Being Put On A Pedastal

[Jmac]

Recently Ive noticed I have a little bit of a problem. Whenever someone is too nice to me I get a little bit uncomfortable and somewhat anxious I guess. I dont know what it is but if a person is being so nice to me or if I know a girl likes me it feels a bit uncomfortable.

I feel flattered by it and all, sometimes im even put in the spotlight but nowadays I dont even want that. When I was in my senior year of high school into my freshman year of college, all that stuff was cool to me and I felt I was hot ****. I even acted like it.

But ever since Ive been in college for some time now Ive cooled down alot almost to a fault. Now its like Im a bit hesitant to even act in a way that seems as if im ****y. Its hard to explain but I guess what Im trying to say is, I want to be humble but also be free to act confidently without coming off as arrogant.

 

[floydb25]

Running into the same situation here... I think you just gotta be humble, but not afraid. Don't reject advances, but don't start acting like big **** when you receive them. It's hard to not become conceited, have a big ego, strut around, look down on others, and all that good stuff. But that repels a lot of them, IME. Or, they take you for a ride, mess with your head, try to destroy your self-esteem, and so forth. Guys also hate you for being shallow and conceited. And you feel like ****.

Just act normal, like you would with anyone. There's no need to become loud, flamboyaunt, and annoying. That just makes you look shallow. Remember that you're already "in" most of the time, so you don't have to prove anything, or brag and boast. It's unnecessary, and just makes you look insecure and unsure of yourself. Someone who's confident and assured doesn't need to be arrogant or flashy. As well, being nice and decent is a good thing if you're very attractive (in women's eyes; hate judging myself and other men).

IME, when you act like hot ****; a ****y, arrogant, stuck up ******* - people try to tear you down. But when you act normal - they bring you up.

Just gotta find the right balance. Don't be passive, but don't be arrogant. Your confidence shows in most everything you do. You can be laid back and reserved - while still being socially confident. You can also be assertive, take the lead, stand up for yourself, have ****y humor (without praising yourself), be flirtacious, teasing / playful... it's all possible. Just eliminate the ****y arrogance, bragging, and conceitedness. This doesn't make you weak.

IME - with myself and others - the reason for becoming arrogant and ****y IS because you're weak and insecure. You don't have any real confidence, or much of anything. When I used to act like king ******* - it was because I wasn't assertive and didn't stand up for myself. It was just a shield. So, actually not being an arrogant / ****y *******, and acting like a man was the path I needed to take. A lot less problems with others, too.

Same goes for playing games, and the like. There's usually a lot of insecurity and fear of rejection behind it. Or acting like a jerkface to hide the co-dependancy issues.

Mostly, just eliminate the fear. That's what causes extreme behaviors like this. You are in control of yourself; you won't "fall out of line", and not be able to go back. You're not a computer. It's not hot **** vs nothing. Just like being kind and decent doesn't make you a "nice guy", or standing up for yourself doesn't make you a jerk.

Develop your natural confidence, and these things won't be an issue. A lot of these changes you're experiencing also come with maturity, so embrace them.

 

[Jmac]

Running into the same situation here... I think you just gotta be humble, but not afraid. Don't reject advances, but don't start acting like big **** when you receive them. It's hard to not become conceited, have a big ego, strut around, look down on others, and all that good stuff. But that repels a lot of them, IME. Or, they take you for a ride, mess with your head, try to destroy your self-esteem, and so forth. Guys also hate you for being shallow and conceited. And you feel like ****.

Just act normal, like you would with anyone. There's no need to become loud, flamboyaunt, and annoying. That just makes you look shallow. Remember that you're already "in" most of the time, so you don't have to prove anything, or brag and boast. It's unnecessary, and just makes you look insecure and unsure of yourself. Someone who's confident and assured doesn't need to be arrogant or flashy. As well, being nice and decent is a good thing if you're very attractive (in women's eyes; hate judging myself and other men).

IME, when you act like hot ****; a ****y, arrogant, stuck up ******* - people try to tear you down. But when you act normal - they bring you up.

Just gotta find the right balance. Don't be passive, but don't be arrogant. Your confidence shows in most everything you do. You can be laid back and reserved - while still being socially confident. You can also be assertive, take the lead, stand up for yourself, have ****y humor (without praising yourself), be flirtacious, teasing / playful... it's all possible. Just eliminate the ****y arrogance, bragging, and conceitedness. This doesn't make you weak.

IME - with myself and others - the reason for becoming arrogant and ****y IS because you're weak and insecure. You don't have any real confidence, or much of anything. When I used to act like king ******* - it was because I wasn't assertive and didn't stand up for myself. It was just a shield. So, actually not being an arrogant / ****y *******, and acting like a man was the path I needed to take. A lot less problems with others, too.

Same goes for playing games, and the like. There's usually a lot of insecurity and fear of rejection behind it. Or acting like a jerkface to hide the co-dependancy issues.

Mostly, just eliminate the fear. That's what causes extreme behaviors like this. You are in control of yourself; you won't "fall out of line", and not be able to go back. You're not a computer. It's not hot **** vs nothing. Just like being kind and decent doesn't make you a "nice guy", or standing up for yourself doesn't make you a jerk.

Develop your natural confidence, and these things won't be an issue. A lot of these changes you're experiencing also come with maturity, so embrace them.

I understand what you're saying, its tough to find the right balance especially being in such a different environment (college). Where Im from being "****y" and funny is acceptable as long as you're not being too serious or you can atleast back it up.

For example: if im home chilling with my group of friends we'd crack jokes and id probably say something like "look at that chick over there acting like she doesn't want the mack, watch me go get that." but in a funny way. People will laugh and tease me for saying it but its all good. Sometimes Id even go up to the girl just to make the whole thing funnier and I wont even care if I get rejected because its funny & if I do get the digits then hey, I still win lol. (Im just the kind of person that doesn't like taking situations too seriously all the time, I like to joke around and make light of the situation but I im still confident in doing it.)

On the other hand when Im over here (in school) and I say something like that people will give me a look and say something like "get over yourself" or "stop being so ****y" but that's how I joke around and its not meant to hurt anybody. So now its like I have to watch what I say around people and tone it down a bit. Its really irritating.

In fact when some of the people from around here see a really good looking girl they would be all like "oh my gosh I wish I could go and talk to her" & In my head im thinking its not a big deal, me and my friends from back home would turn it into a funny situation and talk to her anyway. Being around these people so long has changed me and I don't like it