skinnyguy said:
A while ago, I said that texting creates relationships because you build rapport with the girl through text "game". Boy was I wrong.
You see it all started with this HB 7 I was dating in the late Spring. We texted back and forth nightly, and when I went to visit her in LA we started making out in my hotel room but she wouldn't fvck me. I thought it was really odd considering she always initiated the texts with me and was all over me on the date.
I then realized that she had friendzoned me.
We hung out a few times over the summer but eventually I cut her off. As someone said earlier today, female friends are very low value. I refuse now to have females in my life who I'm not fvcking because it is a grand waste of my time.
You see, the texting that I did made me more of an emotional tampon than a guy that she wanted to fvck. So Harry, I want to apologize - I will not make this same mistake again with girls.
I'm going to take this from the issue of 'value' and branch out from there. Several years ago, I was a complete emotional tampon for some girl I worked alongside with. The girl would feed me her problems at home, her problems with guys she was dating, personal issues regarding her health, cry over the phone at least once a month with me, but I never treated her as a possible partner. She was my "homie". About a year after interacting with her that way, sexual tension somehow found it's way into our conversations until we wound up becoming FWB (which she initiated on her own volition) I'll also add that she's at least about a 7. How did this happen? Value. She perceived me as being very very high value. I ran the show at work, I had a ton of status there, I had girls flirting with me everyday, I would occasionally tell her here and there about girls I'd date, I had sex with one of her friends... - value. Did we text each other often? Yes, quite often at that.
I'm pretty sure it was in Blueprint Decoded by Owen from RSD where he explained that the reason why it's often the case that managers bang a ton of their female subordinates is due to the girls being unable to distinguish between the World at large and the 'world' that is where they work - their brains dupe them into believing that their boss(es) at work are these all powerful alpha lions when in fact their value is simply being inflated due to the context they are being placed in, it's purely situational. Think for a second about that 6 in a small midwestern city who gets perceived as an 8 or a 9 now because she's surrounded by 3s and 4s. Throw her in Miami or Los Angeles and then tell me where you rate her.
Back to texting - I find myself partly agreeing with this, but I think context is being left out. I'll go further: if you are a 'blank canvas', you guys just met, this girl knows nothing about you, then trying to build something up largely (or entirely even) through text messaging is bound to send you down the wrong path (ie friendzone). What does she know about you? What are you working
against? How many options does
she have? How does she appraise herself? High value? Low Value? How often does she get cold approached and give out her number? Does she have orbiters blowing up her phone with texts? If so, then why would
you stand out? When she appraises
you, where does she think you belong on the totem pole of value? What have you done (or not done) to convey you have high value in her eyes? Is she desperate or not? All of this will have an impact on how much you can get away with through text messaging. A quote I came across a few months ago rings loudly in this case: "a woman would rather share a winner than have a loser all too herself". Did you leave with the impression that your set rocked her world so hard her head was left vibrating for the rest of the week? If you met her through cold approach, the reason texting works against you is because it's too one dimensional - you stand a far better chance of bringing her into
your world in person where the gravitational pull is much stronger and where you can more
effectivelyraise her perception of your value. If she is unsure of your value, then why would she bump you ahead of the other chumps texting her round the clock? She has to have something to work with. She has to be sucked into your world, really buy into the idea that you are the omnipotent emperor of your little kingdom,
then you can get away with murder (or texting her a bit more frequently) - that's my experience with texting anyway. In brief, if you met through cold approach, texting is simply to arrange a way for her to be physically present so she can slide right into the jaws of your own little personal reality. As far as texting goes, social circle offers more breathing room, and my view why will tie in with my view of having female friends, which I
strongly endorse. Make THEM the orbiters. And, ironically enough, what better way to achieve than through text messaging? Just a stupid little text message here and there once in awhile, then meet
First reason why I support having female friends is probably for the obvious reason that they serve as social proof. Better to have mediocre looking, even ugly looking female friends than none at all. Other girls take stock of this. In addition, girls ALWAYS run in packs, so you increase your odds of finding yourself a girl you're attracted to by virtue of sheer volume. Remember, numbers game. Second, they make great wings. Girls love to hook guys up with other chicks - LOVE IT. Plus, if your wing is hot enough for you to consider, you can actually bring out her competitive nature by deliberately using her to help you find other girls. If not, what better form of social proof to a prospective plate than to show up tag teaming with a hot girl by your side? Third, you can use them to strengthen your game by having access to the thousands of winding and twisting roads that makeup the female brain (which will help in cold reading girls in the future). They've already accepted you (at a friendship level), plus they'll love the attention, so why not take advantage, test material on them and gauge their reactions? Make your personality more dynamic this way. This is your ticket to rising up to being a "natural". Fourth, the better you get at interacting with them, the easier it will get to start trading up, getting hotter girls as friends, and you'll be able to relate to them on a deeper level than some 21st Century caveman simply looking to relieve himself of his biological impulse to knock her up, and why wouldn't you want to graduate from mere primate to natural to
puppetmaster anyway? Then, once this evolves into a state of existence in which you are now flooded with options, you won't even ask yourself whether or not you should text this girl or that one, because you'll have 2, 3, 12 more in line waiting for their turn. Better still, even if they all fell by the wayside, you'd be equipped with the knowledge based on experience on what you'd have to do to get 10 more in line.
Flip the script - make THEM the orbiters, and ironically enough, what better way to achieve that than through text messaging? Just a stupid little text message here and there once in awhile to stay in their radar, then maybe meet up once or twice a month during the weekend to do the whole social proof thing, wing to other girls, get better with girls in general, or just have fun with them.
