Being in the Friendzone, are you hopeless?

[mahon83050]

I know many of you and especially Louis and Copeland state:

"Make your romantic interest known right away or fairly soon.... or you will wind up in the friendzone."

Okay, this makes sense to me, your chances of dating her or having her as a g/f are shot, but what about just "hooking up."

I mean, come on, if a girl thinks you are HOT, I think you have a chance of "getting some" regardless if you just start off as friends. Wouldn't you agree?

 

[ApocalypseCow]

Originally posted by mahon83050
I know many of you and especially Louis and Copeland state:

"Make your romantic interest known right away or fairly soon.... or you will wind up in the friendzone."

Okay, this makes sense to me, your chances of dating her or having her as a g/f are shot, but what about just "hooking up."

I mean, come on, if a girl thinks you are HOT, I think you have a chance of "getting some" regardless if you just start off as friends. Wouldn't you agree?

Well, of course. Sometimes you get lucky with a certain girl and you can do no wrong.

But this site isn't about LUCK. It's about using skills and strategies to increase your attractiveness. And one strategy that we all agree has failed time and time again is the "I'll start off as her friend and gradually she'll realize I'm a wonderful guy and want to go out with me!" method.

The point is that the first impression is everything, and you want her first impression to be, "Wow, this guy would make a great boyfriend!" not "This guy is just like my best girl friend...except he's a guy!"

It amazes me how some guys try their hardest to pretend they don't have a d!ck, and then get angry when they are treated like they don't.

 

[The_King]

I am in agreement with ApocalypseCow.

Why bother being a friend to her, so she can tell you sob stories about some jerk, who has just used for a ONS. Man, that should be you.

Do not enter the friendship zone...do you think she is going to wake up one day and no longer see you as a friend. Severly doubt it.

If you do make a move while being a good friend, she will probably be ever so sweet in crushing you by saying

"I do not want to spoil our frinedship"


And you will probably reply

"but think how special it would be, we get along great".

It will not work, it works as often as warm sh!t from a rocking horse!

DJ her instead buddy

 

[mahon83050]

I hear where you guys are coming from, but I am not talking about a relationship. I was just talking about hooking up and is hooking up as in "no strings attached".

Sounds to me like you guys are saying, if you are her friend....there is no way you can ever hook up with her.

These are chicks that you find hot, but would not really want to date.

 

[mahon83050]

By the way, I was invited out the other night by this hot blonde I vaguely know. She is going away for 2 months..... It was a night at a bar with a few other friends.

I was not really getting any "great vibes" from her, but I was doing my part....."being a smart ass, looking in the eye and putting my arm around her waist a few times.

I think she is super hot, but not relationship material....(she smokes, has a nose ring and hangs out at bars all the time)

However, is this chick is "not into me", she is probably good to hang around as "social proof" for other chicks.

 

[stallion]

I doubt that you can even hook up with the girl who put you in LJBF land.. First of all, they see you as a girl-guy-friend, so theres no way they would want to fvck their friend.

Unless they see you as a sexual being, as a potential bf, then theres a chance of hooking up.

 

[mahon83050]

Well, I can it being impossble if you have been friends for like 6 months to a year +, but what if you have only hung out with the chick a few times and still do not know much about her? I would think there is still somewhat of a chance.

 

[The_King]

You seem to keep telling us that there is a chance....waiting for someone to agree and say yes your right. You must be keen on her, do not get oneitis.

The only way for you to find out is to learn, you have heard the guys here saying it will not work. But, man, if your sure you will learn from this experience and take the positive from it. Go For It. Be sure to let us know the results. DJ her, remain mysterious, do not treat her as a friend, your a sexual being...you do not want her as a friend.


Over and Out

 

[becker]

I'm in the minority here, but to me, there is no problem being in the friend zone if you're the one doing the LJBF-ing, rather than her. This throws the ball in her court, and will make her think twice since she will feel as though she doesn't have you as an option, and may make her want you more. This will mainly work only if she might like you but you're unsure and are sick of her games.

Anyways, just a thought.

