross Jeffries' Unstoppable Confidence tape series today. I wanted to get that NLP confidence boost before going out to the nightclub tonight and reeling off as many "hi"s as I possibly can.

On the way to the bars, I begin my "hi"s. I drop a "hi" on the first person I see (a middle aged woman looking very stressed) and she totally blanks me. I'm hoping I don't come across as some crazy walking these night streets, but it is a well lit area.

So after that first "hi" fails to get a response, I chuckle to myself and realise this is going to be a lot of funny. I reel off another two "hi"s in quick succession and start really into the whole process. I start to see it as a game, and it's one helluva fun one at that. I ask myself why I haven't tried doing something like this before - it's one of the most liberating things I've ever done. It seems a great way to boost that confidence up as you're walking in for a big night of drinking and partying. I stick my chest, hold my head up high and have no problem banging out another six more before I get into town. The initial non-response from the middle-aged woman gave me that "oh well she didn't respond, well that wasn't too bad after all" attitude that I needed to just start throwing them out all over the place. I think the quicker you get that non-response out of the way, the easier the whole thing suddenly becomes! Most people replied back during the course of the night, but there were a few who just looked shocked that someone would actually be civil and greet them randomely in the street. I got a kick out of those shocked faces and really felt a sense of fulfillment spreading this good cheer. I was obviously targeting attractive girls, but no one was safe.

I was hugely disappointed, though, to only get another two more in for the rest of the night! I don't know what happened. It just seemed so much easier to get the "hi"s out there in the open street. I could make better eye contact and just weigh up the person before letting out the greeting. In the bars and clubs and just felt fazed. I don't live in the friendliest town in the world, and I just felt intimidated sometimes in trying to let out the "hi"s. I didn't count waitresses, bartenders, doorman or other service personnel that
saying "hello" to is expected anyway. I need to work on this.

So, thus far, I have 11 out of 50 "hi"s.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 3

Went into town today to run some errands and got out another 8 "hi"s. I'm still fairly nervous about holding eye contact with people. My city happened to have some sort of festival on today, so I went into large crowds of people and attempted the eye contact thing without much success. Any tips on this exercise would be much appreciated. I've been reading some of the previous Boot Camp journals, but I'm having trouble putting this one together.

I gained confidence over time with the "hi"s, starting out apprehensive and eventually gaining the confidence to throw one out at an HB. I just don't see very many HBs around here just walking down the street. It's like they're in all day and only come out at night. Maybe I'll try getting some "hi"s out tomorrow night.

I've worked out the way to get almost a definate "hi" reply is to first get some eye contact with the person from at least five feet away, and then say the "hi" when they're right in front of you. Grunting a "hi" out of nowhere, when they're right on top of you, and haven't seen the color of your eyes yet, is definately not the way to go if you want a reply "hi."

Got my gym membership renewed today - another important step on my journey to total self-improvement.

I realized also that I was saying a "hi" to a group of two or more people and counting each person in that group as a subsequent "hi," when really all I was saying was one "hi." I was counting the number of people I was saying it to rather than the number of "hi"s themselves. I've corrected this, and the change is reflected in the current cumulative score of "hi"s at the bottom of this report.

Not a bad days training, but still more improvements need to be made with these exercises.

19 out of 50 "hi"s.

Thoughts so far, gentlemen?

 

[zerocelcius]

My thought is Reflect. Reflection is key here. Think how afraid you were to just say hi to somebody. Than Reflect on how it felt to do it.

You gave yourself that moment. It was all you! Yes you got the info from searching and from the boot camp outline, but who actually did it? You did. You are capable of everything.

Also keep reveling in the experience. Look how far you have come in just 3 days! The eye contact will become more natural as the fear becomes excitement. Confidence is really just the absence of fear. Do you know what fear stands for? F.E.A.R. False Emotion Appearing Real!

Go get em!

 

[Magma]

Good for you

Ahh, Plato's Cave. An educated man. Good to see. As with Plato's Cave, everything you've seen up until now has been an illusion. You have removed the scales from your eyes, and now you see things as they really are. Congratulations my friend.

