"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Best self defence course?

young_gun

Master Don Juan
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I've never even heard of Krav Maga or Kook Sool Won. I live in a town of about 250,000 and I'm pretty sure nobody teaches that here (or has even heard of it) so I'm guessing unless you live in a huge city, that wouldn't be an option.

I've been wanting to get into martial arts for a long time now. Last June, I signed up for some Tae Kwon Do classes and they didn't do a damn thing for me. To me, TKD seems more like a sport than any kind of self-defense. It's unrealistic to think that you will be able to defeat your opponent with these acrobatic-ass spinning twirly kicks. So I would definitely not recommend any TKD classes if you're serious about wanting to be able to defend yourself.

I signed up for some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes about 3 weeks ago, and I LOVE it. Everything that I have been taught is applicable for any kind of fighting tournament, and ESPECIALLY for the street. The great thing about BJJ is that it teaches you so many ways to defeat an opponent, even one who is much bigger than you. There are some guys in the dojo I go to that don't look like much, but could EASILY break your arm in 3 places in about 10 seconds if you didn't know how to defend against it. Plus, it's a lot of fun, a great way to get in good shape, and an excellent stress reliever. If you sign up for some BJJ classes, make sure to leave your ego at the door, as you the experienced guys in the class WILL make you their b*tch for at least a month or so. But, in my experience, they won't embarass you or make fun of you, so long as you come with a mindset to learn and get better.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to know how to defend yourself in a physical fight. Sure, you could know the best de-escalation techniques in the world, but if you go to a bar and hit on some drunk guy's girlfriend and he wants to attack you, no de-escalation tactic is going to calm him down. It's a pretty helpless feeling knowing that if you got into a fist-fight with someone, you wouldn't be able to defend yourself. I would definitely recommend some kind of self-defense class - I'm biased towards BJJ - so that this kind of stuff doesn't happen to you anymore.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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