JohnnyIrish
Master Don Juan
Also if ya can find out what the cause/root of the depression is (unless we are talking brain chemicals here..at which point I'm lost) and deal with that directly (all depends on what it is).
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Not if she does all the work.Mandiblard said:Actually I find that drains quite a lot of energy.
In Australia there have been a few of the rugby league players come out about suffering from depression. Guys who have everything. putting them on a diet and exercise plan is not going to help as they are already in top shape. Their brain is fvcked up.Drum&Bass said:I'll say it again PSYCHOTROPIC MEDS ARE NOT THE WAY TO GO IF YOUR NOT FEELING RIGHT !!!
There may truly be something wrong but prescribed medications from corporations is not the direction to follow when finding help.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
From my experience, unless its a chemical problem then its environmental. Take a look at your life, do some self analysis. Why am I feeling this way?.. is there something that I feel I'm missing?.. what do I want?.. am I going where I want in life?.. am I being treated as I want to be treated?simon said:No one truly knows what causes depression. There are plenty of hypotheses out there: the monoamine hypothesis and the neurogenesis hypothesis are just two. Drugs work for some and not for others, but they should be a last resort. The best solution is to first change your lifestyle (diet, exercise, sun exposure, stresses, way of thinking, supplements etc.) because yes, that will beneficially affect your brain biochemistry, and only when you have exhausted your 'natural' options, try drugs.
Mr.Fantastic, could you please describe your depression more?
Yep, as I said unless there is a chemical unbalance present then it is environmental. I grew up in crappy environments and as a result was pretty damn depressed a good part of my childhood. I didn't see it at first but in time I saw the problems and made several changes since then to where life pretty much kicks ass right now. As a result I think people are way to quick to call something a 'chemical imbalance' rather then realize the environment just really sucks.. This is where one needs to know themselves to figure out the cause and what to change to 'fix' the cause/problems.wolf116 said:Some people go through hell and never get depressed, and then some people have everything and kill themselves. It just appears environmental issues are the problem, when no matter the circumstances they will still be depressed. These people need meds.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.