You are on the right path. Keep reading and absorbing the information. There is a lot of it out there. What you need to do is follow Zero's advice and REFLECT. Reflection is a key component to understanding who YOU are as a person, and understanding what YOU want out of life. Once you understand this, you can begin to internalize all this information in a way that supports your natural inclinations. Do not be somebody that you aren't. It's a waste of time, but more importantly, it's transparent.

Work on your inner game, first and foremost. Also, realize that dressing well and being properly groomed (and all the other suggestions for giving the ******d physical appearance of DJism) will have a synergistic effect on your inner game. When you look good, you feel good. Simple as that. I wish you all the best, and feel free to PM me with any questions. I may not be able to answer them, but I might be able to point you in the right direction. Sarge on!!

 

[rushing dude 123]

ur doing well man i don't think i got that many hi's on my first day lol, but eye contact thing i thought was pretty easy, keep at it u will b suprised most people would put there head down, start at it about 5-10 ft like the hi thing by jus looking at something forward then turn slightly and look in there eyes. If they don't look or move eyes down its kool it jus shows ur dominance over them. O yeh another tip i would try to get ur weeky exercises done a day or 2 before the deadline, because things can come up that would make it harder for u.

Also nice on joining on the gym u get to meet new people and improve ur body, which will also improve ur testerone levels.

keep up good work ur doing well and keep improving.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 4

I didn't get around to posting this yesterday, but, to be honest, Day 4 was a bit of a wash-out on the DJ-ing front. I work construction when I'm back at home for the summer, so there's not much opportunity to meet strangers (let alone HBs).

Bit of a letdown - only got in one "hi" today. That brings my total to 20, so I have some work on my hands over the last few days of this first week.

20 out of 50 "hi"s.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 5

Today was a much better day for Don Juan-ing. After work, I hit the gym and got in two "hi"s there. I was debating about whether to include them or not, as "hi"s in the gym are like shooting fish in a barrel - everyone's so receptive there, and half the people are looking to meet someone there anyway.

Decided to walk home from the gym to get some extra "hi"s in. Worked with that post-gym confidence boost, where you walk down the street feeling proud and improved. First person I saw was an HB 7, and I hit off a "hi" without even really thinking about it. Very impressed with myself. Yeah, part of it was that post-gym adrenaline kick, but I really do think I'm making some progress here.

Bring on tomorrow!


24 out of 50 "hi"s.

 

[tripleplay]

Thanks for the replies so far, guys. It's great to go out and do these exercises knowing that I have something of an audience that I need to report to with the results - it gives me that extra kick up the ass that I need sometimes. That we all need.

zerocelcius - Cheers for the motivating words. I've been carrying them with me on my travels today. I take time to reflect on everything just before I go to sleep most of the time. I'm going to take time to think about the progress I've made thus far, and look forward to continued improvement in everything.

Magma - thanks for the feedback and tips. I have that DJ appearance down pretty well, but everyone has room for improvement.I'm going to go shopping for some new clothes this weekend, actually. The way you look on the outside (be it your body or the clothes you carry on your back) can have a profound effect on your inner game and overall confidence, that's for sure!

rushing dude 123- thanks, man. You mentioned you've done the first week of the Boot Camp - did you get through the whole thing?

I know exactly what you're saying about the gym. I had a gym membership up until about two months ago, when my routine fell apart. I've been back home for the summer for nearly a month now - hopefully I can rekindle my gym routine and get back into the swing of things. You're right about the gym as a place to meet people, too - so many people use it as a social network, beyond just working out there. I've seen and heard about people hooking up with girls via the gym, but have yet to crack that, ahem, market myself so far.

 

[zerocelcius]

Week 1 Day 5

Today was a much better day for Don Juan-ing. After work, I hit the gym and got in two "hi"s there. I was debating about whether to include them or not, as "hi"s in the gym are like shooting fish in a barrel - everyone's so receptive there, and half the people are looking to meet someone there anyway.

Decided to walk home from the gym to get some extra "hi"s in. Worked with that post-gym confidence boost, where you walk down the street feeling proud and improved. First person I saw was an HB 7, and I hit off a "hi" without even really thinking about it. Very impressed with myself. Yeah, part of it was that post-gym adrenaline kick, but I really do think I'm making some progress here.

