Many of us have come to loathe hearing the words "Just be yourself". People believe that, in order to JBY, you have to do the same things that you've always done. It perpetuates some myth that, if you've always been submissive, you have to continue to be submissive or else you're "not being true to yourself." Well, this prompts a discussion of what "Being yourself" really means.
We are all complex beings, with many layers of experience and defenses that we have learned throughout our lives. Much of what we do does not in fact stem from within but rather from external influences - such as T.V., school, and society in general. Many men who have low confidence, feminine qualities, and who submit to women have learned these behaviors. It's not a reflection of who they are, just what they've learned to be. Changing these behaviors does not change who you are. It will, however, change how you percieve yourself, and how others see you as well.
Improving yourself is, in fact, the greatest way to "Just be yourself." I, for example, always wanted to be the "alpha male" - a successful, confident man who's strong adherence to his own convictions and genuine care for others put him at the top of many people's list of heros. I work every day to be that person. By committing yourself to change and grow into the person you've always wanted to be, you're being as true to yourself as possible. Instead of believing that you have achieved everything that you are capable, focus on what you have not yet achieved - and commit yourself towards getting it. Have the ambition, drive, and conviction to accomplish those things which you have always dreamed about. You want to be able to attract women, but first you have to believe in what you're selling. First, make yourself proud. When you are truly proud of what you are, you wont' be able to hide that from women.
The point is, don't "just" be yourself. Be yourself the way you've always dreamed you would be - and never rest until you get there.
We are all complex beings, with many layers of experience and defenses that we have learned throughout our lives. Much of what we do does not in fact stem from within but rather from external influences - such as T.V., school, and society in general. Many men who have low confidence, feminine qualities, and who submit to women have learned these behaviors. It's not a reflection of who they are, just what they've learned to be. Changing these behaviors does not change who you are. It will, however, change how you percieve yourself, and how others see you as well.
Improving yourself is, in fact, the greatest way to "Just be yourself." I, for example, always wanted to be the "alpha male" - a successful, confident man who's strong adherence to his own convictions and genuine care for others put him at the top of many people's list of heros. I work every day to be that person. By committing yourself to change and grow into the person you've always wanted to be, you're being as true to yourself as possible. Instead of believing that you have achieved everything that you are capable, focus on what you have not yet achieved - and commit yourself towards getting it. Have the ambition, drive, and conviction to accomplish those things which you have always dreamed about. You want to be able to attract women, but first you have to believe in what you're selling. First, make yourself proud. When you are truly proud of what you are, you wont' be able to hide that from women.
The point is, don't "just" be yourself. Be yourself the way you've always dreamed you would be - and never rest until you get there.