blew it with a Chubby Chick

[blueline]

So, I had a few good conversations with this chubby chick I randomly bumped into at the university library a few times. Almost every time, it was her that initiated the conversation and she was all smilely for no real reason every single time. The third time I bump into her, I tell her that I'm kind of hungry, am going to grab a bite to eat, and ask if she wants to come. She declines b/c she had a judo practice in 15 minutes (my bro is on the same judo team and he confirmed it, so she wasn't making up an excuse).

The next day, she facebooks me and I ask her out for coffee sometime the next week. She says sure, and sends me her number via fbook private message. During the date, we talk for like 3 hours about all sorts of crap and the conversation was generally really good for two people who met under absolutely random circumstances. She's all playfully touchy with me during the date, but outside of that, I didn't do anything physical with her. We both agree that we enjoyed ourselves and agree to do it again soon. I have a feeling I talked about myself way too much on this date, and was too ****y, but she encouraged it all, basically.

Fast-forward a few days later. I ask her if she'd like to go see a movie at the drive-in sometime this weekend and she says sure, but says she's going to bring her atrocious fat tank of a friend along. Now, if her friend wasn't a fat tank, I would gladly resolve this situation by bringing a wing along. Unfortunately, I have no friends that would be willing to take that kind of bullet (I wouldn't be either, good God). So, I decide to tell her that I intend for this to be a date. After telling her this, she pauses for a while and tells me that she's not looking for a relationship at the moment. At this point, I'm thinking "well, I just got rejected clear as day by a ****ing fat chick. ****."

I myself am not fat (although certainly am not in superb shape; I guess I'm what you call ectomorphic in bodybuilder terms), but I am certainly socially retarded and have been in a financial situation over the last 5 years that has basically forced me to live at home while studying computer science at the local University (the girl I'm talking about also lives at home and is kind of socially stunted, too). I just graduated a week ago, and this move was partially out of desperation to lose my virginity (I'm almost 23 years old and a college graduate, jesus christ) as I almost never hit on girls I perceive to be Fat Chicks.

Anyways, how the **** did I blow this? I aimed lower than I ever have before.

 

[DonJuan11]

So, I had a few good conversations with this chubby chick I randomly bumped into at the university library a few times. Almost every time, it was her that initiated the conversation and she was all smilely for no real reason every single time. The third time I bump into her, I tell her that I'm kind of hungry, am going to grab a bite to eat, and ask if she wants to come. She declines b/c she had a judo practice in 15 minutes (my bro is on the same judo team and he confirmed it, so she wasn't making up an excuse).

The next day, she facebooks me and I ask her out for coffee sometime the next week. She says sure, and sends me her number via fbook private message. During the date, we talk for like 3 hours about all sorts of crap and the conversation was generally really good for two people who met under absolutely random circumstances. She's all playfully touchy with me during the date, but outside of that, I didn't do anything physical with her.

Why not? That was pretty big mistake not to do anything physical with her. You should have at least kissed her.

We both agree that we enjoyed ourselves and agree to do it again soon. I have a feeling I talked about myself way too much on this date, and was too ****y, but she encouraged it all, basically.

Fast-forward a few days later. I ask her if she'd like to go see a movie at the drive-in sometime this weekend and she says sure, but says she's going to bring her atrocious fat tank of a friend along. Now, if her friend wasn't a fat tank, I would gladly resolve this situation by bringing a wing along. Unfortunately, I have no friends that would be willing to take that kind of bullet (I wouldn't be either, good God). So, I decide to tell her that I intend for this to be a date. After telling her this, she pauses for a while and tells me that she's not looking for a relationship at the moment. At this point, I'm thinking "well, I just got rejected clear as day by a ****ing fat chick. ****."

Your logic is a little confusing. If her friend was not fat you would go on the double date? That doesn't make much sense. What does her friend have to do with anything? Either you like her or you don't. I'm sure you could have found a wing too, even paid for him, for one afternoon for two hours.

I myself am not fat (although certainly am not in superb shape; I guess I'm what you call ectomorphic in bodybuilder terms), but I am certainly socially retarded and have been in a financial situation over the last 5 years that has basically forced me to live at home while studying computer science at the local University (the girl I'm talking about also lives at home and is kind of socially stunted, too). I just graduated a week ago, and this move was partially out of desperation to lose my virginity (I'm almost 23 years old and a college graduate, jesus christ) as I almost never hit on girls I perceive to be Fat Chicks.

Anyways, how the **** did I blow this? I aimed lower than I ever have before.

You didn't initialize the attraction of the first date and didn't even try anything physical. If you don't, what's the difference between you and her brother in law?

You have to step up the physical to show her you like her. Alot of guys don't to girl they are not attracted to, or they don't to girls they are because they are afraid of their ego. ("If I got out with her 10 times, I'll wear her down and then step up the sexual contact") Doesn't work that way. You have to do it on the first date so she knows you like her.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

You did the right thing rejecting the group date. She was going to use her friend as a buffer to prevent intimacy between the 2 of you.

 

[DonGorgon]

lol...

 

[f283000]

I just graduated a week ago, and this move was partially out of desperation to lose my virginity (I'm almost 23 years old and a college graduate, jesus christ) as I almost never hit on girls I perceive to be Fat Chicks.

Anyways, how the **** did I blow this? I aimed lower than I ever have before.

dude! it's not like someone is pointing a gun to your head forcing you to lose your virginity or they are going to pull the trigger! You need to work on your inner game. A real man doesn't give a f___ what anybody thinks and doesn't fall into societal peer pressure to the point he starts courting miss piglet just to lose the v card!

work on your game and make your first 1 a good one (or at least decent) :rockon:

 

[young_gun]

Don't be so hard on yourself.

There could be a thousand reasons why she "rejected" you, but you've internalized it and made it out to be your problem. If you had the right mindset about this, you wouldn't see it this way.

Don't be that guy who's out looking for a relationship. You're trying too hard. In my experience, a relationship won't fall into your lap if you're actively seeking it. Be relaxed, funny, in the moment and take things as they come. When you can do this, you'll find that you can get what you want without having to try that hard for it.