Bring on tomorrow!


24 out of 50 "hi"s.

You’re more than welcome! You should count the gym "hi"s. Part of the lesson is that you can get easy "hi"s. One thing it should teach you is the social dynamics of each place you got the "hi"s. What you said about the post workout high and the automatic response to the HB7... HA??? You see? It is coming natural and that is a leap. You said "HI" to a HB7 with no fear! NONE! And it wasn’t that she is an HB7, it is that you felt good about yourself.

I used to do construction and that is a workout in it's self. Much respect for sticking to the game and hitting the gym, even with such a demanding job. Your journey is inspirational; Keep it up!

 

[tripleplay]

Where have I been? Well, I fell off the wagon a little.

Not so much 'fell off the wagon,' I just failed to do the exercise in its entirity. I apologize for the lack of updates, but after I missed completing the 50 "hi"s by Friday, I just slipped on updating the couple of days before that that I had missed.

Anyway, I will fill you guys in on what exactly happened in the last few days' report posts, but I'm going to basically do the first week again and see how it goes.

Here are the report posts for the last few days.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 6

So this was last Thursday and it was a total no-go as far as the exercises are concerned. I didn't get a single "hi" in at all today, so I'm still stuck on 24. It was a complete duck in that regard. I don't know why I couldn't get any in. I was working at the building site again today and, like I've said before, there are really no opportunities for getting in "hi"s in this line of work. The day just sped past, and before I knew it it was over and I hadn't added to my boot camp talley.

But the day wasn't lost. Some books relating to seduction that I recently purchased arrived today. I got Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power, which I know is highly touted on this board. I also bought the Introducing NLP book by Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour. Plus, I got the George Leonard book Mastery that David DeAngelo recommends in his Double Your Dating.

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 7

So I didn't complete the "hi" exercise for this week. I'm trying not to view it as a failure. I finished with 36, after getting another 6 "hi"s today. I just couldn't get the final 14 for whatever reason. I had a really cool BBQ at a friend's place and we then went into town for drinks. It really was a sitdown and catch-up night with many friends there that I hadn't seen in months, so I didn't even think about working the bar and trying to get some "hi"s in. Everyone in my group got increasingly drunk and a good night was had by all.

I woke up in the morning to the realization that although I had had an absolute blast of a night the night before, I'd fallen 14 "hi"s of what I needed to complete the Boot Camp exercise. I'm pissed off, as I wanted it badly. "Things just got in the way," is about as far as my weak excuses will extend to. I know I should have found extra time in the week, so that I wasn't so rushed to get 20 in on the last day. It reminds me of what rushing dude 123 told me in this thread - make sure you get your exercises completed by mid way through the week, as you never know what social commitments might come up at the end. My downfall was my hectic social life, which is quite ironic when you consider the nature of this Boot Camp and the whole "hi" challenge.

I felt really **** with myself the day after the night out, when I realized that I hadn't done enough to complete the exercise - to be honest, a lot of that has to do with me feeling like I've let down this message board, especially guys like Magma and zerocelcius, who have taken the time to give my tips and push me along the first week.

So what's the upshot of all this? Am I just going to sit back and give up? No way! It's not a failure, I just discovered one way how NOT to complete the Boot Camp!

I'm going to take a few days to reflect and collect my thoughts on this past week. The pros and cons. What went right and what went wrong. There's certainly more positives than negiatives to take away from this experience so far, and I'm certainly not giving up.

I'll start Week 1, part II on Wednesday 5th. I'm going to read the Week 2 lessons and assigments and try and familiarise myself with that material this week, before I jump into it next week. I'm imagining it's going to be the first cold convo. exercise. Looking forward to getting my teeth into that!

So, Wednesday 5th, I start Week 1 and the first exercises again. I'm going to do it right this time. Then Week 2 begins.

Hey, if nothing else, I'm certainly going to end up with a strong foundation in all this!

 

[zerocelcius]

You didn't let me down. Every step you take *(as long as you learn from it) is a good step. The fact that your social and job took up a lot of your time isn't a fault as far as DJing goes.

If you feel like you failed than start over. Just don't loose the lesson that you earned. Take the time you need to reflect and get back in the field.

Sarge On!

