Being Bold

[TheEnergizer]

Hey guys, just wanted to ask a simple yet important question that hugely affects all aspects of life:

what do you guys do to make yourself do something that takes balls? you know those times where you KNOW something you could do would have a positive outcome and theres nothing to lose, but something in you stops you? if youve gotten over this feeling, share it! cuz sometimes this happens to me, i overthink, i hesitate, i chicken out, whatever. i'm not talking about approach anxiety, thats seriously easy i dont see how people have problems with that in HS haha. i'm talking about doing something really fun or crazy once in a while, something you wouldnt normally do to make things more interesting, like singing, talking loud or cheering, dancing, whatever stuff like that without being high or whatever. know what i mean?

i know all those stuff are energetic, but i used to be shy, so even when i have lots of energy, i usually dont do crazy stuff like that, but would like to, however usually i'm not brave enough and something inside holds me back. i think i probably just think too much or something, which makes me hesitate. another thing is that i'm a lot more comfortable doing this around close friends.

sooo,, guys, what should i do? things i'm gonna try are:
more energy (especially when i wake up, when i believe its most important), focus more(think outside my head more, clear my mind of all logical and over-thinkage), force myself to do it, practice around friends and siblings, etc. ive also come up with this "soldier" way of thinking thing, where i predetermine whether i should do something, then tell myself to do it, then jsut "obey" and carry out that order without hesitation and without thinking about it at all like a soldier (in my mind). hmm i'm definitely going to test that one.

sooo any other suggestions? this is really one of my big sticking points right now which would be really nice if i could get over!

sorry for huge block of text, you probly know by now i do that alot.... Hey, gotta be thorough! (did i spell that right?)

 

[jeffthechef]

i got over any of those issues after reading some books...some books were read on my own time, some were school related...i realized that my life could be much greater and interesting...you see the Great Gatsby hosting lavish parties...the kid, forget his name..kinda farmish sounding, anyways the kid in catcher in the rye would call prostitutes and drink at bars...haha..bunch of differnet books...so try read more perhaps and movies too....you'll realize how much more interesting your life could be if you did what you felt like...

philosophy also helps...since your problems are mental...read some philosophical ****..western or eastern...you might develop a better sense of self..and other deep **** that'll help you live a better life

 

[Analyzeit]

It's all mental, the soldier things a good way to look at it but it just a way to look at it. Nothing more, nothing less.

"like singing, talking loud or cheering, dancing, whatever stuff like that without being high or whatever. know what i mean?"

I personally don't do these things unless I'm drinking. I mean lets be honest here, your gonna sing, dance, cheer, ect.... and not be drinking or in a situation when people are drinking?? your going to look like an idiot lol.

I mean if your gonna sing, dance, ect... round me (us not being close friends) I'm gonna think your an over energetic **** head even if your drinking with me. Your just going you get drilling if you do that. Make sure you do it in MODERATION. Important word remember it.

Everything else is just mental, You can't give tips for what someone just has to make themselves do.

 

[TheEnergizer]

thanks for the help guys, youre right, it is mental... but i think ive found a way to do this since ive been thinking about it.

and youre right, dancing and cheering is probly a bit of a stretch, but i know a lot of popular extroverted guys that sing and thats one of the main things i wanted to do among just plain doing something fun and not being held back once in a while. of course i know better than to act like a crazy loon trust me on that one ok haha. im not a weirdo/tryhard/anything like that ok lol

 

[Analyzeit]

Yeah i know your not haha

Singing is ok, i was singing "Like a virgin" today and man that was a conversation starter with chicks haha

 

[Devon]

Just do it

 

[intrextrovert]

What devon said, you have to keep doing things. Courage isn't being unafraid, it's defeating your fear.

For instance, me and friends like to jump off some big ass cliffs into the river, we jump off the biggest ones. I used to be crazy afraid of heights before i started doing this. To get there you have to drop down from a fence onto an ~1 foot wide path made of trees and possibly dirt, and edge your way over to the rock. You then must make a leap of faith into the air, as you cannot see the river below. Falling at the wrong part almost certainly means shattering most of the bones in your body or even death. Many people that don't do it say how we must be unafraid or whatever, but the truth? I'm scared ****less every time I do it, until I get used to it after a few jumps. My body shakes, my mind is focused on survival, everything inside me tries to force me to stay on the cliff. I'm scared. However i'm also very good at thinking under pressure, so stay calm and even turn the fear into excitement. I'll run at the end of the cliff, knowing that if I do this my body can't stop me, and will instead help me by jumping, so that I don't fall to my demise. After a few times, I'm used to it and can walk along the edge, or jump off spinning or whatever. These days it's no biggie. There is no replacement for doing things.

Of course, physical things are much easier to overcome than emotional things like making moves on a girl, as with physical things there is a clear objective and procedure. However, overcoming your fear of being bold is the same: do it, do it more, and keep doing it. Exposure is really the only way to conquer any fear in my opinion.