Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Being a challenge/Not intrested

PooMan

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Whats the difference?

I told this gal i love it when a gal is a challenge, before i told her this (a day after i was hanging out with her) she was all over me, we were really into each other, told each other secrets, fantasies etc etc!

then we met, i stupidly mentioned the challenge thing, and shes been acting a lil differently, im not sure if shes lost intrest or is just being a challenge!

I then told her later on a couple of days later her being a challenge was working, and she said "well apparently iam pretty good at it"

How do ya know/find out?

Cheers
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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joekerr31

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women take "i like a challenge" as "I like a b*tch"

dumb move man.

J
 

PooMan

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I know it was a stupid thing to say, and probably the biggest thing i regret ever saying to a girl but

ive said it now and i need to deal with it, because i really like this gal!

she knows im intrested, shes been playing up to being a challenge at times saying things like "well apparently im pretty good at it" and when we were discussing how much of a challenge out of 10 it would be to get her into bed she said

"im a 10 for you"

i said "10? make it a 9 because its you"

she said "alright 9 and a half"

so i just said "you know its really an 8 because its me"

and she replied "its a 9 and im going no lower"
 

PooMan

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Ha ok so ive just been talking to her, shes playing up to being a challenge no doubts about that!

She said "i love being a challenge me, its amusing"

i replied "yeh its kinda funny for me too tbh"

then later on she mentioned something that i said was harsh so i said "no whats harsh is what ive got planned for you tomorrow"

she replied "whats that?"

i wouldnt tell her, told her good things come to those who wait, she was desperate to find what is was i had planned for her, and said tomorrow im out all day, i wont speak to ya probably!

now i dont have anything planned (i could think of something if need be) i told her shell find out tomorrow through a text what i have planned!

shes just text me saying "now thats just plain rude, if ur so good at reading women, u should no never keep a women waiting, especially me"

how could i reply to that? or should i just leave it?

also because i have nothing planned for tomorrow and she thinks i have something harsh planned for her, shall i just wait till she contacts me to find out what it is? should i admit i dont have anything planned tomorrow? or should i make something up? (i have in mind something that would really annoy/make her laugh)

what ya think?

ta
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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pimpfromdayone

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I don't think it was bad for you to say that, but what probably MADE it bad was how you acted after you said it. If you acted like you regretted saying it and pulled back like you were scared you would lose her, then that is the problem. You also mention she didn't seem to lose interest until "you met." At least, that's what it sounds like from your story. Self-explanatory there..... I would recommend that you stop playing the challenge game with her because then she knows she can do whatever she wants to you and it will affect you. I don't quite see what direction you're trying to take this, but with the "wait and find out" plan, in theory it should work because of the anticipation and whatnot, but I think you should cancel whatever idea you had in mind and wait a couple more days. At least that way she isn't the only one being a challenge.
 

PooMan

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Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
I don't think it was bad for you to say that, but what probably MADE it bad was how you acted after you said it. If you acted like you regretted saying it and pulled back like you were scared you would lose her, then that is the problem. You also mention she didn't seem to lose interest until "you met." At least, that's what it sounds like from your story. Self-explanatory there..... I would recommend that you stop playing the challenge game with her because then she knows she can do whatever she wants to you and it will affect you. I don't quite see what direction you're trying to take this, but with the "wait and find out" plan, in theory it should work because of the anticipation and whatnot, but I think you should cancel whatever idea you had in mind and wait a couple more days. At least that way she isn't the only one being a challenge.
Well when i told her i like a gal whose a challenge, i was chatting about this gal whose literally all over me and its so off putting!

The gal who i like just said "ooo finding stuff about you here" and "well stop acting so nice to her"

when she says shes a challenge, i just say something like "well good, coz you know i like a challenge"

as for this thing i have planned, i was thinking the same thing, i wont speak to her tomorrow i think were both busy, sunday i could probably avoid her, but if we do come into contact on msn ill just say, something like "being desperate to find something out isnt very challenging of you is it, ur starting to put me off you now" or if its texting i just wont reply this weekend!

Also im getting annoyed with the games that are being played with her, how do i change these games into making her meet up with me in a couple of weeks alone?

cheers
 

BrotherAP

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Don't play hard to get

Why is it that everybody thinks that 'Being a Challenge' means 'Playing hard to get'? You know it never quite works out if you're just playing - you have to actually be hard to get if you want to be a challenge. That means being willing to give up on a girl when she's requiring too much effort.

"but ive said it now and i need to deal with it, because i really like this gal!"

Right there is your problem - you're no challenge at all, nobody can be a challenge with the 'but I really like her!' attitude.

I think the best thing to do when she said she was so much of a challenge would have been to reply in a way that disarmed her, such as "Great, I wont waste my time then".

Oh yeah, and when she said "now thats just plain rude, if ur so good at reading women, u should no never keep a women waiting, especially me" my first thought would be "and who the fvck are you... the queen of england?". Probably better if you dont say that, but you definitely have to keep her waiting, excessively, to avoid kissing her ass (because that's what she's trying to get you to do).
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Originally posted by PooMan
then later on she mentioned something that i said was harsh so i said "no whats harsh is what ive got planned for you tomorrow"

she replied "whats that?"

i wouldnt tell her, told her good things come to those who wait, she was desperate to find what is was i had planned for her, and said tomorrow im out all day, i wont speak to ya probably!

what ya think?

ta
Tell her you plan on getting her in the butt and see what she says. I think it fits your screenname.
 

flexion_

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Anything more you say will dig things deeper into annoying'ness. Just don't bring it up again and be your usual fun aloof self and all will be good.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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