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Days 1-4 (Attempt II)

I apologise for the lack of recent updates. I just moved back to England from Los Angeles (where I was studying for a year), so everything's been up in the air. Over the last 4 days I've managed 11 "hi"s - still a little behind on where I'd like to be at this point this week, but the change of continents has certainly slowed me down somewhat. I should have gotten more "hi"s in the airport.

Since I've been studying seduction knowledge, I've noticed huge differences between Britain and the United States in the dating scenes and reactions from girls. Of course, the English accent goes a long way in America (I only need to recite the alphabet to get attention in the US). Girls are MUCH more friendly in general in the United States, and much more receptive to random conversation and approaches. This isn't just coming from a silk-tongued Englishman, I've seen evidence of this with my American friends and their experiences in Britain. We're not an unfriendly nation, as such, but a lot more reserved when it comes to conversation and getting to know someone. I admire the confidence of the American people in general in just being able to cut loose and be willing to start conversations with random people on the bus, etc. And some of my most memorable conversations whilst I was over there were with crazy cab drivers, who started conversations with me. There seem to be strict dating rules that I've observed in the Uinted States.

In contrast, though, in England it's not uncommon to just walk into a club, dance with a girl and leave that night with little questions asked. Surprisingly, Americans appear more stand-offish compared to their stiff-upper lipped counterparts when it comes to sex. I find it all very fascinating. Americans place a huge emphasis on the pattern of dating, the whole "going exclusive" thing, whereas this never really becomes an issue in Britain.

I think in Britain, we don't tend to date multiple women at one time. When I say that, I don't mean MLTRs. I just mean casual dating. Americans will casually date for a couple of months before, normally, the woman will suggest the couple "go exclusive." I've never come across myself or anyone else encountering "going exclusive" in Britain. Once we're steadily dating a girl in Britain for a couple of months, it's pretty much recognised by both parties that it's a relationship and they are, in fact, exclusive at that point. Obviously, this is a huge blanket statement, but I think it rings true for the average cross sections of both societies - at least in my experience.

Anyway, this journal has taken a slight tangent, but that has certainly been on my mind of late. I hope to talk a little more about the Britain/American dating and seduction scenes and their differences, as it's something I'm passionate about - and I believe I come from a quite unique angle on this, having lived and studied in both countries.

So, 39 "hi"s and the eye contact exercise left to go this week. I'm trying to get my life in order since coming home again, but I'm determined to continue this bootcamp into the next college year.

 

[Magma]

Good work soldier

Hey Triple! Believe me, my friend, you have not let anyone down. You are doing a GREAT job, and I'm here to tell you to keep it up. Your posts are thoughtful, reflective, and sincere in nature. Don't let the strict regimen of the boot camp dictate whether or not you succeed or fail. Just keep your chin up and plow.

Interesting observations on the differences between Americans and British regarding social dating norms. This shows that you are really THINKING about how men and women interact. This knowledge and reflection will allow you to properly calibrate situations accordingly. Keep up the good work, my friend! The results will speak for themselves.

Sarge On!!:rockon:

 

[tripleplay]

Week 1 Day 5 (Attempt II)

So on the strength of the motivation I created for myself after writing the Days 1-4 recap, I went out for a couple hours of DJ-ing. It turned out to be my best mission thus far! I don't know what it was, but something just clicked. It was incredible.

Maybe it was the day. A Sunday, I said "hi" to tonnes of people watering gardens and sitting around on lazy hot late Sunday afternoon. It was perfect. Maybe it was the location. England. I took a stroll around a housing estate here (one of the nicer ones), and people were really receptive to me. I guess they just assumed I was local to the estate. I don't know. Whatever it was, the confidence just started to click in me after the first few "hi"s. I wasn't flacking out on any "hi"s at this point, I had a 100% record for the few five or so, and it just felt great. I didn't want to let my 100% record slide.

I saw so many old people on my stroll. These are the easiest "hi"s - there's no real threat of reprisals, and, to be honest, I get off on brightening up their days and proving that not all young people are complete *******s.