 

[KevM2]

Sure, it's possible to get out of the LJBF category. What matters though, is the terms that the friendship was based on. Were you the guy that always let her cry on your shoulder while she b*tched about some jerk? If you are, then you're going to have to do a lot more work. With these salvage jobs, it is always your duty to slowly transition the relationship into something else from which it already is. Patience is the key here. Become more 'busy' and not being available for all her b*tch sessions is the key. Feel free to tell her about 'other' women you've had your eye on. It will get her jealous. The goal of all of this is inducing the proper feelings in her and stimulating her mind to the point that she is receptive to your advances.

If you're her tear rag, she's coming to you as a venting session. You are her diary. She comes to you full of rage and cries, whines, and moans until she's into a cool calm. She will then proceed to leave without so much as a 'thanks'. That's her association with you. You are her emotional toilet, on which she sh*ts her problems, and then flushes (she leaves). You have to change that cycle. The problem is that she's feeling real sh*tty when she visits you and leaves the meeting all calm. Being in a calm doesn't induce one to take action. Being passionate is not having a clear mind. You have to inject some sense of horniness or other exciting feeling into her before she leaves, other than the mellowness of friendship. That boring,"lets talk your problems out and let me be your psychologist" routine WILL NOT WORK.

Whenever she looks like she's about to come over and go into her whining sessions, you have to be up front with her. "Girl, I don't want you to wallow in anger or whatever other negative feelings you may have at the moment. Right now, I want you to come over to have fun. Let's get your mind off all of those unpleasant things."

Basically, what you are trying to do is change her mindstate. Get her mind off all the bullsh*t. Once she's calm enough to have a little fun, play some games or tell her some stories that can get her mind, body, or both stimulated. I'll elaborate later, but I'm tired right now. Stay tuned.

 

[GQ Prettyboy]

no sexual interest= friendzone. That`s why fags make the best friends with women

 

[PRMoon]

you can get out of the friends zone, but it isn't easy. I've managed to dig myself out of that ditch a few times. You just have to keep your wits about you and use your cunning tactics ... maybe a dash of alcohol and you can put yourself right back in the drivers seat to hookin up.

You shouldn't under estimate the value of a good friend who's a girl though. I have a few and they do tons and tons of foot work for me, making my life alot easier.

 

[Unbridled_1]

bump

 

[JohnJones]

I would also have to point out that at least in the "hang out" culture that I was socialized in, there are female friends who would probably feel put on the spot if asked on a date (or, god forbid, you confessed your love) but who think nothing of getting drunk and hooking up (without regret or damage to the friendship, except for whatever you think of them).

This does not help you make them into a girlfriend, however.

 

[Lone_raider]

Well, I for one have never succesfully dug out of the friend zone. It is a horrible feeling being there, and I don't know how anyone ever gets out of it? I will never, ever again try and be "friends first" then something more. It's a waste of time, gets you a lot of nothing, and you always get burned in the end. Maybe some here have the skill and the long months it takes to get out of that zone, but I look at it like this. It's a lot easier to make a move right off the bat then spend a year making friends then working out of it and perhaps having it fail! I'd rather have her turn her head away from a kiss on the first date, at least I know where I stand and can move on to someone else!

 

[GynecologyEnthusiast]

It is possible to get out, but typically doesn't go as well as it would if you had started correctly from the beginning.

The situation that absolutely must be avoided is this:

Don't be in the friend zone hoping that she will change her mind.

If you find yourself in that zone, back way the hell off and let what ever happens happen. Unfortunately, the odds are against you.

 

[Pooki]

Listen to Gynecology Enthusiast, he sounds like he's been there many, many times.

 

[GynecologyEnthusiast]

We've all been there quite a few times. If you haven't in the past, then you haven't been trying and you wouldn't need this board.

We all know dating is a numbers game. No one has 100% success. If you success rate is too high then you aren't trying hard enough and setting your standards too low.

 

[Starman]

This is the best statement Ive heard in a while

" It amazes me how some guys try their hardest to pretend they don't have a d!ck, and then get angry when they are treated like they don't."

Just a side note..I had a talk with alot of the girls Ive been LJBF'ed..and they have admitted they have thought about how sex would be with me..and they laughed about it afterwards from embarrassment.

SO I mean if they have some faint memory of you as a sexual being..it might be possible to get out of the LJBF zone.

If anyone has succeeeded let me know. Too bad..Im not interested in my LJBF's anymore.