My main target is attractive women. I tend to avoid the "hi"s on young dudes in their 20s or 30s, especially if they're walking on their own. They're not in my eventual target group (HBs) anyway, of course, but this is a tough old town and you need to be careful who you say "hi" to. There are some real idiots around these parts who would take a "hi" from a stranger as reason enough to start some ****. It sounds crazy as I've lived in chilled places and really violent places around the world, but you really have to be careful not to say "hi" to the wrong person. I think that's something which doesn't get raised too much in these Boot Camp journals.

But most people are cool and receptive to the "hi"s. Another great thing about today's excursion was the fact that so many people were saying "hi" back. This never happened before, especially not in my first attempt at week 1. I think the eye contact plays a big part in this. You need to hold the eye contact and say the "hi" right as the person is in front of you. If you say the "hi" out of nowhere, when they're right on top of you, you're not going to get a response for the most part.

Like I say, things just seemed to click today, and my confidence flew through the roof because of this. I was dishing out much more eye contact and could just feel the confidence emitting from me! It was a great feeling. I got into three short conversations after I said "hi" to people and they started a mini-convo (often based around the weather). This was great progress.

I mean, I'm hardly a social inept, I'm used to talking to people in bars, on trains and planes, etc and having random convos spring out of there. But this "hi" business is just something different. It feels awesome to get conversations flowing naturally out of random "hi"s to strangers. I never thought that it would happen like this when I started this Boot Camp.

It's an interesting aspect to consider, though. We just seem to accept conversation on trains, planes, waiting rooms, shopping lines etc as normal and acceptable. However, these social conventions that we're all victims of to various extents, keep us from engaging strangers in conversation mid-street. I'm so comfortable talking to the person next to me on a train or plane in comparison. Why is that? Because we're doomed to sit there and we have no where else to go, neither do they, and we just accept our fate and talk? But we don't have to talk! At least I don't have to talk. But I do. Why is that? Maybe I can discover a way to channel that sitting beside someone on a train confidence into cold approaches on the street.

One more 'food for thought' item concerning approaches for the day. I think enclosed spaces are so important when it comes to approaches and the ease of them. I find it much easier to get "hi"s out when I'm in a building structure of some sort. On the open street it's harder, it just doesn't seem as right. Even alleyways seem more natural to approach someone with a "hi" - maybe it's the walls on either side making things seem more enclosed and natural, like it's more acceptable to say something to someone than, say, a field or something. But we need to get rid of these stupid ideas of where it's best to say "hi" to someone or do an approach. Let the world be our oyster and any area be our approach area!

I was very pleased to get out 11 "hi"s today, bringing my total this week up to 22. I need 28 over the next two days. Come on!

 

[crawfordicon]

This is a really great thread! And I'm surprised it hasn't had more replies. There's some real wisdom here, and a lot for AFC's to learn from this thread. Amazing, you're an inspiration. Keep up the good work!

 

[rushing dude 123]

Alright man, i cudn't get back to u because i have been on a cruise, but i done a similar thing like u in week 3 i didn't manage to do it and i am doing a second attempt. Seeing i have been through what u have been through i will give u some tips. right man u got 28 and 2 days left, i had a similar tally on my first week and i thought i cudn't do it. U r well behind man, but it's never to late. if u still have this tally on the last day u gotta suck up ur gutt and go out there and do those 28, don't ever give up. i was about to give up on week 2 had quite a few people to talk to and it was 10pm and i was at home and i went fck it and went out there and got my three. I am sure u know its hard to do approaches in dark and look man these hi's u don't even have to get reponses so if it comes down to it baically u have to say hi to the next 28 people u c, get a bus lol. (just imagine u said hi to everyone on the bus and u screwed up with loads of bad or no responses, wud u look back at that and say dam i shudn't of done that. NO u wud b like man wow i had the balls to do that ****)

Right and now some advice for week 2, week 2 u r going to b asked to talk to strangers for 2-10 mins and week 3 r 10 women u find attractive. i wud say it wud b good idea to get some HB 7+ in ur week 2 has it will help in week 3. What i did was avoid this problem and it came back in week 3.

U gotta face ur fears man all they won't go away. U r doing beautiful man, a lesser man wud of giving up by now. The question is will this b a repeat of last week or will u change ur fate. To change ur fate u have to take a big step so good luck with that man.